Sitting at work a little bleh

I am sitting at work a little bored. I was thinkng about thing and got a little bleh/meh. Over the thanksgiving holiday I spoke with my friend I mention in an earlier Blog. I had mentioned losing their friendship and they wanted time. So I figured 2 months was enough time. They were plesant to me but still very stand offish. I spoke about missing their friendship and missing out conversations. And also about how sorry I acted the way I did and they responded that they were too. I asked if we could start over and just be friends. They said not right now they still need time. I asked then were they just trying to spare my feelings and he polite or do they really need time to sort things out. Basically I asked if they were serious about that and wanted to salvage our friendship. They said they didn't know and they had a lot of feelings to sort out.

I know I fucked things up. But I miss my friend. I was really close to them and not having them in my life to confide and laugh with has made me that little bit more lonley. What I did to push them away in the first place was wrong. And I pro a ly will never be able to be their friend again and that hurts. Because they were and amazingly caring person with a beautiful soul and someone you are proud to call your friend.

I guess I felt like sharing. In not sure there is any relevant advice I do not already know. I'm just kind of bummed. This time of the year in general has me kind of bleh for a number of reasons. This just being the one in my head at the moment.