Well, they say the third times the charm right? Let's see. I spent three hours yesterday working on a blog entry but in the end it was to no avail. My first attempt was disrupted and ultimately lost due to a malicious add on warning that booted me out. That was the first time I had encountered one of those while on this forum. The second attempt was my fault as I did something stupid, erased most of it, got frusterated and took the hint.
Yesterday I had begun by starting with a brief statement on the history of Valentines Day. I'm not getting into all of that again. But, I will send out a Happy Valentines Day thought to the TMF. If you have a special someone, hopefully flowers, candy, and more kinky,perverted acts than one could imagine are in store for you both....
If you're like single like me, 
I don't know what to tell ya....lol...Fuckin' figure something out.You know, treat yourself to something.
This will be my last post for a few months. There's a lot of work I need to do and it's going to require a great deal of focus and discipline. So I will fill this entry with whatever things I have running through the mind. I got my playlist set, my cup of tea, I'm ready to settle in. Let's start this thread with a little money, a little Cash....
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So I had my second cert. test yesterday and I did well despite a tumultuous week.It was the most difficult week I've had in a while and knew it was coming. Been there, here, before and will most likely return at some other point.But through the fog I managed to pull a rabbit out of my hat. I'm confident in my abilities and trust in my work ethic but when I walked into that test, mentally I was in a complete, emotionally flustered confusion. Don't ask me how I did it but I managed to score perfect on that test. The instructor who oversees the lab had only seen it done several times and I was just like. I wasn't even there. It just brought forth to myself the fact that if I could just clear the cobwebs I'd be capable of so much more. So that's two out of the way and my aim is to complete two more by the end of the month, which will be difficult but I'm going to try and bulldoze that shit. You know what I mean? Right now it's all about the challenge and growing from it. Yeah, it'll be good to have this knowledge and the qualifications that come along with it but I'm kinda dead to that shit right now. I need a job and a new career path badly yes, but that's not driving me right now. It's complicated but other areas of my life need more attention than some dime a dozen job.
How about some Tupac? Tupac was real as anything, how could you not be feeling his music? That dude was genuine as hell and earned his place in music's history......
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This morning I decided to leave town for a few. This place is like a half hour or so from where I am, I like it there.I took this pic, which really isn't a fantastic picture but it creates the image.....
View attachment 287508
So that's where I spent my morning, and I'm paying for it now. I'll explain later. Anyway, I was out in nature wishing I could smoke some nature...
...lol...Actually, I don't want to smoke right now. I got a small bag of bud about a month ago and it's not the right time. Pot is a fantastic enhancer and offers a world benefits but I don't need things enhanced right now. Times aren't good and I don't need that amplified, but, with that said, it was nice for a brief, more in depth look at things to better assess where I'm at. I want to be able to enjoy my bud in the future and I'd rather not associate it at all with negativity. Fuck that. For now I need to balance things out and the time will come when I smoke my bud on the dawn of a new day. Indeed.
With dawn of a new day said, how about an oldie by In Flames. Incredible song.....
<object width="210" height="150"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/XdGtmAW3UeE?version=3&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/XdGtmAW3UeE?version=3&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="210" height="150" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object>
For the record, I just opened a Heineken 22 which was one of three I purchased for the fight tonight but, I'm in pain so I'm going to have one now. I have a conundrum now when it comes to alcohol and don't enjoy drinking much anymore because of this. I love the taste of beer and there is nothing like a brisk Heineken or an indescribable tasting Guinness. This Heineken here looks amazing all settled in the pilsner glass but the problem is, I don't like being drunk anymore. It just doesn't do it for me anymore but once in while, like a fight night, I'll put myself through it. That's horrible. Maybe not, it's probably better health wise.
