Since I started going to gatherings, regardless of how social I get, I've always felt a distinct sense of alienation from those around me. Maybe it's not just gatherings. Maybe it's just how I relate to the rest of humanity, but I digress. That feeling has rarely left for any single gathering I have ever attended. With only a few exceptions, I've had an internal sense of lacking when it comes to connecting with others at the party. I've always had acquaintances, but people that I could really relate to were something of a rarity.
It's been a consistant, inherent knowledge in the back of my mind throughout life. Every relationship with every group of friends I've ever had has ultimately fallen apart. It's had me wondering about many things; about myself, others and the human condition.
The tickling community has been no different, especially in the last two years. I've found myself having less and less to look forward to with each passing gathering. At times, I was unable to function at certain gatherings, which was noticable to those who've met me before. It culminated at Albany this past January. The general feeling I was getting from people I'd known for more than a year resonated with one simple message: "You're not welcome here." If you'd asked me that first night, I would have told you that Albany was my last gathering.
Thank you, NEST 2010, for proving me wrong and for reaffirming my faith in this community. I needed it more than you'll ever know.
It's been a consistant, inherent knowledge in the back of my mind throughout life. Every relationship with every group of friends I've ever had has ultimately fallen apart. It's had me wondering about many things; about myself, others and the human condition.
The tickling community has been no different, especially in the last two years. I've found myself having less and less to look forward to with each passing gathering. At times, I was unable to function at certain gatherings, which was noticable to those who've met me before. It culminated at Albany this past January. The general feeling I was getting from people I'd known for more than a year resonated with one simple message: "You're not welcome here." If you'd asked me that first night, I would have told you that Albany was my last gathering.
Thank you, NEST 2010, for proving me wrong and for reaffirming my faith in this community. I needed it more than you'll ever know.
