I found the following quote in a thread concerning peoples' feelings about their first NEST experience.
In the interests of not derailing the thread with my reply, I'm posting it here instead. I hope I'm able to help soothe any and all worries for at least one or two people who might otherwise be waffling about their first (or second) NEST.
Despite the warmth and the welcome, I held back and hesitated, and clung to certain people I already knew who wanted, very much so, to be able to enjoy their time at NEST for their own sakes, without having to enjoy it for mine as well. It is a credit to their largely thankless patience and understanding that I wasn't simply sent packing. I hovered around the fringes of the ongoing festivities, being very much the awkward (and, thus, awkwardness-spreading) observer that I had promised myself I would not be, and in the process I missed several important points: there were people who enjoyed my company, I made a number of friends who remain to this day quite sincere about wanting to see me at NEST again, and I probably could've gotten involved with almost any of the much-derided "cliques" had I simply chilled out and tried to enjoy the company of everybody else instead of waiting for them to miraculously enjoy mine (and, even then, some did just that).
Despite everything I let myself (not) do, I still had a good time overall, I've got some fun and interesting memories (cheesesteak, anyone?) and I'm looking forward to attending again in a few weeks. This time, I'm simply going to try to loosen up and enjoy myself; I'm not going alone, which is a plus, but I've also allowed myself to realize and accept that there are people who are going to be there who are truly looking forward to seeing me... even some who've never seen me before. They don't make'em much more socially inept, awkward, or uncertain than me to begin with, and when you throw in the fact that I'm at this "public" event due to a sexual fetish, well...
Trust me. If I can have a blast at NEST (as I have at a couple of smaller gatherings since then), so can you
A few suggestions, if you're honestly nervous about your first (or second) time...
1. Get involved. Shake hands. Shake feet? Meet people. Talk. Hug; there are enough hugs going around to give a boa constrictor a hernia. There's honestly no need to feel awkward or left out; we're all there for a shared passion, and I really do believe that, collectively, we're one of the most open-minded groups around. If you walk calmly into a "circle," (don't hold back; don't throw yourself in with crazy abandon, either) your company will most likely be sincerely appreciated.
2. Don't drink. Alcohol is not a good social catalyst, especially if you're already nervous. I drank a fair amount during my weekend; it led to some amusing situations, and to some not quite so amusing. I didn't forget anything; I never got drunk, or quite so "wasted" as I let myself appear (once or twice) for the sake of amusement (that you-know-what was all Avenger's fault!), but in retrospect I think I would've had a much better time if I'd simply left the beer (and the rum, and the vodka) alone and simply tried to be myself.
3. Be honest. If a "normie" in an elevator with you asks what NEST is all about, don't hop off at the next stop and leave the other NEST attendee in the elevator with you to explain it to them (I'm so very, very sorry). As several people have already pointed out, we're far from the weirdest bunch that the hotel will have ever seen, and there have been a number of converts made over the last few years.
4. Action happens; don't act like there's no way you could possibly wind up "having fun," but don't push it either. The party is a social event more than it is anything else; the rest is up to individuals who are, in all likelihood, as expectant of "having fun" as you are. Let it flow, and the opportunity will be there (again, and again, and again...).
In the interests of not derailing the thread with my reply, I'm posting it here instead. I hope I'm able to help soothe any and all worries for at least one or two people who might otherwise be waffling about their first (or second) NEST.
I can second that r/e my first experience, and I've complained about how clique-ish NEST is as much as anybody else has (quite possibly as much as everybody else has... combined...) but, by the same token, there were many people who went out of their way to see that I felt welcome. Venray, Bella and LeeAllure couldn't have done much more in that area, short of dancing around outside my hotel room window in bright neon leotards with my name flashing on LED signs (don't get any ideas, Ven).taptoematt said:
Despite the warmth and the welcome, I held back and hesitated, and clung to certain people I already knew who wanted, very much so, to be able to enjoy their time at NEST for their own sakes, without having to enjoy it for mine as well. It is a credit to their largely thankless patience and understanding that I wasn't simply sent packing. I hovered around the fringes of the ongoing festivities, being very much the awkward (and, thus, awkwardness-spreading) observer that I had promised myself I would not be, and in the process I missed several important points: there were people who enjoyed my company, I made a number of friends who remain to this day quite sincere about wanting to see me at NEST again, and I probably could've gotten involved with almost any of the much-derided "cliques" had I simply chilled out and tried to enjoy the company of everybody else instead of waiting for them to miraculously enjoy mine (and, even then, some did just that).
Despite everything I let myself (not) do, I still had a good time overall, I've got some fun and interesting memories (cheesesteak, anyone?) and I'm looking forward to attending again in a few weeks. This time, I'm simply going to try to loosen up and enjoy myself; I'm not going alone, which is a plus, but I've also allowed myself to realize and accept that there are people who are going to be there who are truly looking forward to seeing me... even some who've never seen me before. They don't make'em much more socially inept, awkward, or uncertain than me to begin with, and when you throw in the fact that I'm at this "public" event due to a sexual fetish, well...
Trust me. If I can have a blast at NEST (as I have at a couple of smaller gatherings since then), so can you
A few suggestions, if you're honestly nervous about your first (or second) time...
1. Get involved. Shake hands. Shake feet? Meet people. Talk. Hug; there are enough hugs going around to give a boa constrictor a hernia. There's honestly no need to feel awkward or left out; we're all there for a shared passion, and I really do believe that, collectively, we're one of the most open-minded groups around. If you walk calmly into a "circle," (don't hold back; don't throw yourself in with crazy abandon, either) your company will most likely be sincerely appreciated.
2. Don't drink. Alcohol is not a good social catalyst, especially if you're already nervous. I drank a fair amount during my weekend; it led to some amusing situations, and to some not quite so amusing. I didn't forget anything; I never got drunk, or quite so "wasted" as I let myself appear (once or twice) for the sake of amusement (that you-know-what was all Avenger's fault!), but in retrospect I think I would've had a much better time if I'd simply left the beer (and the rum, and the vodka) alone and simply tried to be myself.
3. Be honest. If a "normie" in an elevator with you asks what NEST is all about, don't hop off at the next stop and leave the other NEST attendee in the elevator with you to explain it to them (I'm so very, very sorry). As several people have already pointed out, we're far from the weirdest bunch that the hotel will have ever seen, and there have been a number of converts made over the last few years.
4. Action happens; don't act like there's no way you could possibly wind up "having fun," but don't push it either. The party is a social event more than it is anything else; the rest is up to individuals who are, in all likelihood, as expectant of "having fun" as you are. Let it flow, and the opportunity will be there (again, and again, and again...).