Last entry I mentioned that someone had stolen the dryer from the basement in my apartment. The landlord had come to believe that it was the tenant who moved in two days prior. A couple days after the dryer incident a woman around the corner had her purse snatched while she was walking into her apartment and landlord found it in the bushes right after he saw this dude by there. Then something happened between him and one of the other tenants and the cops had to be called twice. This was all in the span of like two weeks. The landlord asked me if the dude gave me any problems.I was like, ''Pfft, I'd hurt that poor guy if he gave me problems.'' I have enough bullshit to deal with without some wannabe thug fuck giving me shit. It's been a while since I've thrown someone and I'd put a piece of shit like that right down the fuckin' stairs.....and enjoy it too. 🙂 You feelin' me? Anyway, he got kicked out and afterwards I was thinking to myself, I was like, ''Why can't he find a little cutie to move in rather than all of these characters.'' Well, I can't remember if it was the next day or the day after but I was walking downstairs and this cute girl was walking boxes up the stairs. I was like damn, the powers that be were paying attention to my thoughts that day. 😀 I'm not sure if she has a man but we'll find out. At the least, I don't think we need to worry about her stealing any appliances, but, if I see her wheeling out the washer we're going to have problems. 😡
For about the last month I've been on a candle kick,they create a nice atmosphere. I've learned some things about them as well. I've found that candlelight is a lot like the sunlight at sunset as it emits that same soft,subtle glow.Every night I lite those things it's like a sustained sunset on Second St. At first I couldn't put finger on it but there is a certain allure to candlelight. I've found that it has a very accompanying quality to it,almost like a presence all to itself.Also in my last entry I said I would include photos to future posts to add depth. I'll post a few now while I'm on the candle topic. Last week was fight night on Fox, which turned out to be a lackluster event that could attributed to questionable matchmaking but whatever, and while I was waiting for the event to start I found myself bored and messed around by taking a picture off the wall and adding a candle element to create an image. I was like, ''that's kinda hot''. Something different.....
View attachment 287509
Here's one I took about a week and a half ago at the same place I was today. The first thing I thought was the TMF blog, it just seemed very appropriate. 🙂
I tweeked it slightly.....
View attachment 287510
Here's one last one. This is the tweeked version, the original had much more of a naturally illuminated feeling but I'm feeling kind of black and white tonight. At least I think it looks black and white, the hell if I know..lol.....
View attachment 287511
A couple more different things and then I'm out for a bit..... ''Who's got more back when you're back to the wall?'' That's classic. I think this post needs some music,yeah. Some old school NJHC,yeah. This song is off one of those albums. You know,those albums that are great but can be a hard listen, but still classic, just from a different dimension of time. ''No more, sleepless nights, darkness open my eyes to the light.'' That reminds me, I have a few lyrical quotes to drop in here if I can remember, but until then......
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Onto other things, I don't want to make a huge deal out of this but I found it slightly fascinating. I'm starting to feel a buzz too. Where to start with this? Okay, about a week and a half ago I fucked my back, like a tissue strain or sprain, whatever. The timing was about right, it's been about three months since something like that and I disobeyed the cardinal rule. I've been pretty consistant with my exercise, as minimal as it is now, which consists of just about daily core work, double end hand work 5 x week @ 1 hour per day(religiously now for 9 months), and one day per week of weight training. Well the cardinal rule, as told to me by a good friend and a man who taught me everthing I know about generating power, is, and I quote, ''Take time off, or time off will be given to to you.'' Very wise words when it comes to not only strength training but just maybe all endeavors, remember that. So I can't complain, I've had a few great months of consistant training and I'll let this heal and by the time it does I'll be chomping at the bit to get after it.
Well, I told you that story to tell you this story. That was Ron White's quote correct? I think it was. Anyway, so now I have this additional injury to deal with. It's no huge deal, no major disaster, whatever, it's just more pain for a few weeks. A couple days ago I was out and about at an area that provides some trails for hiking and outdoor stuff. Where I said earlier in the post that I'll explain later, this will clear things up. Thee uneven terrain of trails makes for a brutal onslaught of my back and neck, fuckin' brutal. I'm trying to think how to word this. I handle pain very well, I don't bring it up a lot, nobody want's to hear about it and I don't want to be the guy bitchin' about it. You know what I mean? So this past week, I forget what day it was, I'm out there and walking around for like, I don't know, maybe 30-40 minutes. This day I was squatting and bending a lot, but controlled, trying to create angles for pictures I wanted. I'm the fuckin' guy hanging off a vine trying to get a photo. You feelin' me?
