A blog vent, about Maria.
Lately, I've been spending a lot of time with her. I stop by the place she works at. (A Restaurant) Today,. she gave me.. free soda, and Potato Skins ( that my points card for the place she works at entitled me to) Of course, I shared the skins with her, even though she told me she's "Not supposed to eat while she's working, and that it's against "Company rules"
We talk.. about everything. She told me that she tells me things that she never told anyone else.
She';s a wonderful person. Kind, loving, giving.. attentive. I don't care that she's "Older" or "Doesn't have a college degree".
Problem is.. She's getting married soon, she says, for benefits. I know she likes me. She claims she doesn't want to be involved, but I know others have said its because she doesn't feel "That way" about me. I asked her if it was because of my foot fetish, and she said no, that if we were together, playing with her feet would be no big deal.
She has grown on me, as a person. I love her, and would love to be with her. This is not some infatuation that developed in one minute. It's from hundreds of hours of time spent with her, over the course of what was until weeks ago, the worst year of my life.
Now.. I'm faced with passing my exam. I'm struggling on practice tests. I'm supposed to take the exam next week. Even if I pass it. ..
I have to start from scratch,.,. Get to know someone again, and have someone get to know me. Oh, and by the way, I'm Mitch, and.. during physical intimacy, I would be very appreciative if you would let me play with your feet, tickle you, and maybe,,. stand barefoot on that ladder.
The thought of having to go through that, and the potential reaction of the person, whoever she would be, is just,.. at the least.. not pleasant, and.. at most.. downright terrifying, and sickening.
As I've posted before, Maria figured out my foot fetish, and kind of smirked, before telling me she has "Ugly feet". (I don't know, because I've never seen them bare or in sandals).
Even if I become a "Successful Aflac or other insurance representative", don't think I'm not thinking of the potential reaction when I would tell someone about my "interests". I'm also not relishing the whole "Getting to know part" in general. Maria and I know.. everything about each other.. and yet...
I just wonder why it has to be so difficult.
Lately, I've been spending a lot of time with her. I stop by the place she works at. (A Restaurant) Today,. she gave me.. free soda, and Potato Skins ( that my points card for the place she works at entitled me to) Of course, I shared the skins with her, even though she told me she's "Not supposed to eat while she's working, and that it's against "Company rules"
We talk.. about everything. She told me that she tells me things that she never told anyone else.
She';s a wonderful person. Kind, loving, giving.. attentive. I don't care that she's "Older" or "Doesn't have a college degree".
Problem is.. She's getting married soon, she says, for benefits. I know she likes me. She claims she doesn't want to be involved, but I know others have said its because she doesn't feel "That way" about me. I asked her if it was because of my foot fetish, and she said no, that if we were together, playing with her feet would be no big deal.
She has grown on me, as a person. I love her, and would love to be with her. This is not some infatuation that developed in one minute. It's from hundreds of hours of time spent with her, over the course of what was until weeks ago, the worst year of my life.
Now.. I'm faced with passing my exam. I'm struggling on practice tests. I'm supposed to take the exam next week. Even if I pass it. ..
I have to start from scratch,.,. Get to know someone again, and have someone get to know me. Oh, and by the way, I'm Mitch, and.. during physical intimacy, I would be very appreciative if you would let me play with your feet, tickle you, and maybe,,. stand barefoot on that ladder.
The thought of having to go through that, and the potential reaction of the person, whoever she would be, is just,.. at the least.. not pleasant, and.. at most.. downright terrifying, and sickening.
As I've posted before, Maria figured out my foot fetish, and kind of smirked, before telling me she has "Ugly feet". (I don't know, because I've never seen them bare or in sandals).
Even if I become a "Successful Aflac or other insurance representative", don't think I'm not thinking of the potential reaction when I would tell someone about my "interests". I'm also not relishing the whole "Getting to know part" in general. Maria and I know.. everything about each other.. and yet...
I just wonder why it has to be so difficult.
