I don't give a flying fuck what anyone thinks of me anymore.
Yes, I know I haven't been Mr. Nice nice on this forum for the last few weeks.
Yes, I know I have been a royal dick to co-workers and friends lately.
I just don't fucking care anymore.
I can probably count on my left hand how many people I've met in person that make my "Dosen't deserve to die" list and STILL have enough fingers left over to hold a full cup of coffee...BTW, I also don't make this list, if that makes anyone feel better.
I have always been disgusted of those who claim that they thrive on pain. They have always sounded like pretentious tools to me. "Yeah, d00d! Don't ever fuck with me or hurt me cuz that's when I'm at my best! I'll kill you!" I always laughed at them. Made fun of them to their faces.
After soul searching, I realised that I actually AM what I despise and ridicule the most! I literally thrive off of pain! I am not happy or content unless I am immersed in agony or turmoil. I will NEVER be well-adjusted. I will never be able to sit in contentment.
Give me a huge McMansion, three up-to-date model sports cars, a beautiful wife, and all the cash I can carry and I will STILL find a way to want to slash my wrists!
I thrive on self destruction, be it; Drugs, Alcohol, hatred, getting others to hate me, looking for reasons to make others hate me, or whatever. This is really when I am feeling the most content.
I hate it, you have to understand. I hate it and love it at the same time. The best memories I have ever had in life were periods of turmoil, stress, and near-death experiences (I brought those on myself). I know this is wrong but I don't know how to live any other way.
Yes, that makes me a fucking freak, weren't you paying attention?
Fuck, whatever. Judge as you see fit. I know you will.
Yes, I know I haven't been Mr. Nice nice on this forum for the last few weeks.
Yes, I know I have been a royal dick to co-workers and friends lately.
I just don't fucking care anymore.
I can probably count on my left hand how many people I've met in person that make my "Dosen't deserve to die" list and STILL have enough fingers left over to hold a full cup of coffee...BTW, I also don't make this list, if that makes anyone feel better.
I have always been disgusted of those who claim that they thrive on pain. They have always sounded like pretentious tools to me. "Yeah, d00d! Don't ever fuck with me or hurt me cuz that's when I'm at my best! I'll kill you!" I always laughed at them. Made fun of them to their faces.
After soul searching, I realised that I actually AM what I despise and ridicule the most! I literally thrive off of pain! I am not happy or content unless I am immersed in agony or turmoil. I will NEVER be well-adjusted. I will never be able to sit in contentment.
Give me a huge McMansion, three up-to-date model sports cars, a beautiful wife, and all the cash I can carry and I will STILL find a way to want to slash my wrists!
I thrive on self destruction, be it; Drugs, Alcohol, hatred, getting others to hate me, looking for reasons to make others hate me, or whatever. This is really when I am feeling the most content.
I hate it, you have to understand. I hate it and love it at the same time. The best memories I have ever had in life were periods of turmoil, stress, and near-death experiences (I brought those on myself). I know this is wrong but I don't know how to live any other way.
Yes, that makes me a fucking freak, weren't you paying attention?
Fuck, whatever. Judge as you see fit. I know you will.
