Ok
First I would like to congratulate my Saints for their first SB victory. I was a very special moment for me and the only regret I have about last night is that my father wasn't here to see it. But he was with me in my heart, and I know he was proud of his boys too.
So, I have been doing a lot of thinking here lately about the next topic.
Why is it so hard for someone to give another person a second chance? I really do not understand this. And I am not talking about dating or a romantic relationship. I just mean in general. I feel like I am always seem to be giving people second, third, and fourth chances. Sometimes I get burnt. Sometimes I end up keeping friends that I would hate to not have now.
everyone has made mistakes in their lives. things that they did and things that happened when they werent in a good place to begin with. But people change. conditions change. Things that they realize in their life was wrong they changed in order to better themselves. People do learn from their mistakes.
I just do not understand why I feel like I am never extended that second chance I give to so many people. I am not proud of what I have done in my past. But i am not the same person I was even 2 months ago. I am changed, I learned from my mistakes. I just want the chance to prove that.
Well I know I have been working on this for a few days. I have been trying to put down everything that I wanted to say.
Well they contacted me today. and said they do not want to talk to me. They didnt think it is a good idea. And they said they should have never talked to me to start with. so here we are. I truly have lost a really good friend. I am at a total loss of words.
I know what I did. But i am not sure why they decided that they should have never talked to me in the first place. other then the breakdown I had during the year of my father's death and me saying goodbye to Kathryn forever. The only thing I did was put everything I felt for Kathryn into "them". But I was in a really bad place then emotionally especially. I am not in that place anymore.
I really do not know what to say.
The rest of this post is kind of pointless.
since the majority of the blog was so that i could explain my feelings and hope that voicing this out I could get the courage to contact them outright and start the process of becoming their friend again. But that is out of the question now. I am not sure where I want to go with this blog post from here. I am extremely disappointed.
I really miss their friendship. I miss laughing with them talking about utterly stupid shit and having them there to talk to me about the things they were going through and me them in return.
but I will say this. If you read this and have anything even remotely durogatory to say in response dont bother I dont want to hear it I know what I did. I fucked up and there is nothing that will change that. I just wanted to express myself and my feelings about it.
First I would like to congratulate my Saints for their first SB victory. I was a very special moment for me and the only regret I have about last night is that my father wasn't here to see it. But he was with me in my heart, and I know he was proud of his boys too.
So, I have been doing a lot of thinking here lately about the next topic.
Why is it so hard for someone to give another person a second chance? I really do not understand this. And I am not talking about dating or a romantic relationship. I just mean in general. I feel like I am always seem to be giving people second, third, and fourth chances. Sometimes I get burnt. Sometimes I end up keeping friends that I would hate to not have now.
everyone has made mistakes in their lives. things that they did and things that happened when they werent in a good place to begin with. But people change. conditions change. Things that they realize in their life was wrong they changed in order to better themselves. People do learn from their mistakes.
I just do not understand why I feel like I am never extended that second chance I give to so many people. I am not proud of what I have done in my past. But i am not the same person I was even 2 months ago. I am changed, I learned from my mistakes. I just want the chance to prove that.
Well I know I have been working on this for a few days. I have been trying to put down everything that I wanted to say.
Well they contacted me today. and said they do not want to talk to me. They didnt think it is a good idea. And they said they should have never talked to me to start with. so here we are. I truly have lost a really good friend. I am at a total loss of words.
I know what I did. But i am not sure why they decided that they should have never talked to me in the first place. other then the breakdown I had during the year of my father's death and me saying goodbye to Kathryn forever. The only thing I did was put everything I felt for Kathryn into "them". But I was in a really bad place then emotionally especially. I am not in that place anymore.
I really do not know what to say.
The rest of this post is kind of pointless.
since the majority of the blog was so that i could explain my feelings and hope that voicing this out I could get the courage to contact them outright and start the process of becoming their friend again. But that is out of the question now. I am not sure where I want to go with this blog post from here. I am extremely disappointed.
I really miss their friendship. I miss laughing with them talking about utterly stupid shit and having them there to talk to me about the things they were going through and me them in return.
but I will say this. If you read this and have anything even remotely durogatory to say in response dont bother I dont want to hear it I know what I did. I fucked up and there is nothing that will change that. I just wanted to express myself and my feelings about it.
