Despite all the bullshit I've been going through lately, I realize I'm still overall pretty happy.
Looking back at times when I would feel such emotional turmoil that I would resort to the endorphin rush that came with cutting myself, or being so upset I would throw up, or accepting that crying myself to sleep would be a nightly occurrance.
And for someone that has a tickling fetish, I actually went a few years without really laughing. I mean, I didn't know what my own laugh sounded like for a while and if something did strike me funny, the feeling of laughing felt so surprisingly strange that I would stifle it.
These days, things aren't perfect, but I've got a lot of plans to make things better and I know one day many of my dreams will come true. I've got great friends and family. I've got my head on my shoulders. My self confidence is higher than it's really ever been and I can't complain too much.
There may be days where things feel overwhelming or I don't feel capable of handling it, but those are just days, not weeks, or years. When I feel down, I don't feel like things are going to be like that forever.
When you're relatively happy, especially after years of feeling horrible, it's like you're breathing for the first time or something. I don't know.
I know I complain a lot and I'm probably a very dark and morose person, but writing those feelings down is a way for me to deal with them and get rid of them. I'm pretty easy going most of the time. 🙂
Looking back at times when I would feel such emotional turmoil that I would resort to the endorphin rush that came with cutting myself, or being so upset I would throw up, or accepting that crying myself to sleep would be a nightly occurrance.
And for someone that has a tickling fetish, I actually went a few years without really laughing. I mean, I didn't know what my own laugh sounded like for a while and if something did strike me funny, the feeling of laughing felt so surprisingly strange that I would stifle it.
These days, things aren't perfect, but I've got a lot of plans to make things better and I know one day many of my dreams will come true. I've got great friends and family. I've got my head on my shoulders. My self confidence is higher than it's really ever been and I can't complain too much.
There may be days where things feel overwhelming or I don't feel capable of handling it, but those are just days, not weeks, or years. When I feel down, I don't feel like things are going to be like that forever.
When you're relatively happy, especially after years of feeling horrible, it's like you're breathing for the first time or something. I don't know.
I know I complain a lot and I'm probably a very dark and morose person, but writing those feelings down is a way for me to deal with them and get rid of them. I'm pretty easy going most of the time. 🙂
