It sounds completely sick, but, it is 100% true. The day of my mom's cancer diagnosis, was the happiest day of my father's life.
Simply put, my father is a monster. Even though he provided a high lifestyle for us when we lived in CT, he was extremely verbally abusive, and controlling to my mother and me, subjecting us to severe emotional abuse from not only himself, but also his family.
When the seperation happened in 1989, he called me up at my college dorm room, to blackmail me into having my mom sign an alimony agreement, saying that if she didn't, he would put her in the street. My mom complied, and two months later, he violated the agreement, and did not pay for four months. The court, instead of penalizing him for his actions, rewarded him with a reduction in alimony, because, the judge heard my father was in "Bankruptcy", ommitting the fact that he was living in a $2000 a month NYC apt, A $7500 a month NYC office, and wining and dining women all over.
In 1991, at the divorce trial,the judge who heard the case did not like my father. Due to the fact that my father was in Bankruptcy, my mom asked for a reasonable alimony, figuring she could go for an increase later on. My mom and I asked my father to settle out of court, but he refused, making it necessary for me to testify against him at trial.
In 1994, my mom went to court to ask for more money. The judge who heard the case was very bias, making statements to my mom like "You might have to have a comedown" without even hearing the evidence. Shortly thereafter in early 1995, my father at first sent the court a letter saying he was going to settle out of court, but then instead sent a blackmail letter to my mom saying she was going to "Suffer The Consequences" if she returned to court. This could have meant anything from a scope from putting her in the street by not paying alimony, to having both my mother and me killed, which he has threatened many times in the past.
In 1997, without provacation, when I needed my father to come through with money he owed my mom because of a problem I had, he again threatened me that if she tried to go to court, she would "Chase him for alimony". Years of his threats and blackmail boiled over, and I got so enraged, that I told him if he issued one more threat, I was going to beat the hell out of him! I didnt, but shortly after that, my contact with him ended for three years, because he failed to come through with the money he owed my mom, and lied to me about doing so, obtaining financial information to advantage himself.
In 2000, after I collapsed with what would be my first bout of high BP, and had to be taken to the hospital. My mom called him, feeling a three years estrangement was enough. I saw him for four years after, trying to have a relationship with him. For a while, without court order, he increased the money in my household, saying he had never given my mom an alimony increase anyway. When the business I worked on for three years, flopped in 2004, and I was piled with credit card bills, instead of offering a compromise to keep the money in the house, so my mom could cover bills, after not getting an alimony increase in 13 years, he took the money 100% away
When I went back with him last summer, I hadnt seen him in six years. One of the conversations he had with me in the first meetings, without provacation, was "If it wasnt for you, I would not have paid alimony". Another blackmail threat. I NEVER once asked him for any money, or to increase my mom's alimony. In the past eight months, I have taken no money from him, except a holiday and birthday gift he sent me.
With my mom's recent diagnosis, she is fearful of what will happen to me, as she aids me with money when I need it. My father will be tens of thousands of dollars financially advantaged, if heaven forbid my mom passes away. My mom prevailed upon him to take some or all of that money, to help me get on my feet. My father became enraged, saying he would "Not commit" to anything.
My undergraduate edcuation was paid by my father, because his ex business partner had leverage over my father, to help my father out of a potentially career ending problem he had. My father promised to pay for graduate school for me. I have such in writing from him. He never lived up to that promise, as long as he continued to live in outrageously expensive apartments with his wife.
My father did another very serious thing to me financially that I cant post about, which, if others knew about it, probably would make it that no one would want to deal with him. This is not counting the horrors that he did to my mom. Instead of showing any remorse for his actions, he always talks about how he could have "Done worse". By this I guess he means putting my mom in the gutter by not paying alimony, or, having her killed, like he once threatned in 1991, when he told her to go find a cemetary plot, which necessitated her to try and go to court for a restraining order, which the judge who heard the case did not grant, because he said the complaint by my mom was "heresay".
One other thing my father did: When he was in trouble in 1989, I loaned him a lot of money from my life savings, keeping 1-3 of it. The other 1-3 of the money was seized from an account I had with my mom, who was also responsible to pay for the mortgage, when my father defaulted on paying, resulting in my being penniless. When I called my father to ask him for a bit of money to survive, he shouted at me saying "How dare you ask me for money, Mitch. I'm fighting to survive!". This, mind you, as he was supporting an expensive apartment, an expensive office, women, and such.
Everything I'm writing in this blog is absolutely true. I would never post lies. In fact, there is one other part that is even more hideous, that I cant post about, for legal reasons.
