So far.. 2019 has not been any better for me than 2018 was.
January 5, a serious seizure.
Last week, three very serious falls. On the ground, and out of my chair.
Then, the other night, a terrible dizzy spell in the shower, that almost made me fall over, and hit my head.
In addition, to.;.
Severe shooting pains, from my head.. all the way down to my feet, since the serious seizure.
Something very, very bad is going to happen to me, I can just feel it.
Even though today is my "birthday". (BFD).
This has nothing to do with my lost insurance career, not having a partner or a family, or with any of the "personalities" I deal with in my life. (Who I will not mention in detail, as it always gets me into trouble)
I'm just fucking tired of feeling sick.
The past few months has seemingly been a never ending array of seizures, falls, pain, tests, etc.
As I mentioned before, my neurologist has told me on more than one occasion, that any of these seizures has the potential to take my life at any time.
On my mom's birthday this past Saturday, I felt very very sad, and empty.
Today I just feel in terrible pain, and extremely exasperated, and pissed off.
Since the seizure, my speech has gotten very bad at times with the stuttering, to the point where I cannot put two words together edgewise.
Whatever happens, I'm thankful that my mom is not around to see it.
Except for the incident with the seizure in 2011 that almost killed me while she was undergoing her cancer treatment. , and the seizure that put me in the hospital and almost killed me Thanksgiving 2015..,
Anything that happened to me then, was mild compared to this.
I'm going to try to keep fighting. even though my gut says I'm not going to get out of this.
We will see.
January 5, a serious seizure.
Last week, three very serious falls. On the ground, and out of my chair.
Then, the other night, a terrible dizzy spell in the shower, that almost made me fall over, and hit my head.
In addition, to.;.
Severe shooting pains, from my head.. all the way down to my feet, since the serious seizure.
Something very, very bad is going to happen to me, I can just feel it.
Even though today is my "birthday". (BFD).
This has nothing to do with my lost insurance career, not having a partner or a family, or with any of the "personalities" I deal with in my life. (Who I will not mention in detail, as it always gets me into trouble)
I'm just fucking tired of feeling sick.
The past few months has seemingly been a never ending array of seizures, falls, pain, tests, etc.
As I mentioned before, my neurologist has told me on more than one occasion, that any of these seizures has the potential to take my life at any time.
On my mom's birthday this past Saturday, I felt very very sad, and empty.
Today I just feel in terrible pain, and extremely exasperated, and pissed off.
Since the seizure, my speech has gotten very bad at times with the stuttering, to the point where I cannot put two words together edgewise.
Whatever happens, I'm thankful that my mom is not around to see it.
Except for the incident with the seizure in 2011 that almost killed me while she was undergoing her cancer treatment. , and the seizure that put me in the hospital and almost killed me Thanksgiving 2015..,
Anything that happened to me then, was mild compared to this.
I'm going to try to keep fighting. even though my gut says I'm not going to get out of this.
We will see.
