It never ends

There are days...
I just can't think about anything anything else!
I lay awake in bed, not even touching my myself.
But the thoughts, the fantasies are so intense!
And it doesn't make any sense, so inhumane...
The rules are impossible, the tortures, the things that happens.
And they are never get hurt, no marks, no mental destruction,
that is so unreal! No one can survive such torture, not mentally...
And yet they do. Night after night, they laugh to insanity and beyond.
Just to be recovered by some medical/technologica "magic".
Am I even human?!
I'll never do that to anyone in reality, even if I could...
But maybe it's just a lame excuse to allow myself...

I make them cry, just so I can force them to laugh.

This is one of those days,
I am there right now,
In that imaginary world...
I just sit there,
being pleasured,
As the "horrors of laughter" are presented just for me.