im drunky

Well your friend was 16 when his mom passed away, so clearly that makes it a bit more traumatic since he was just a kid still. Maybe you didn't get to say goodbye to your mom, but at least she lived a long life and she was around for you for a very long time. Don't feel like you have to compare yourself to your friend, because these are two entirely different scenarios.

You still think about your mother, don't you? I don't think whether or not you remember her birthday 5 years after she passed away is a good measurement of how much you love her. Don't worry about it. 🙂

Forgetting a date and forgetting a person are two very different things. I know you Brent, and you will NEVER forget about your mom. She was so special to you, and her memory will always be there. You have a busy life and alot of things going on, so you're naturally going to have at the forefront of your mind the things that are urgent, time sensitive or need immediate attention. and to be frank, there's no physical reason to remember her birthday. You're not going to go buy her a gift or a card or give her a call and say Happy Birthday Mom. And you're not going to easily recall how old she'd be, because in your mind she's always going to be the age she was when she died.

And there is absolutely nothing wrong with any of that. I think it's natural and to be expected. If it bothers you, I would suggest putting important dates in your mom's life on a calendar to help keep them at the forefront of your mind. 🙂 Shit I do that with my entire family and best friends, because you know me - I forget everything 😛 But trust me, forgetting does NOT mean you don't care.

I also believe it to be acceptance, not forgetting. You are a great man Brent, and an even better friend. You miss your mom and she misses you man, and that's the way it is. I know it may not seem it from your perspective but you have ALWAYS spoke of your mom with respect and of how much you miss her even before I knew you. She's always been with you and always will.

Natural process and a part of life, my friend. Not great at the sentimental angle myself, so this is my thinking: If all these little details stuck with us, we'd be reminded at every streetcorner and truckstop of something else. We would never be able to live for now, which is how life is best lived.

This year marks the second anniversary of my own mother's passing, and the tenth of my best friend. I've never been good at dates, so while I was a bit disappointed that I didn't remember these things on the specific days that they happened, I was kind of unsurprised, but I was far more comforted by the influence I feel each has had in shaping my character over the years, even beyond the limit of their lives.

Dates and numbers don't matter, my friend. Those sorts of legacies do. Be at peace.

Put in the perspectives of all of you, it seems to make more sense. While I'm still not totally comfortable with it, you've all given me a better understanding and I thank you all for that.

I'm glad I got people like you to help me keep my head on straight. No one could ask for better friends.