Lees Say the Craziest Things

I love the desperate reactions of a woman being tickled silly. Sometimes it’s all just laughter and squeals, which I’ll enthusiastically take any day, but sometimes particularly ticklish lees seem to go crazy with wild expressions or exclamations that catch me (and often them) so off guard in the funniest ways. I’m starting to be convinced that some women I’ve tickled have a built-in defense mechanism where they say something or do something so ridiculous at the peak of ticklish agony that it almost disables the tickler with how funny it is. My wife is very much that way. I thought I would take a moment to write out a few examples of what I’m talking about:

• What made me even think of this in the first place was just a day or two ago I walked into our bedroom to grab something and I noticed my wife had just gotten out of the shower. She was part-way through putting her clothes on. I had startled her, and in her nervous state I started pinching at her hips. She started dancing around trying to shake me off, moving in all kinds of contorted positions while standing. When she realized she wasn’t getting free, she started to panic and yelled, “No! No don’t! NO! NO! I’M GOING TO EAT MY BACK!” I’m sure she meant to say “hurt my back,” but that wasn’t what came out and I started laughing so hard I couldn’t continue.
• I don’t remember exactly when this was, but I remember on a day where my wife was extra ticklish, I was holding her down and tickling her silly. It was one of those times where she was so ticklish that she surprised herself. When I caught her off guard too many times in a row, the panic set in and She would burst out with screams and violent threats, which made me stop for a moment to check on her. Upon my stopping, she immediately apologized. I started tickling again and she immediately resumed freaking out and threatening me. It was like a total animalistic survival reflex was taking her over. I did the start and stop thing several more times which had her alternating between those two expressions. Something like, “Oh, no, wait! That really—ah ha! DAMN YOU, MOTHERFUCKER, I CAN’T! I’m going to BITE YOU!…I’m so sorry! I love you!…DAMN iT, I swear I’M REALLY GOING TO HURT YOU!…Oh god, I’m seriously sorry, I…DAMN YOU, ASSHOLE, I’M GOING TO HURT YOU IN YOUR STUPID FACE!…Baby, I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean that!” After several of those back and forths, I was laughing too hard to continue tickling her and she escaped yelling “I’m sorry” as she ran down the hallway.
• When moving across the country, we had to temporarily live in a very small tightly packed town about an hour from our eventual target city. This was largely due to the big housing shortage in that target location. So for almost a year, we lived in a tiny rental unit in that small town. While insulated enough, it somehow seemed to project sound like there weren’t even walls. Even so, all the people in the community were friendly people who started to recognize us as the nice quiet people who lived in that unit. . I would tickle my wife at night, but I was always a little careful and self-conscious. One night I got a bit more brave about it and tickled her more aggressively. I don’t remember what exactly, but at one point she did something to provoke me to tickle her much harder and she started wrestling to get free. I spun her onto her stomach on the bed and pinched rapidly on her lower butt /upper thigh. This usually tickles her a lot, but this time, because she was already frantic, she panicked and yelled the loudest yell I’ve probably heard to this day, “NOOOOO! MY AAAAAASSSSSS!” We both froze instantly and it got really quiet. It was never that quiet. It felt like time froze and captured all sound, except the distant car alarm that I’m sure her scream triggered. She turned around and just sat there with her hand over her mouth in that “oh no” kind of way. We burst out into laughter and couldn’t stop for several minutes. But yikes, were we motivated to move out quickly after that!

Tickling brings out the sexiest, most adorable, and playful sides of people. But sometimes it also brings out the quirkiest and funniest ones as well. If you have any real-world examples of this kind of thing you’ve actually encountered, I’d love to hear them. Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts and for anything you share of your own.

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