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I posted a whole long thing that I thought better left unsaid. All I will say is that today is a difficult anniversary, the day of my grandfather's death, and also one year since my mom had that incident which led her going to the hosp the next morning, and finding out about the brain cancer...
The first anniversary of this terrible event isnt until Tuesday, by the date, but, one year ago, on a Sunday afternoon, Feb 12, 2012, around 4pm, my mom went into the bathroom at our apartment in Lancaster, and didnt emerge until after I had called the paramedics, some 11 hours later. It was...
I think I made progress tonight. I'm cautiously optimistic.
I had dinner with my father at his favorite chinese resturant. When I expressed my hurt about his seemingly forgetting my bday, he gave me dinner, and a $100 bill, which I thought was very nice.
I think I'm beginning to...
Best posted in the blog.
I was just sitting and thinking about how my situation with my father really is..,. Bottom line.. the relationship is run by him, where only his feelings count.. 100% of the time.
I've posted about how evil his brother and his cousins...
I'm sure I'm going to get slammed for this blog post by the usual suspects, but I dont care.
I saw my father today, and we had a very bad meeting, partially his fault, and partially mine for not keeping my cool.
I was very upset about my mom, and the void that I felt...
I was a bad boy today, and went to my favorite place, Acqueduct. I've basically been grounded this whole week due to my illness, my dad's illness, and the extreme cold weather.
I started by winning $300 at a penny slot that I play all the time. Its rare to win $300 at a penny...
Another birthday, number 43. I got a nice e-mail from my dad right around midnight. Hes sick with a bad flu, so its highly possible there will be no celebrating today. Most important I want him to get better, and the weather is very cold, so he shouldnt be out.
After I read his...
Tomorrow is my dear mother's 75th bday. I hope she is happy, and will have a wonderful celebration with all of our relatives who are with her in Heaven. I wish I could give you a big hug, mom. Last year at this time, we thought everything was fine. It was three weeks before our world came...
I can post this in the blog. It's the latest about my father. Sometimes he is just unbelievable.
I saw him yesterday for the first time since he returned from his trip to the islands, and its just unreal how he is constantly justifying everyone who hurts me, and treats me...
One of the resturants that I go to on a fairly regular basis, has a very kind woman, Maria. Maria and I have talked some about our personal lives.
Maria, like me, is on her own. Unfortunately, she has even a worse situation than me, in that she lost her whole family...
Last night, something odd happened, and I'm wondering whether this is an indication of a larger issue.
Last year, when we rang in 2012, and I thought my mom was fine, I wished her Happy New Year, hugged her, and told her that when we welcomed 2013, I was hoping to have a nice girl to...
No, this isnt some dramatic blog post announcing my angry departure from the forum. My 2012 effectively ended today. My dad is going to the islands tomorrow until after the 1st, with all my favorite cousins. I'm going to try and take one last breather and reflection, before moving on to...
I had to see my father for dinner tonight, because I stupidly lost my keys. Our dinner turned into more of the same.
My father continues to rant on about my mom, going on about how people told him to put her in the street. I despised his mother, yet have refrained from saying bad things...
I forgot to post this part of my conversation with my father when I saw him on Tuesday. It was one of the most important, and appalling, parts of the conversation.
My father just cannot get off attacking my mom's character, about her age, the condition of the apartment, the alimony, etc...
Tonight I had a meeting alone with my uncle. I'm now convinced that nothing will ever be good between my paternal family and me, no matter how hard I try.
My uncle began with an attack, saying how people told my father to put my mom in the street by not paying the alimony...
Today, I saw my uncle for the first time since the day after my 18th bday. We had lunch at PJ Clarkes in Manhattan for a total of.. an hour. My father was there. The two of them did most of the talking, and I did most of the listening. I'm supposed to meet my uncle for dinner alone...
After mulling it over in my mind about the Hannakah party, I came to the conclusion that enough was enough. I have a slight cold, but, if I really wanted to attend, I'd have pushed myself. I sent my father an e-mail, explaining to him that I didnt feel a family gathering was the appropriate...
On Wednesday, I was summoned to lunch at Shun Lee Palace by my father. Unfortunately for me, I had a case of the verbal runs, so to speak, and got myself into hot water. This is completely unusual, considering the only meaningful thing about me that my father knows, is that I watch Jim...
I went to the family party yesterday, and survived. The people behaved okay, all except the two cousins Sandy and Gail, who interrogated me about my new business, which I dont want to discuss, because its not set up yet.
My biggest problem is my father. We had a long talk last...
Tomorrow wiill begin what I call the "Dreaded emotional sixty", and they will not end until the morning of January 24.
In the next sixty days, as we know, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years... Then.., after the holidays, what would have been my mom's 75th day Jan 19th, and my...
