You might be a redneck if;

[Mastertank1]

your dentist has an express lane for those with 15 teeth or fewer.
😉

 

[ChosenofMystra]

You buy your grandmother ammo for x-mas

You think a stock tip is advice on wormin' your hogs

You think Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company

You think possum is "the other white meat"

You hooked up with your present girlfriend as a result of the message on the wall of the men's room at the truck stop

 

[kered]

I love redneck humor!


The sekkund un looks kinda lak Venray, dunt it.

 

[Bugman]

You might be a redneck if the collapse of your front porch injures more then 4 dogs.

 

[goddess_nemesis]

You might be a redneck if...

* you're junior/senior prom had a daycare.
* you think "hors d'oeuvre" are those girls at the intersection downtown.
* you think your state bird is the Pontiac Firebird.
* you've ever written a check for less than a dollar.

 

[Mastertank1]

You just might

be a redneck if making the bed
A) requires moving more than three animals
or
B) requires moving more than two species of animals
or
C) involves a hammer, nails and a saw.

You might be a redneck if;
three generations of your family have ever been in the same wet t-shirt contest

you have ever been stared at angrily for opening a pop top of beer in church, during the sermon, and honestly didn't know why.

you have ever sacrificed a small animal in front of a portrait of Elvis painted on black velvet.

you have actually prayed to the plastic Jesus and Mary on your dashboard
(known as dashboard idolatry).

your ex-wife is now your stepmother.

 

[Bugman]

You might be a redneck if there are more then two couches on your front porch.