I pretty much remember the whole thing verbatim. I swear sometimes this kid can read my mind, or knows WAY more than I thought
her: Plant Entrance 1500 ft, what does that mean?
me: That's where Robert Plant goes at night.
her: Let's stop, you've got the van for it.
me: and do what? Lure him in with candy?
her: well duh, I bet he likes peppermints best.
me: Alright, tomorrow we'll come back and bag him.
her: Are you sure you can handle that kind of responsibility
me: Huh?
her: having a pet is alot of work. But, I think you're a big girl. You can keep him but you have to take real good care of him. Brush him and feed him, take him out for a walk so he doesn't pee on the floor. Fill his water bowl. But he can't sleep at the foot of the bed, that's where Zeek sleeps [family dog].
me: gee, thanks. I can't wait.
her: and you have to give him lots of attention
me: I think I can do that [insert girlie squealing here]
her: Oh so you are gonna kiiiiss him?
me: what do you think?
her: well... ...
me: well what?
her: you'd have to tie him to the bed first
me: [mortified.. what just came out of her mouth?] WHAT!? that is a sentence that will never come out of your mouth again.
her: why? if you tied him to a chair he'd still run away.
me: [in an attempt to segway away from a statement meant in innocence but still downright scary] what, you think he'd run away from me if I tried to kiss him?
her: well ...
me: well what?
her: [muffled statement]
me: spit it out, you've already unlocked pandora's box, might as well open that bad boy
her: promise you won't get mad [giggling]
me: promise.. what, cause I'm fat?
her: you'd have to wax your moustache
me: Ugh, you're terrible... so if I waxed my moustache, THEN would he still try to run away
her: well... you'd have to bleach and straighten your teeth
me: then will he run away?
her: well, then you'd have to straighten your hair and dye it a normal color
me: then will he run away
her: then you'd have to chop off your feet and somehow transplant Taylor swift's feet on your ankles... but you'd have to steal her feet before you cut off your own, otherwise it won't work)
me: Now what's wrong with my feet?
her: they're weird, you're an adult and we wear the same size shoes, and your big toes, sometimes I imagine they have eyes and they're staring at me.
me: okay, so I've fixed the moustache teeth hair and feet, THEN would he run away
her: oh wait, isn't he like really old now?
me: yeah, so
her: then no, he wouldn't run away, he'd break a hip... ew mom, way to rob the nursing home!
I can not express to you how much I LOVE my kid.
her: Plant Entrance 1500 ft, what does that mean?
me: That's where Robert Plant goes at night.
her: Let's stop, you've got the van for it.
me: and do what? Lure him in with candy?
her: well duh, I bet he likes peppermints best.
me: Alright, tomorrow we'll come back and bag him.
her: Are you sure you can handle that kind of responsibility
me: Huh?
her: having a pet is alot of work. But, I think you're a big girl. You can keep him but you have to take real good care of him. Brush him and feed him, take him out for a walk so he doesn't pee on the floor. Fill his water bowl. But he can't sleep at the foot of the bed, that's where Zeek sleeps [family dog].
me: gee, thanks. I can't wait.
her: and you have to give him lots of attention
me: I think I can do that [insert girlie squealing here]
her: Oh so you are gonna kiiiiss him?
me: what do you think?
her: well... ...
me: well what?
her: you'd have to tie him to the bed first
me: [mortified.. what just came out of her mouth?] WHAT!? that is a sentence that will never come out of your mouth again.
her: why? if you tied him to a chair he'd still run away.
me: [in an attempt to segway away from a statement meant in innocence but still downright scary] what, you think he'd run away from me if I tried to kiss him?
her: well ...
me: well what?
her: [muffled statement]
me: spit it out, you've already unlocked pandora's box, might as well open that bad boy
her: promise you won't get mad [giggling]
me: promise.. what, cause I'm fat?
her: you'd have to wax your moustache
me: Ugh, you're terrible... so if I waxed my moustache, THEN would he still try to run away
her: well... you'd have to bleach and straighten your teeth
me: then will he run away?
her: well, then you'd have to straighten your hair and dye it a normal color
me: then will he run away
her: then you'd have to chop off your feet and somehow transplant Taylor swift's feet on your ankles... but you'd have to steal her feet before you cut off your own, otherwise it won't work)
me: Now what's wrong with my feet?
her: they're weird, you're an adult and we wear the same size shoes, and your big toes, sometimes I imagine they have eyes and they're staring at me.
me: okay, so I've fixed the moustache teeth hair and feet, THEN would he run away
her: oh wait, isn't he like really old now?
me: yeah, so
her: then no, he wouldn't run away, he'd break a hip... ew mom, way to rob the nursing home!
I can not express to you how much I LOVE my kid.
