You Might Be A Redneck if......

[Mastertank1]

Your richest relative buys a new house, and asks you to help take the wheels off.

You mow your lawn, and find a car.

You brought a beer to a job interview.

You smoked during your wedding ceremony.

You make change out of the collection plate in church.

People constantly and mistakenly think you’re having a yard sale.

You win the lottery and paint your new private plane to look like the General Lee from the Dukes Of Hazard.

You attend the family reunion to meet women.

You do NOT want to marry a virgin, because if she ain’t good enough for her own kin.......

The religious pictures on your wall include Elvis on black velvet.

You bought an ankle bracelet for your favorite sheep.

The phrase 'say no to crack' reminds you to hitch up your jeans.

 

[milagros317]

LOL 😛
Very amusing list. 😀

 

[badreligion]

if you think the prase watch what you eat refers to you standing in front of a mirror every time u have a meal


if u ever cracked a beer open after you recive communion at church

 

[Mastertank1]

I LIKE these!

if you think the prase watch what you eat refers to you standing in front of a mirror every time u have a meal


if u ever cracked a beer open after you recive communion at church

Very cool!

 

[bellystrokes]

Never tire of them, hehehehe

 

[giantfan121262]

You would be a redneck if:

You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

The biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.

You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

Your wife weighs more then your refrigerator.

You move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.

You can spit without opening your mouth.

Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on shoes and a jacket and grabbing a flashlight.

You go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

Taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

There are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

You take a fishing pole to Sea World.

The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

You've ever filled your deer tag on the golf course.

You've ever shot somebody over a mall parking space.

Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

You think mud rasslin' should be an Olympic sport.

The receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

You think the stock market has a fence around it.

You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.

Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.

Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.

Your home has more miles on it than your car.

Your Christmas tree is still up in February.

You've ever been arrested for loitering.

You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre.

There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.

You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

You've ever shot anyone for looking at you.

You own a homemade fur coat.

Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

You've totaled every car you've ever owned.

 

[Mastertank1]

Awright Giantfan!!!!!

Some of those were freakin' HILARIOUS!
Right ARM!

Or was that right on? I forget after the twentieth beer.
😀

 

[OnnaOtaku]

...If you've married Britney Spears? Can that be one?! Pretty please!

 

[Mastertank1]

Those guys were not rednecks

...If you've married Britney Spears? Can that be one?! Pretty please!

they were pencil necks, as in 'pencilnecked geeks'.

For a woman to marry a 'guy' like them, she might as well marry another woman. A bull dyke would be more masculine.