So after a bit I head back to the car. As usual, after these walks it feels sooo good to sit down,it's like damn that feels good. Like you've been walking for days, got hit by a car and haven't eaten, just a relief to sit down. So I start driving home and I'm out of it. I'm feeling kind of floaty and just out of it and I'm like WTF? And then it hit me...........''I'm fuckin' high''. I'm like WTF? I couldn't figure it out at first and then I'm like, ''Holy shit. I'm in so much pain I'm high.'' What allowed me to realize that? BDSM. Yep. I wrote about it a while back, a little over a year ago now I believe. I hooked up with this woman and she introduced me to the depths of BDSM. First off, before I met up with her I didn't realize it but I'm a true masochist, I take pain like a mother fucker. We were together one night, and she whipped me bloody. I'm talking it was brutal and it was my first time ever experiencing some like that. I was just like whatever, you know. I was kind of indifferent to it. To those who appreciate those types of markings as an art it looked amazing. It was visciously beautiful and I regret not getting photos.
But anyway, staying over her place that night and taking in that experience opened my eyes to something. It was the effect pain had on the body. I found myself laying there that night completely exhausted, physically drained by the experience. I also found myself in a sort of pain induced euphoric state of disassociation, it was a unique experience. That's what clicked when I was driving home earlier this week. I was like whoa, reality check. All day long after that I couldn't stop thinking about it. I thought to myself, I'm like holy shit, I feel like this all of the time. There's not much more I can do about the chronic pain so I basically, at least on conscious level, just kinda stick it below and grind through life, you know?
But just because I don't dwell on it and make it a center of focus doesn't change the fact that at a sub conscious level and physiologically it has a tremendous impact on my overall body and chemical functioning. I was like just like damn. Yeah,this week has been nuts and still can't believe I smoked that test yesterday, I don't even know. You know?
Well I'm going to wrap this up shortly but I'll hit a few more things before I peace out. The rollercoaster of the last week has brought something to mind here. I've dealt with a lot of issues now for a long time, I live my life trapped in a viscious cylce, a hell that nobody see's but me and without medical intervention it's going to kill me. I'm not happy about that statement and quite honestly I'm ashamed to have said it but it's the truth. When I get up and going, get a job and medical insurance it'll be the first thing I address. It's done enough damage already and I don't need the challenge that it's effect will present to be any greater, I already have my hands full with more than I can even imagine.
I have to bring this up before I go. A tremendous, deeply heart felt thank you goes to the melodic metal gods who aligned the stars and made way for the reunion of the unparalleled musicians Mikkel Sandager and Henrik ''Kral'' Anderson. Thank you. The news of their rejoining and newly formed creation of the band soon to be known as Firesoul broke recently and has the melodic metal world a buzz. The other worldy clean vocals of Mikkel and the deep gutteral growls as well as the fantastic bass stylings of Kral were last seen together on the most dynamic metal album ever produced, Mercenary's 2004 release ''11 Dreams''. Aside from that I'm speechless and I can't even sleep at night. Well to be honest, I couldn't sleep before that but I really can't sleep now. In all seriousness, I hope their first album is released before summer because I'm sure it would be an indescribable and memorable addition to this summer's soundtrack. Words can't describe.......
View attachment 287507
It's been a great night but as Thought Riot stated......''In time though all things end our vivacity endures.'' Before I close this with a few more tunes I'd like to give my best silent thoughts and wishes to all of the TMF. We'll see ya in a few.
I just came across this band a couple of weeks ago but this song is already timeless. It's an old one but new to me, one of those deals.....
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In my last post I commented on just getting into the work of the band Seemless, Jesse never disappoints........
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Oh shit, but before I close let me leave the lyrics that have been resonating within, I almost forgot.....
