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Am I fun to tickle?

I don’t know that I remember where I was or how old I was when I first knew that I liked tickling more than most people. I just remember always feeling like I had a secret.

I’ve kept that secret almost entirely. The only person I’ve ever really been open with about it is my wife. I do remember where I was when I told her.

To her credit, she’s always accepted that part of me. We’ve had sessions over the years, just not as many as I would like.

I think from her perspective, it must be difficult to understand how often I need it.

From my perspective, tickling is an element of my life that I need to experience more. I’ve tried to shut it out at times, or rid myself of its allure, but I always land on how much I love it. I think in a perfect world, I would experience part of it every day.

Over time, I’ve really dialed back on being a ler. Don’t get me wrong, I miss it. I miss the feeling of tactile fingers on skin, the sounds of ticklish, laughter, or the faces and movements that a lee makes.

But I know that being tickled is hard for my wife, so I have felt a bit odd pushing that boundary, even if it is very rarely.

As a result, I have leaned more into my Lee side. I have discovered my own ticklishness, and what I like in a session. I thought that being submissive would also lead to more sessions because I was the one being tickled, so maybe it would be easier for my wife to want to participate.

Unfortunately, it feels like the frequency of our sessions has really dwindled, and I’ve been thinking about why that might be.

I do think it’s difficult for any partner to partake in a fetish at the level in which the person that has that fetish would like. Inherently, there is a difference in mental make up between those two types of people, and it might be difficult to bridge that gap from time to time.

I think where I get stuck is wondering whether or not tickling me is fun.

Sometimes I think that if I were female, I might get tickled more, but I honestly have nothing to base that on. I’m strong in both physicality and mentality, so I don’t know if maybe seeing me as submissive might be a weird feeling. Maybe that doesn’t exude either confidence in a physical relationship or perhaps this isn’t a quality easily lent to soft and playful touch.

I don’t laugh when I’m tickled. This has been somewhat debated, as my wife has said that I do let out a laugh every once in a while.

What’s not up for debate is that I do have reactions. I get physically turned on when I’m tickled.

When my knees are tickled, I pull them together, as if it might help. When my under arms are tickled, I take a little slow breaths to keep my Zen.

When my tummy is tickled, I wiggle and arch and breathe deeply.

Sometimes, I picture what I might look like during a session, and I think about what I would see if I were the Ler.

I think I would love tickling someone like me. It would be a challenge to see if I could work out a laugh. It would be sublime to poke around such a delicately sensitive tummy. It would be thrilling to find a new method or spot.

But our sessions have dwindled. I think my wife entertains my fetish because she loves me obviously, but I don’t think she enjoys tickling me the way that I would hope.

I guess I always thought that somewhere along the way, I would be at peace with my fetish, or that I would be exploring it more regularly, but that hasn’t quite happened.

It makes me wonder if I am fun to tickle or not. I think I’m objectively, attractive, but I do second-guess my confidence knowing that the only reason we might have a session is because I’ve asked.

I kind of wish she would say that she wants to have a session because she loves my reactions, or it’s fun to tickle me, or she wants to find a new spot, or any number of things really.

This fetish is a roller coaster for me. I love it so much, but it does have some lows.

I find so frequently that I miss the feeling of tickling someone in the connection that it brings through the experience, and that feeling might be second only to being tickled, and feeling like somebody wants to tickle me completely.

Comments

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. 🙁
It sounds like she was a wonderful friend and I hope you take comfort in knowing you made the right decision. When you love and care about someone, pets included, you don't want to see them suffer and you put their needs above your own. I can relate to losing an animal and having to put him down. It sucks. 🙁
 
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Thank you, Angel. It's not easy, no. But we do take solace in doing the right thing.
 
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I am so, SO sorry! 🙁 I know just how hard it is to lose a pet, but at least now she's not in pain anymore. :console:
 
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Aww, my condolences to you, Mona. :console: But that really was the most gracious thing you could have done for her in that circumstance. The best thing you can do now is to just treasure the good times you shared with her and the wounds will heal in time. :redheart:
 
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I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your companion.
I have a cat as well and he is a much closer friend than most people and I treat him like a child. Don't have a clue how I would deal with the loss. Ironically enough, I too have been recently diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, so I can sympathize with you. Hope you get to feeling better soon!
 
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des, <br>
You've had more than your fair share and variety of pain lately.<br>
I know how acutely you feel Jasmine's loss. Cats can be such good companions that any pain they feel becomes our pain. And there are simply limits to how much the both of you could have borne. What you decided was generous and necessary, so go easy on yourself, please.<br> This is especially important with your own physical distress. You can't combat this internal trouble if you're beating yourself up over a perfectly humane decision.<br>
So, rest, don't work too hard, and be well, Doc. You're important to us.
 
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Thank you, my friend. You bring solace to a weary heart. I'm so blessed to have so many caring people in my life!
 
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MindOverWhatMatters
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