Before people who read this think that one of my seizures caused a stroke. No. I'm okay. I'm just physically and emotionally exhausted. Something did happen today, though.
Right now.. except for,.. my three to four times a week visit to the gym, and my weekend visits to the casino.. my life consists of three things.. Working, and obsessing/worrying about work, and the deals that are being worked on going through, my speech improving so I can cold call, and.. my ongoing battles with my father.
Today, in the elevator on the way down to lunch.. a cute brunette wearing sunglasses and I were in there alone.. I'm not sure exactly how old she was,,. but it certainly looked like.. datable age. She kept glancing at me, and I glanced back at her. Finally, as she got off.. she said "Bye", and I was just like "Bye". When the doors closed.. I was like to myself.. "You idiot, why the fuck didn't you talk to her".
I keep wondering whether I want to date.. or have a partner.. Part of me is very, very, very, lonely. Beth, my speech therapist, says that my speech has greatly improved, but.. she doesn't seem sure if it's good enough to approach women yet. I.. dated women when I stuttered, but, as everyone knows my dating was a LONG time ago.
I just want.. one really good thing to happen with work.. like a big account to sign.. that will maybe give me a confidence, and will also help me break free of my father, hopefully once and for all.
I remember what floor this girl lives on. If I see her again, I'm going to talk to her. I see neighbors who are men walking in the building periodically.
Sigh! Why does it all have to be so difficult.
Right now.. except for,.. my three to four times a week visit to the gym, and my weekend visits to the casino.. my life consists of three things.. Working, and obsessing/worrying about work, and the deals that are being worked on going through, my speech improving so I can cold call, and.. my ongoing battles with my father.
Today, in the elevator on the way down to lunch.. a cute brunette wearing sunglasses and I were in there alone.. I'm not sure exactly how old she was,,. but it certainly looked like.. datable age. She kept glancing at me, and I glanced back at her. Finally, as she got off.. she said "Bye", and I was just like "Bye". When the doors closed.. I was like to myself.. "You idiot, why the fuck didn't you talk to her".
I keep wondering whether I want to date.. or have a partner.. Part of me is very, very, very, lonely. Beth, my speech therapist, says that my speech has greatly improved, but.. she doesn't seem sure if it's good enough to approach women yet. I.. dated women when I stuttered, but, as everyone knows my dating was a LONG time ago.
I just want.. one really good thing to happen with work.. like a big account to sign.. that will maybe give me a confidence, and will also help me break free of my father, hopefully once and for all.
I remember what floor this girl lives on. If I see her again, I'm going to talk to her. I see neighbors who are men walking in the building periodically.
Sigh! Why does it all have to be so difficult.