''We're closer to the edge now,
One push and we disappear,
I'm the old man warning you,
I've been asleep for seven years,
Cast aside,
My dreams denied,
Living each day hiding,
Behind the mask, we never rise,
Giving in we're dying''
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Peace.
Yesterday I had begun by starting with a brief statement on the history of Valentines Day. I'm not getting into all of that again. But, I will send out a Happy Valentines Day thought to the TMF. If you have a special someone, hopefully flowers, candy, and more kinky,perverted acts than one could imagine are in store for you both....
If you're like single like me, I don't know what to tell ya....lol...Fuckin' figure something out.You know, treat yourself to something. This will be my last post for a few months. There's a lot of work I need to do and it's going to require a great deal of focus and discipline. So I will fill this entry with whatever things I have running through the mind. I got my playlist set, my cup of tea, I'm ready to settle in. Let's start this thread with a little money, a little Cash....
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So I had my second cert. test yesterday and I did well despite a tumultuous week.It was the most difficult week I've had in a while and knew it was coming. Been there, here, before and will most likely return at some other point.But through the fog I managed to pull a rabbit out of my hat. I'm confident in my abilities and trust in my work ethic but when I walked into that test, mentally I was in a complete, emotionally flustered confusion. Don't ask me how I did it but I managed to score perfect on that test. The instructor who oversees the lab had only seen it done several times and I was just like
. I wasn't even there. It just brought forth to myself the fact that if I could just clear the cobwebs I'd be capable of so much more. So that's two out of the way and my aim is to complete two more by the end of the month, which will be difficult but I'm going to try and bulldoze that shit. You know what I mean? Right now it's all about the challenge and growing from it. Yeah, it'll be good to have this knowledge and the qualifications that come along with it but I'm kinda dead to that shit right now. I need a job and a new career path badly yes, but that's not driving me right now. It's complicated but other areas of my life need more attention than some dime a dozen job.How about some Tupac? Tupac was real as anything, how could you not be feeling his music? That dude was genuine as hell and earned his place in music's history......
<object width="210" height="150"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/kExHaBkEYi8?version=3&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/kExHaBkEYi8?version=3&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="210" height="150" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object>
This morning I decided to leave town for a few. This place is like a half hour or so from where I am, I like it there.I took this pic, which really isn't a fantastic picture but it creates the image.....
View attachment 287508
So that's where I spent my morning, and I'm paying for it now. I'll explain later. Anyway, I was out in nature wishing I could smoke some nature...
...lol...Actually, I don't want to smoke right now. I got a small bag of bud about a month ago and it's not the right time. Pot is a fantastic enhancer and offers a world benefits but I don't need things enhanced right now. Times aren't good and I don't need that amplified, but, with that said, it was nice for a brief, more in depth look at things to better assess where I'm at. I want to be able to enjoy my bud in the future and I'd rather not associate it at all with negativity. Fuck that. For now I need to balance things out and the time will come when I smoke my bud on the dawn of a new day. Indeed.With dawn of a new day said, how about an oldie by In Flames. Incredible song.....
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For the record, I just opened a Heineken 22 which was one of three I purchased for the fight tonight but, I'm in pain so I'm going to have one now. I have a conundrum now when it comes to alcohol and don't enjoy drinking much anymore because of this. I love the taste of beer and there is nothing like a brisk Heineken or an indescribable tasting Guinness. This Heineken here looks amazing all settled in the pilsner glass but the problem is, I don't like being drunk anymore. It just doesn't do it for me anymore but once in while, like a fight night, I'll put myself through it. That's horrible. Maybe not, it's probably better health wise.
