It's really over this time. Ford broke up with me by text message. Who does that anymore? I had literally just spent the weekend with him, and then this.
This isn't a blog to pour out my feelings. I think I knew it was coming. I'm more upset that I loved someone with my whole heart who didn't feel the same way, although he sure acted like he did.
Did he find someone else? Probably. I can't worry about that now. I need to fix me. He made me feel like I had to jump through certain hoops to be the perfect girlfriend. When I didn't, I didn't love him enough, or didn't support him enough. When you love someone, you do things for them. I was prepared not to go to any munches or NEST because it made him uncomfortable. THAT'S love. When he was hurting, I tried to make it better. When I didn't, I was accused of not being sensitive to his needs. How can I, if you can't tell me what's wrong?
Sorry. I'm sorry. It just sucks when you feel that you give all of yourself to someone, and it isn't appreciated. I am a caring person. He made me feel like an uncaring, ungrateful bitch. I KNOW I wasn't like that. It's just that I didn't fit into the box that he made for me.
So.....moving on. I made a mistake, one that I hope won't happen again. I know I am deserving of someone who will love me for who I am. I'm positive it's going to happen. I shouldn't allow people to crush me like that, but I have my moments. I consider myself a strong person, but I have my weak moments. I think that's what I hate. I don't like being weak. I hate showing vulnerability, people seem to find that and explioit it. I hide behind facades of strength, and I do it well. I'm not strong. But how do you find that one person who will help you to become strong instead of weakening you more?
My friends help give me strength. If I can put everyone of you in a blender, I would probably have my perfect guy, lol.
I'm gonna take some time to work on me. Whether that takes me away from the forum or not, I cannot say. Just know that I love you all dearly, and hope to see you again soon.
--T
This isn't a blog to pour out my feelings. I think I knew it was coming. I'm more upset that I loved someone with my whole heart who didn't feel the same way, although he sure acted like he did.
Did he find someone else? Probably. I can't worry about that now. I need to fix me. He made me feel like I had to jump through certain hoops to be the perfect girlfriend. When I didn't, I didn't love him enough, or didn't support him enough. When you love someone, you do things for them. I was prepared not to go to any munches or NEST because it made him uncomfortable. THAT'S love. When he was hurting, I tried to make it better. When I didn't, I was accused of not being sensitive to his needs. How can I, if you can't tell me what's wrong?
Sorry. I'm sorry. It just sucks when you feel that you give all of yourself to someone, and it isn't appreciated. I am a caring person. He made me feel like an uncaring, ungrateful bitch. I KNOW I wasn't like that. It's just that I didn't fit into the box that he made for me.
So.....moving on. I made a mistake, one that I hope won't happen again. I know I am deserving of someone who will love me for who I am. I'm positive it's going to happen. I shouldn't allow people to crush me like that, but I have my moments. I consider myself a strong person, but I have my weak moments. I think that's what I hate. I don't like being weak. I hate showing vulnerability, people seem to find that and explioit it. I hide behind facades of strength, and I do it well. I'm not strong. But how do you find that one person who will help you to become strong instead of weakening you more?
My friends help give me strength. If I can put everyone of you in a blender, I would probably have my perfect guy, lol.
I'm gonna take some time to work on me. Whether that takes me away from the forum or not, I cannot say. Just know that I love you all dearly, and hope to see you again soon.
--T
Just thought I'd write and check in with you guys for a lil bit. I hope...