In spite of all this, and his abuse of me in my childhood, I forgave him time and time again, and, as everyone knows, started seeing him again last summer. My close friends thought I was certifably insane, and, after the way he has behaved this week since my mom's illness, they were right. He has talked to me in cold, clipped tones this week, probably reveling in all the money he and his second wife will enjoy, if God Forbid my mom passes away. He is a hateful, cruel, evil man, and, if there is a hell, there is a special place for him in it.
Thanks to anyone who read this. It was painful to relive these memories, but, it does help to post about it, and its good that there are blogs, so I dont have to clog up the main forum.
Mitch
One other thing about my father: When he was being sued by a client in 1989, the client accused that oil and gas investments bought for my mom and me by my father were "Fraudulently transferred". Ridiculous, because, they were always in mom's and my name. When my father felt like being vicious, he would say things like "I'm going to send Bruce (The adversaral client) after you, to take your oil and gas, and everything you have, so you'll both have nothing. "
How I contained myself from punching this guy out, I dont know. I dont advocate physical violence, ever, but if anyone deserved it, he does. He just hasnt been worth the penalty I would receive if I did do so. I truly despise the man, and, regardless of what happens to my mom. Whether she please God lives, or even if heaven forbid she dies, I know I should never see him again. His wife and he would be greatly financially advantaged if my mom passes away, and all I can say if God forbid that happens, is that my father and his bitch shouldn't enjoy one penny of the money, and they should both burn in hell! My father is already living in a dwelling place costing five to ten times greater than my mom's, as he holds her under blackmail that he will put her in the street if she goes to court. What a true, cruel bastard!
I want to conclude by saying that every word I wrote in this blog is the 100% truth. I would never post lies about things as horrible as this. As I see my father;s actions this week, and think back to what he's done to my mom and me, I must have been certifiably insane to have seen him the last eight months. I know now, that, whatever happens, he and I should be estranged for the rest of his miserable fucking life!
One other part I forgot to post. In the early 1980s, he did an unethical thing to a client, causing a big lawsuit against him, and nearly the loss of his CPA license for unethical practices. After paying huge sums of money to the client to save his career, my mom saved his career by signing an agreement that the client wanted signed, before he let my father off the hook. After standing by her husband who was unethical, and trying to get him to get help to change his ways, which he didnt, which is why she left him, my mom's reward is to be blackmailed by my father not to go to court, and to have her life threatened.
Simply put, my father is a monster. Even though he provided a high lifestyle for us when we lived in CT, he was extremely verbally abusive, and controlling to my mother and me, subjecting us to severe emotional abuse from not only himself, but also his family.
When the seperation happened in 1989, he called me up at my college dorm room, to blackmail me into having my mom sign an alimony agreement, saying that if she didn't, he would put her in the street. My mom complied, and two months later, he violated the agreement, and did not pay for four months. The court, instead of penalizing him for his actions, rewarded him with a reduction in alimony, because, the judge heard my father was in "Bankruptcy", ommitting the fact that he was living in a $2000 a month NYC apt, A $7500 a month NYC office, and wining and dining women all over.
In 1991, at the divorce trial,the judge who heard the case did not like my father. Due to the fact that my father was in Bankruptcy, my mom asked for a reasonable alimony, figuring she could go for an increase later on. My mom and I asked my father to settle out of court, but he refused, making it necessary for me to testify against him at trial.
In 1994, my mom went to court to ask for more money. The judge who heard the case was very bias, making statements to my mom like "You might have to have a comedown" without even hearing the evidence. Shortly thereafter in early 1995, my father at first sent the court a letter saying he was going to settle out of court, but then instead sent a blackmail letter to my mom saying she was going to "Suffer The Consequences" if she returned to court. This could have meant anything from a scope from putting her in the street by not paying alimony, to having both my mother and me killed, which he has threatened many times in the past.
In 1997, without provacation, when I needed my father to come through with money he owed my mom because of a problem I had, he again threatened me that if she tried to go to court, she would "Chase him for alimony". Years of his threats and blackmail boiled over, and I got so enraged, that I told him if he issued one more threat, I was going to beat the hell out of him! I didnt, but shortly after that, my contact with him ended for three years, because he failed to come through with the money he owed my mom, and lied to me about doing so, obtaining financial information to advantage himself.