Last entry I mentioned that someone had stolen the dryer from the basement in my apartment. The landlord had come to believe that it was the tenant who moved in two days prior. A couple days after the dryer incident a woman around the corner had her purse snatched while she was walking into her apartment and landlord found it in the bushes right after he saw this dude by there. Then something happened between him and one of the other tenants and the cops had to be called twice. This was all in the span of like two weeks. The landlord asked me if the dude gave me any problems.I was like, ''Pfft, I'd hurt that poor guy if he gave me problems.'' I have enough bullshit to deal with without some wannabe thug fuck giving me shit. It's been a while since I've thrown someone and I'd put a piece of shit like that right down the fuckin' stairs.....and enjoy it too. 🙂 You feelin' me? Anyway, he got kicked out and afterwards I was thinking to myself, I was like, ''Why can't he find a little cutie to move in rather than all of these characters.'' Well, I can't remember if it was the next day or the day after but I was walking downstairs and this cute girl was walking boxes up the stairs. I was like damn, the powers that be were paying attention to my thoughts that day. 😀 I'm not sure if she has a man but we'll find out. At the least, I don't think we need to worry about her stealing any appliances, but, if I see her wheeling out the washer we're going to have problems. 😡
For about the last month I've been on a candle kick,they create a nice atmosphere. I've learned some things about them as well. I've found that candlelight is a lot like the sunlight at sunset as it emits that same soft,subtle glow.Every night I lite those things it's like a sustained sunset on Second St. At first I couldn't put finger on it but there is a certain allure to candlelight. I've found that it has a very accompanying quality to it,almost like a presence all to itself.Also in my last entry I said I would include photos to future posts to add depth. I'll post a few now while I'm on the candle topic. Last week was fight night on Fox, which turned out to be a lackluster event that could attributed to questionable matchmaking but whatever, and while I was waiting for the event to start I found myself bored and messed around by taking a picture off the wall and adding a candle element to create an image. I was like, ''that's kinda hot''. Something different.....
View attachment 287509
Here's one I took about a week and a half ago at the same place I was today. The first thing I thought was the TMF blog, it just seemed very appropriate. 🙂
I tweeked it slightly.....View attachment 287510
Here's one last one. This is the tweeked version, the original had much more of a naturally illuminated feeling but I'm feeling kind of black and white tonight. At least I think it looks black and white, the hell if I know..lol.....
View attachment 287511
A couple more different things and then I'm out for a bit..... ''Who's got more back when you're back to the wall?'' That's classic. I think this post needs some music,yeah. Some old school NJHC,yeah. This song is off one of those albums. You know,those albums that are great but can be a hard listen, but still classic, just from a different dimension of time. ''No more, sleepless nights, darkness open my eyes to the light.'' That reminds me, I have a few lyrical quotes to drop in here if I can remember, but until then......
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Onto other things, I don't want to make a huge deal out of this but I found it slightly fascinating. I'm starting to feel a buzz too. Where to start with this? Okay, about a week and a half ago I fucked my back, like a tissue strain or sprain, whatever. The timing was about right, it's been about three months since something like that and I disobeyed the cardinal rule. I've been pretty consistant with my exercise, as minimal as it is now, which consists of just about daily core work, double end hand work 5 x week @ 1 hour per day(religiously now for 9 months), and one day per week of weight training. Well the cardinal rule, as told to me by a good friend and a man who taught me everthing I know about generating power, is, and I quote, ''Take time off, or time off will be given to to you.'' Very wise words when it comes to not only strength training but just maybe all endeavors, remember that. So I can't complain, I've had a few great months of consistant training and I'll let this heal and by the time it does I'll be chomping at the bit to get after it.
Well, I told you that story to tell you this story. That was Ron White's quote correct? I think it was. Anyway, so now I have this additional injury to deal with. It's no huge deal, no major disaster, whatever, it's just more pain for a few weeks. A couple days ago I was out and about at an area that provides some trails for hiking and outdoor stuff. Where I said earlier in the post that I'll explain later, this will clear things up. Thee uneven terrain of trails makes for a brutal onslaught of my back and neck, fuckin' brutal. I'm trying to think how to word this. I handle pain very well, I don't bring it up a lot, nobody want's to hear about it and I don't want to be the guy bitchin' about it. You know what I mean? So this past week, I forget what day it was, I'm out there and walking around for like, I don't know, maybe 30-40 minutes. This day I was squatting and bending a lot, but controlled, trying to create angles for pictures I wanted. I'm the fuckin' guy hanging off a vine trying to get a photo. You feelin' me?
