Fresh.

So last night I did a lot of thinking. Put everything on a self with to be dealt with later since in all honesty the shit I'm dealing with was not my decision. Things have been strange here lately. It certainly isn't the same as it was a few months ago. Josh is more like a roommate.. a roommate I happen to be fucking. Ha. Part of me is terrified of what is going to happen, but at the same time I'm at peace with it. It's not the end of the world. Not in the least bit.

I mean it's not like I wasn't upset when he told me that he wasn't sure he wanted to be with me anymore, It's just that there is no way to change someone's mind once it's made up. Especially when they evaluate everything that's happened in the relationship not just the last few months.

Even though he is mainly at fault. That's besides the point.

Music has always been something I've used to make decisions, as stupid as that sounds, it's true. It's like what I feel I can't comprehend until I hear it as lyrics and set to a beat. In a way, it's good because then I can use that musical extension as an outlet.


So, I went tanning today and heard this song that really put it in an outsider perspective.. Which is exactly what I needed and was exactly what everyone was trying to get me to see.


<3