I know people have said I'm not strange, but I kept secretly wishing that if I kept being tickled I would eventually laugh. I really wanted to laugh. I've had at least close to ten sessions and I still haven't gotten the laughter I wanted. It drives me nuts and confuses me. I am ticklish, but it is as if my laughing mechanism is gone while I'm being tickled. People have tired so hard to get me to laugh that I have almost been driven to the point of madness because of it. I've decided I might as well give up and admit defeat. I'm destined to be silent. It does depress me sometimes. Clips don't help at all. I know most of the models are faking, but still I feel some of their laughter is real. It is hard for me to watch f/f or m/f clips now because I get depressed and jealous. I hated it when I posted my clip and people said I wasn't ticklish. I have been tickled by people I felt really comfortable with and I was still silent, so I know it wasn't me being nervous or uncomfortable. I try to tell myself my reactions are special and some did comment on my clip that my reactions are sexy. That only really helps me feel slightly better. I hope someday I'll be able to accept who I am be happy with my reactions. Please don't get confused I'm not saying I don't enjoy be tickled, I am saying I hate how I react.