So after a bit I head back to the car. As usual, after these walks it feels sooo good to sit down,it's like damn that feels good. Like you've been walking for days, got hit by a car and haven't eaten, just a relief to sit down. So I start driving home and I'm out of it. I'm feeling kind of floaty and just out of it and I'm like WTF? And then it hit me...........''I'm fuckin' high''. I'm like WTF? I couldn't figure it out at first and then I'm like, ''Holy shit. I'm in so much pain I'm high.'' What allowed me to realize that? BDSM. Yep. I wrote about it a while back, a little over a year ago now I believe. I hooked up with this woman and she introduced me to the depths of BDSM. First off, before I met up with her I didn't realize it but I'm a true masochist, I take pain like a mother fucker. We were together one night, and she whipped me bloody. I'm talking it was brutal and it was my first time ever experiencing some like that. I was just like whatever, you know. I was kind of indifferent to it. To those who appreciate those types of markings as an art it looked amazing. It was visciously beautiful and I regret not getting photos.
But anyway, staying over her place that night and taking in that experience opened my eyes to something. It was the effect pain had on the body. I found myself laying there that night completely exhausted, physically drained by the experience. I also found myself in a sort of pain induced euphoric state of disassociation, it was a unique experience. That's what clicked when I was driving home earlier this week. I was like whoa, reality check. All day long after that I couldn't stop thinking about it. I thought to myself, I'm like holy shit, I feel like this all of the time. There's not much more I can do about the chronic pain so I basically, at least on conscious level, just kinda stick it below and grind through life, you know?
But just because I don't dwell on it and make it a center of focus doesn't change the fact that at a sub conscious level and physiologically it has a tremendous impact on my overall body and chemical functioning. I was like just like damn. Yeah,this week has been nuts and still can't believe I smoked that test yesterday, I don't even know. You know?
Well I'm going to wrap this up shortly but I'll hit a few more things before I peace out. The rollercoaster of the last week has brought something to mind here. I've dealt with a lot of issues now for a long time, I live my life trapped in a viscious cylce, a hell that nobody see's but me and without medical intervention it's going to kill me. I'm not happy about that statement and quite honestly I'm ashamed to have said it but it's the truth. When I get up and going, get a job and medical insurance it'll be the first thing I address. It's done enough damage already and I don't need the challenge that it's effect will present to be any greater, I already have my hands full with more than I can even imagine.
I have to bring this up before I go. A tremendous, deeply heart felt thank you goes to the melodic metal gods who aligned the stars and made way for the reunion of the unparalleled musicians Mikkel Sandager and Henrik ''Kral'' Anderson. Thank you. The news of their rejoining and newly formed creation of the band soon to be known as Firesoul broke recently and has the melodic metal world a buzz. The other worldy clean vocals of Mikkel and the deep gutteral growls as well as the fantastic bass stylings of Kral were last seen together on the most dynamic metal album ever produced, Mercenary's 2004 release ''11 Dreams''. Aside from that I'm speechless and I can't even sleep at night. Well to be honest, I couldn't sleep before that but I really can't sleep now. In all seriousness, I hope their first album is released before summer because I'm sure it would be an indescribable and memorable addition to this summer's soundtrack. Words can't describe.......
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It's been a great night but as Thought Riot stated......''In time though all things end our vivacity endures.'' Before I close this with a few more tunes I'd like to give my best silent thoughts and wishes to all of the TMF. We'll see ya in a few.
I just came across this band a couple of weeks ago but this song is already timeless. It's an old one but new to me, one of those deals.....
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In my last post I commented on just getting into the work of the band Seemless, Jesse never disappoints........
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Oh shit, but before I close let me leave the lyrics that have been resonating within, I almost forgot.....
''We're closer to the edge now,
One push and we disappear,
I'm the old man warning you,
I've been asleep for seven years,
Cast aside,
My dreams denied,
Living each day hiding,
Behind the mask, we never rise,
Giving in we're dying''
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Peace.
