Today, when we were out to lunch, my mom let me have it, big time, and I likely deserved her wraith.
She talked about getting "no encouragement from anyone. The doctors, or me." She talked about how my father is just "sitting back, waiting for her to die, so he and his wife can live better off her alimony check". The part about my father is likely very true. Mom talked today about feeling like she should just "give up, and make a reservation for the cemetery plot".
I love my mom to the ends of the earth. Every night, before bed, and several other times a day, I say prayers, out loud, to God, for her successful treatment and full recovery. I have two problems, though.
One, is just what my mom said. The doctors have not been encouraging, at all. I dont recall if I posted earlier in the week how during my BP visit on Monday, our family doctor said to mom. "You have to be realistic, Sheila". When she pressed the Dr, asking him if she was going to die, and the Dr said: "No, I'm not saying that, no one can predict".
Second, I can be a negative person by nature. Part of it has to do with much of the failures in my own life, in business, and personally. Many times, I've done businesses, being promised lots of money if I sell their products as an independent sales rep, only to be disappointed each time. I recently invested in a stock whose success was dependant on the FDA approving, ironically, an experimental cancer drug. This week, the FDA rejected the drug, and the stock is worthless. I've invested far too much time, and effort, in relationships, and people, who were not worthy of my caring and attention.
All I know I can do now is to try and take one day at a time, support mom, and hope and pray her treatment works. As for whatever negativity I have, due to the doctors, and my own personality, I'll need to try and change my thought processes, and, most important, not communicate negativity to my mom.
I know, take it one day at a time. The odd thing is, I've lived life that way for over 20 years, as many of my hopes and dreams didnt work out. Now, when I really need to be that way, for my mom, and the treatment process for her, my mind is racing. I know I must keep her in the frame of mind to fight this, and not give up. If I keep coming across in "This is hopeless" mode to mom, that will be extremely destructive, and that's the last thing I want.
Mitch
She talked about getting "no encouragement from anyone. The doctors, or me." She talked about how my father is just "sitting back, waiting for her to die, so he and his wife can live better off her alimony check". The part about my father is likely very true. Mom talked today about feeling like she should just "give up, and make a reservation for the cemetery plot".
I love my mom to the ends of the earth. Every night, before bed, and several other times a day, I say prayers, out loud, to God, for her successful treatment and full recovery. I have two problems, though.
One, is just what my mom said. The doctors have not been encouraging, at all. I dont recall if I posted earlier in the week how during my BP visit on Monday, our family doctor said to mom. "You have to be realistic, Sheila". When she pressed the Dr, asking him if she was going to die, and the Dr said: "No, I'm not saying that, no one can predict".
Second, I can be a negative person by nature. Part of it has to do with much of the failures in my own life, in business, and personally. Many times, I've done businesses, being promised lots of money if I sell their products as an independent sales rep, only to be disappointed each time. I recently invested in a stock whose success was dependant on the FDA approving, ironically, an experimental cancer drug. This week, the FDA rejected the drug, and the stock is worthless. I've invested far too much time, and effort, in relationships, and people, who were not worthy of my caring and attention.
All I know I can do now is to try and take one day at a time, support mom, and hope and pray her treatment works. As for whatever negativity I have, due to the doctors, and my own personality, I'll need to try and change my thought processes, and, most important, not communicate negativity to my mom.
I know, take it one day at a time. The odd thing is, I've lived life that way for over 20 years, as many of my hopes and dreams didnt work out. Now, when I really need to be that way, for my mom, and the treatment process for her, my mind is racing. I know I must keep her in the frame of mind to fight this, and not give up. If I keep coming across in "This is hopeless" mode to mom, that will be extremely destructive, and that's the last thing I want.
Mitch
