Proceed at your own risk; offensive language and general anger abounds 
Every time I hang up the phone after speaking with my mother I swear to myself that I will never speak with that woman again 😡 She calls me every week and I always know where the conversation is headed, regardless of how much effort I use to divert it. I've been purposely letting her calls go to voice mail for the past month. Pretty bad of me, huh? Such the loving, fucking daughter that I am, right? That just of course made things worse. I knew it would. I knew I had to face her, she is my mother, after all. I take her call, and I have to listen to the "why don't I call her" bullshit, or the "where the fuck have you been for the last month". She really didn't say "Where the fuck". I added it, not really sure why in hindsight. I won't take it out because it's already there. Okay... I added it because I'm fucking pissed off! I hope you're fucking satisfied.
We've been at odds for twelve plus years now (over what is irrelevant in this context). That's why I have to put up with 45 minutes of bitching every time she calls me (plus add 15 minutes for avoiding her this last time around). I've thought about changing my phone number. I probably shouldn't do that. I've thought about moving, but my last move added contention between us. We don't need more gasoline on the fire, right?
I broke a vase. I threw it against the wall after I hung up with her. That stuff only happens on television or the movies, right? Nope! I threw it nice and hard, and almost took out two pictures hanging on the wall. Do you know that it didn't all break into little pieces. There were three that were quite large. I would have thought it would have broken up more. There were many little ones. I had to vacuum them up. I hope that I got them all. I'd hate to step on one in the middle of the night. That would ruin my day (or my night).
It was a nice vase, too. I found it at a flea market outside of San Francisco several years ago. It had a really nice design of a dragon on the side. I paid five dollars for it. I almost didn't buy it, as there was a tiny chip on the rim. None of the big pieces had any of the dragon on them. I wonder why? I bought it to keep flowers in (of course, what else do you buy a vase for?). A guy bought me a bouquet of white roses about a year ago, those were the last flowers that I had put into the vase. I wasn't going to accept the flowers when they were delivered as I knew who they were from. But they were so pretty, and their scent was so beautiful, so I ended up keeping them. They looked really beautiful in the vase. I kept them on a desk next to a window, and they lasted for several days. I didn't want to throw them away. That would mean I'd have to empty the vase, and there wouldn't be anything in it. I finally did, and it stayed empty. If there had been flowers in it, I don't think I would have thrown it.
I didn't read the card that came with the flowers until I threw them out. I was almost going to throw the card out along with them unread, but I didn't. I left it on my kitchen table and ignored it for another day before I opened it and read it. It was really a short message (and again irrelevant in this conversation), and I pretty much knew before reading it what he was going to say. Isn't it funny that some people you just know like that. He has nice handwriting, too. I wish I could write as clear and legible as he does.
I don't hate my mother. Someone once accused me of that. I had to think about it. I think that at this stage of my life I don't hate her, but I just don't particularly like her. Is that the same? Is not liking someone akin to hating them? Especially if it's a parent? We were actually quite close as I was growing up, doing all sorts of motherly/daughterly things. She spent a week in the hospital after I was born, she was very sick at the time. I guess you could say that I've given her grief since I was born. I guess I tried to make up for it after that. I thought I was doing pretty good, though there were always those bumps in the road that strain the parent/child relationship. Some bumps are bigger than others.
Every time I hang up the phone after speaking with my mother I swear to myself that I will never speak with that woman again 😡 She calls me every week and I always know where the conversation is headed, regardless of how much effort I use to divert it. I've been purposely letting her calls go to voice mail for the past month. Pretty bad of me, huh? Such the loving, fucking daughter that I am, right? That just of course made things worse. I knew it would. I knew I had to face her, she is my mother, after all. I take her call, and I have to listen to the "why don't I call her" bullshit, or the "where the fuck have you been for the last month". She really didn't say "Where the fuck". I added it, not really sure why in hindsight. I won't take it out because it's already there. Okay... I added it because I'm fucking pissed off! I hope you're fucking satisfied.
We've been at odds for twelve plus years now (over what is irrelevant in this context). That's why I have to put up with 45 minutes of bitching every time she calls me (plus add 15 minutes for avoiding her this last time around). I've thought about changing my phone number. I probably shouldn't do that. I've thought about moving, but my last move added contention between us. We don't need more gasoline on the fire, right?
I broke a vase. I threw it against the wall after I hung up with her. That stuff only happens on television or the movies, right? Nope! I threw it nice and hard, and almost took out two pictures hanging on the wall. Do you know that it didn't all break into little pieces. There were three that were quite large. I would have thought it would have broken up more. There were many little ones. I had to vacuum them up. I hope that I got them all. I'd hate to step on one in the middle of the night. That would ruin my day (or my night).
It was a nice vase, too. I found it at a flea market outside of San Francisco several years ago. It had a really nice design of a dragon on the side. I paid five dollars for it. I almost didn't buy it, as there was a tiny chip on the rim. None of the big pieces had any of the dragon on them. I wonder why? I bought it to keep flowers in (of course, what else do you buy a vase for?). A guy bought me a bouquet of white roses about a year ago, those were the last flowers that I had put into the vase. I wasn't going to accept the flowers when they were delivered as I knew who they were from. But they were so pretty, and their scent was so beautiful, so I ended up keeping them. They looked really beautiful in the vase. I kept them on a desk next to a window, and they lasted for several days. I didn't want to throw them away. That would mean I'd have to empty the vase, and there wouldn't be anything in it. I finally did, and it stayed empty. If there had been flowers in it, I don't think I would have thrown it.
I didn't read the card that came with the flowers until I threw them out. I was almost going to throw the card out along with them unread, but I didn't. I left it on my kitchen table and ignored it for another day before I opened it and read it. It was really a short message (and again irrelevant in this conversation), and I pretty much knew before reading it what he was going to say. Isn't it funny that some people you just know like that. He has nice handwriting, too. I wish I could write as clear and legible as he does.
I don't hate my mother. Someone once accused me of that. I had to think about it. I think that at this stage of my life I don't hate her, but I just don't particularly like her. Is that the same? Is not liking someone akin to hating them? Especially if it's a parent? We were actually quite close as I was growing up, doing all sorts of motherly/daughterly things. She spent a week in the hospital after I was born, she was very sick at the time. I guess you could say that I've given her grief since I was born. I guess I tried to make up for it after that. I thought I was doing pretty good, though there were always those bumps in the road that strain the parent/child relationship. Some bumps are bigger than others.