In 2000, after I collapsed with what would be my first bout of high BP, and had to be taken to the hospital. My mom called him, feeling a three years estrangement was enough. I saw him for four years after, trying to have a relationship with him. For a while, without court order, he increased the money in my household, saying he had never given my mom an alimony increase anyway. When the business I worked on for three years, flopped in 2004, and I was piled with credit card bills, instead of offering a compromise to keep the money in the house, so my mom could cover bills, after not getting an alimony increase in 13 years, he took the money 100% away
When I went back with him last summer, I hadnt seen him in six years. One of the conversations he had with me in the first meetings, without provacation, was "If it wasnt for you, I would not have paid alimony". Another blackmail threat. I NEVER once asked him for any money, or to increase my mom's alimony. In the past eight months, I have taken no money from him, except a holiday and birthday gift he sent me.
With my mom's recent diagnosis, she is fearful of what will happen to me, as she aids me with money when I need it. My father will be tens of thousands of dollars financially advantaged, if heaven forbid my mom passes away. My mom prevailed upon him to take some or all of that money, to help me get on my feet. My father became enraged, saying he would "Not commit" to anything.
My undergraduate edcuation was paid by my father, because his ex business partner had leverage over my father, to help my father out of a potentially career ending problem he had. My father promised to pay for graduate school for me. I have such in writing from him. He never lived up to that promise, as long as he continued to live in outrageously expensive apartments with his wife.
My father did another very serious thing to me financially that I cant post about, which, if others knew about it, probably would make it that no one would want to deal with him. This is not counting the horrors that he did to my mom. Instead of showing any remorse for his actions, he always talks about how he could have "Done worse". By this I guess he means putting my mom in the gutter by not paying alimony, or, having her killed, like he once threatned in 1991, when he told her to go find a cemetary plot, which necessitated her to try and go to court for a restraining order, which the judge who heard the case did not grant, because he said the complaint by my mom was "heresay".
One other thing my father did: When he was in trouble in 1989, I loaned him a lot of money from my life savings, keeping 1-3 of it. The other 1-3 of the money was seized from an account I had with my mom, who was also responsible to pay for the mortgage, when my father defaulted on paying, resulting in my being penniless. When I called my father to ask him for a bit of money to survive, he shouted at me saying "How dare you ask me for money, Mitch. I'm fighting to survive!". This, mind you, as he was supporting an expensive apartment, an expensive office, women, and such.
Everything I'm writing in this blog is absolutely true. I would never post lies. In fact, there is one other part that is even more hideous, that I cant post about, for legal reasons.
In spite of all this, and his abuse of me in my childhood, I forgave him time and time again, and, as everyone knows, started seeing him again last summer. My close friends thought I was certifably insane, and, after the way he has behaved this week since my mom's illness, they were right. He has talked to me in cold, clipped tones this week, probably reveling in all the money he and his second wife will enjoy, if God Forbid my mom passes away. He is a hateful, cruel, evil man, and, if there is a hell, there is a special place for him in it.
Thanks to anyone who read this. It was painful to relive these memories, but, it does help to post about it, and its good that there are blogs, so I dont have to clog up the main forum.
Mitch
One other thing about my father: When he was being sued by a client in 1989, the client accused that oil and gas investments bought for my mom and me by my father were "Fraudulently transferred". Ridiculous, because, they were always in mom's and my name. When my father felt like being vicious, he would say things like "I'm going to send Bruce (The adversaral client) after you, to take your oil and gas, and everything you have, so you'll both have nothing. "
How I contained myself from punching this guy out, I dont know. I dont advocate physical violence, ever, but if anyone deserved it, he does. He just hasnt been worth the penalty I would receive if I did do so. I truly despise the man, and, regardless of what happens to my mom. Whether she please God lives, or even if heaven forbid she dies, I know I should never see him again. His wife and he would be greatly financially advantaged if my mom passes away, and all I can say if God forbid that happens, is that my father and his bitch shouldn't enjoy one penny of the money, and they should both burn in hell! My father is already living in a dwelling place costing five to ten times greater than my mom's, as he holds her under blackmail that he will put her in the street if she goes to court. What a true, cruel bastard!
I want to conclude by saying that every word I wrote in this blog is the 100% truth. I would never post lies about things as horrible as this. As I see my father;s actions this week, and think back to what he's done to my mom and me, I must have been certifiably insane to have seen him the last eight months. I know now, that, whatever happens, he and I should be estranged for the rest of his miserable fucking life!
One other part I forgot to post. In the early 1980s, he did an unethical thing to a client, causing a big lawsuit against him, and nearly the loss of his CPA license for unethical practices. After paying huge sums of money to the client to save his career, my mom saved his career by signing an agreement that the client wanted signed, before he let my father off the hook. After standing by her husband who was unethical, and trying to get him to get help to change his ways, which he didnt, which is why she left him, my mom's reward is to be blackmailed by my father not to go to court, and to have her life threatened.
