You might be a redneck....

[Mastertank1]

if the bottoms of all beer and soda bottles sold in your area have "Open Other End" printed on them.

If you do all your praying over the CB radio and address God as Good Buddy.

If the bumper of your car says 'Powered By Mopar' and the back of your jacket says 'Powered By Budwieser'. (or, for hardcore rednecks, 'Powered By Jack Daniels')

if you thinking 'popping wood' means shooting branches off of trees.

if you think long-necked beer bottles are covered by the right to keep and bear arms.

if the street you live on has the same name as your family, because no one else lives there (or wants to.)

if someone has posted a sign saying 'Do Not Feed Or Annoy The Animals' on the front door of your home.

 

[bellystrokes]

Hey sweetie, I never tire of these: And forgive any repeats but here are a few more for the party:

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3 . Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

 

[milagros317]

LOL 😛
Both amusing lists. 😀

 

[isabeau]

I don't get the joke about the bottle of beer...open other end? i don't understand...

 

[Bugman]

1.The collapse of your front porch injures 3 or more dogs.

2.You have a refrigerator on the front porch.

3.You have at least 2 cars on blocks in the driveway.

4.Your niece is also your cousin.

5.You had both teeth cleaned during you last dental visit.

6.You have this bumper sticker on your truck-My wife said if i go fishing one more time shes's gonna leave me.I'm gonna miss her.

7.Your last keg party resulted in three fistfights and two arrests.

8.Your idea of formal wear is a clean t-shirt and bib overalls.

9.You own at least 25 gimme caps.

 

[kered]

9.You own at least 25 gimme caps.

Hey! I have that many gimme caps!!

 

[Bugman]

What can i tell ya man?

A redneck yard sale.

 

[kered]

West Virginia hunting dogs I got from Isabeau.

 

[Bugman]

kereds home security system. 😀

 

[Mastertank1]

Open Other End

I don't get the joke about the bottle of beer...open other end? i don't understand...

is printed on the BOTTOM because they try to open the bottom first.

Oh Izzy, you are such an endearing little blonde!

 

[Mastertank1]

What is the difference between...

a good ol' boy and a redneck?

A good ol' boy raises livestock; a redneck has emotional relationships with livestock.

You might be a redneck...

if you sacrifice small, furry animals to the plastic icons on your dashboard.

if you think the satirical song "Plastic Jesus" is an actual hymn.

 

[isabeau]

is printed on the BOTTOM because they try to open the bottom first.

Oh Izzy, you are such an endearing little blonde!

ahhh thanks Mitch...if you find me so endearing, beat up all these guys who insist on telling blonde jokes....hehehehe......

 

[giantfan121262]

Does anybody mind if I add some more to the list?

1. Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife. LOL, I have a truck, and this is true with me.

2. You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations.

3. You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.

4. You've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.

5. You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday.

6. You have used a velvet leaf plant as toilet paper.

7. You have driven off the road while examining your neighbors crops.

8. You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway.

9. You have buried a dog and cried like a baby.

10. You've used the same knife to make bull calves steers and peel apples.

 

[Bugman]

LOL giantfan,those are great.

 

[Illtcklu]

If you have to climb the water tower with a can of paint to defend your sister honor............. you might be a redneck?!


If you've ever had your nipple bitten off by a squirrel........ you might be a redneck?!

 

[kered]

Bugman relaxing at home.

 

[Bugman]

What kered hopes is at the end of the Rainbow.