Yesterday was my beloved grandma's 88th birthday. She's still living on her own in Brooklyn; she has a social worker that checks in once per month and a Home Attendant comes to help her with a few things M-F mornings, but that's it. She practically raised me, she's smart and tough and hilarious and she is Awesome itself.
But she drives me CRAZY. You know how I get when I'm mad? She's like that all the time
. And because I'm still only 12 in her mind I have no skills and no common sense and I really shouldn't be running around loose, She has no idea how I'm raising a family. My daughters both went to kindergarten after growing up in my at-home preschool, knowing how to read and count to 100 plus primary spanish and sign language. My grandmother *still* to this day thinks I should have sent them to a REAL preschool and not just their mommy's babysitting job 
Yesterday's conversation, I swear this is exactly how it went:
Happy Birthday!
Yes ma'am, I have lots of babies today. Six. You're right, it's almost like I finally have a real school.
Bill's fine, but he did stay home sick today...
No Ma'am, it's not the Swine Flu.
It's not.
It's NOT.
No Ma'am, I didn't raise my voice to you, it's just not the Swine Flu.
Because I KNOW IT'S NOT.
No Ma'am, I didn't use the wrong tone of voice with you.
No Ma'am, my nose hole hasn't given me cancer yet. And it's called a piercing.
IT'S NOT (pause for change of tone) going to give me Nose Cancer. I promise.
Yes, they still ride the school bus. No, they're not afraid of being kidnapped. Yes, I gave them the rape whistles you sent, thank you.
I love you too. We should talk more often.
Any of you who wonder why I'm like this? Now you know 🙄
But she drives me CRAZY. You know how I get when I'm mad? She's like that all the time
. And because I'm still only 12 in her mind I have no skills and no common sense and I really shouldn't be running around loose, She has no idea how I'm raising a family. My daughters both went to kindergarten after growing up in my at-home preschool, knowing how to read and count to 100 plus primary spanish and sign language. My grandmother *still* to this day thinks I should have sent them to a REAL preschool and not just their mommy's babysitting job Yesterday's conversation, I swear this is exactly how it went:
Happy Birthday!
Yes ma'am, I have lots of babies today. Six. You're right, it's almost like I finally have a real school.
Bill's fine, but he did stay home sick today...
No Ma'am, it's not the Swine Flu.
It's not.
It's NOT.
No Ma'am, I didn't raise my voice to you, it's just not the Swine Flu.
Because I KNOW IT'S NOT.
No Ma'am, I didn't use the wrong tone of voice with you.
No Ma'am, my nose hole hasn't given me cancer yet. And it's called a piercing.
IT'S NOT (pause for change of tone) going to give me Nose Cancer. I promise.
Yes, they still ride the school bus. No, they're not afraid of being kidnapped. Yes, I gave them the rape whistles you sent, thank you.
I love you too. We should talk more often.
Any of you who wonder why I'm like this? Now you know 🙄
