I'm Honestly Sick to My Stomach!

That’s awful, sorry you and others have had to deal with that

Infuriating. Very sorry that happened to you.

Nothing happened to me.

I just think when someone expresses discriminatory viewpoints/ opinions as facts it doesn't just harm those communities, it poses a threat to the entire community.

Ignorance isn't an excuse. Being a part of said community or a person's proximity to that community isn't an excuse. We should be better, but unfortunately, we are not. STILL!

And whether it impacts me directly or not, I'm going to speak out against bigotry, racism, discrimination every single time.

Wild generalizations and stereotypes like this that target whole groups of people are wildly problematic:

"I don't think a female ler could be fully trusted, especially if she's bi or gay. Too easy for some dude to recruit her to side with him in exchange for some voyeurism, or even joining in."

On a post that turned into how to create a safe space for women, why women are leaving this site (and others), and how to keep women safe, this is the ANTITHESIS of that. It is more of the same. It's more of what we already get from men. And if the a person feels that way about themselves, then those thoughts should be centered around THEMSELVES rather than being deflected upon an entire group of people.

On the subject of racism here on the forum, just because you (collective) are not directly impacted by it, maybe not use your voice to interject how you don't even bother thinking about it especially after someone is opening up about how it has been a problem they are constantly battling here.

April 6, 2025, I (and many others) sent Jeff emails as a person typed messages with the words NIGGER and NIGGER LOVERS in all caps for about 25 minutes. Over and over and over again. That was barely a month ago. But you know.... it's easy to ignore what a person has to deal with every day when it doesn't impact you. Many have the privilege of not having to think about it at all.

And if you can so easily admit that you don't think about in any context that includes any type of light-hearted, flippant, unserious remarks... how can you possibly care what makes anyone feel unsafe? How? You basically normalize the feelings that if it doesn't impact you, it doesn't exist. And that's just as damaging as the "I am color-blind" argument. Just because you close your eyes or ignore something doesn't mean it isn't a problem or that it isn't dangerous. "Bystander-ism" has NEVER improved any community!

Not one other person made a comment disagreeing or correcting or anything except for me. And I guarantee you, someone else thought, "What a minute! That's not right! That's offensive and bigoted!" but they won't say it. Not their problem, right? It's much more comfortable to say, "Sunrise is offended." rather than those viewpoints are damaging to women, the forum, and the community.

Saying a female ler cannot be trusted makes this space unsafe for WOMEN! Saying that bi and gay women cannot be trusted makes this space unsafe for WOMEN!

Sometimes I go back and forth and push back on bigotry like this, but when someone is committed to it, embraces it, laughs about it, doubles down on it, sometimes I wonder if anyone else see's it for what it really is.No? Silence? Of course....

And the community continues- Steeped in misogyny! This time perpetuated by women pretending to help women.

G R O S S

Calling out bigotry and misogyny and flat out hatred is worth doing. Good on you for doing it, and committing to doing it. I need to commit to doing the same.