Depressed at people on here...

[Babyshambles]

Hi,

I'm sure a lot of people on here are total go-getting winners, living life to the full, and that all producers are multi-millionaires living in Tropical tax-havens,

but...

i'm so depressed at the number of people who seem to be undesirable on here (that may or may not include me - i hope it doesn't).

I'm thinking of: -

• People without jobs
• People whose lives have collapsed
• People with terrible illnesses
• People with no ambition
• Producers who film their films in squalour and look as poor as a church mouse
• People with no money
• People with no families
• People with no relationships

Are we on the whole a pathetic bunch, or are we successful winners??

Please dont shoot me for asking this, it has troubled me for a long time. In blunt terms, does coming to this site make me a loser?

 

[Babyshambles]

As if to illustrate my point, the first thread I read after posting this message contained the following quote (unattributed to protect the unimaginative who couldn't bo bothered to pretend success on a site where people wouldn't no either way)

"Please note, this may be entirely useless since I'm very poor and so don't often buy clips"

Please help - are the only people on this site losers? Is this in effect, the sum of Darwinian rejection?

 

[Saeria]

Not a loser, just a normal person. Normal people lose their jobs when the economy tanks, Seem to feel a bit bummed out when things aren't quite going how we like them. Many normal people, like myself, have little to nothing but themselves to present to others. There are normal people that have a difficult time truly believing that others will like them just for who they are. Many people come from families that aren't perfect... we can't choose who we come from. Some people that produce films have the ambition to share something beautiful, even if they dont quite have the means to present it that way. We're only human, we get sick, we're unlucky sometimes. Sometimes we get lucky, sometimes when we realize that ambition really is what makes a person successful, not the money.
It's funny, i fit almost ALL those criteria for an undesirable person, yet i don't really feel much like a loser. Okay, so i am not feeling very winnerly either, but i have patience with myself. If i keep trying i'll be happy enough. As for being a loser by association, that's something you'll have to decide for yourself. It doesn't make you a bad person, but maybe by my standards a bit deluded about how life really is. I've always said you don't know living until you've lost everything and had to work to get it all back, and i hold true to it to the end.

 

[CarolinaTickler]

First, I think you are defining "success" by standards that don't always work. I don't know if it is fair to call someone a loser because of things like they don't have a job or a bad/no relationship with their family.

With the way the economy is people should consider themselves lucky if they have a job. I know friends who have completed their MBA and can't get a full-time job because people just aren't hiring. Money kind of ties into that. Companies just aren't paying what they used to because of an economic downturn and you can't just put out a blanket statement that people without money are losers.

Same thing with family. You can't just say, oh well that person has no relationship with their family so they are a loser. Some people have dealt with abuse (both physical and emotional) from a family member and I can completely understand not wanting to have a relationship with family in that type of situation.

I don't know, I just feel that when people start to label others with a term like "loser" it often seems like they are trying to define themselves as better than someone else. I'm not saying you are doing that, but I always get the impression that when someone else puts another person or group down they are just trying to build themselves up and make themselves feel or look better. Again I'm not saying that you are doing this, but I just don't think it is right to judge someone when you don't know the full story.

I liked what John Wooden used to say, "Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are."

 

[Babyshambles]

Hmm,

I wonder if it can be attributed to the economy?

I'm not saying anyone on here is a loser. I honestly think everyone fits those categories I listed in some way and to some extent....

I suppose what troubles me is how willing people are to share their failings. I always learnt that you never do that - if anything, put a positive spin on the life.

If you're poor but ambitious that's alright. Just make sure you never refer to yourself as being poor, and talk up the ambitious side.

Not a loser, just a normal person. Normal people lose their jobs when the economy tanks, Seem to feel a bit bummed out when things aren't quite going how we like them. Many normal people, like myself, have little to nothing but themselves to present to others. There are normal people that have a difficult time truly believing that others will like them just for who they are. Many people come from families that aren't perfect... we can't choose who we come from. Some people that produce films have the ambition to share something beautiful, even if they dont quite have the means to present it that way. We're only human, we get sick, we're unlucky sometimes. Sometimes we get lucky, sometimes when we realize that ambition really is what makes a person successful, not the money.
It's funny, i fit almost ALL those criteria for an undesirable person, yet i don't really feel much like a loser. Okay, so i am not feeling very winnerly either, but i have patience with myself. If i keep trying i'll be happy enough. As for being a loser by association, that's something you'll have to decide for yourself. It doesn't make you a bad person, but maybe by my standards a bit deluded about how life really is. I've always said you don't know living until you've lost everything and had to work to get it all back, and i hold true to it to the end.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

I don't see what you see. I see people who...

-Own their own businesses - vid production and otherwise
-Have amazing families and beautiful children
-Are honest, loyal, and sincere
-Are in process of getting a college education - some while working full-time to support themselves
-Have made, and continue to make, some of the best friends of their lives from this site
-Offer sincere advice to one another in times of confusion
-Have banded together to help members negatively affected by natural disasters
-Support members who open up about personal issues (i.e. sexual abuse, eating disorders)

and I could go on.

Everyone in the world, here and elsewhere, are afflicted by some of the issues you mentioned. Avoiding it is impossible. What matters is how you deal with it, and it's my opinion that the folks here deal with negative issues well, especially when we have eachother to lean on.

 

[Knot Amewzed]

Hi,

I'm sure a lot of people on here are total go-getting winners, living life to the full, and that all producers are multi-millionaires living in Tropical tax-havens,

but...

i'm so depressed at the number of people who seem to be undesirable on here (that may or may not include me - i hope it doesn't).

I'm thinking of: -

• People without jobs
• People whose lives have collapsed
• People with terrible illnesses
• People with no ambition
• Producers who film their films in squalour and look as poor as a church mouse
• People with no money
• People with no families
• People with no relationships

Are we on the whole a pathetic bunch, or are we successful winners??

Please dont shoot me for asking this, it has troubled me for a long time. In blunt terms, does coming to this site make me a loser?

You need to seek professional help. If you are a winner enough to have medical coverage, you should make an appointment to see a therapist. In my personal opinion, you sound depressed.

 

[Aimee]

Are we on the whole a pathetic bunch, or are we successful winners??

Please dont shoot me for asking this, it has troubled me for a long time. In blunt terms, does coming to this site make me a loser?

... What?
You think that proclaiming and asking "does coming on this site make me a loser?" is NOT going to get negative responses??

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
I'm sorry, k ... well no I am NOT sorry ... I've seen some of your other posts like the whole "Am I being Ignored" post .. saying that Americans are cruel because no one said anything to your previous post ... yeah, wow.

You wanna know what I think makes YOU a loser ???
Coming on this site and making blunt statements like that. It's completely uncalled for and rude. Ugh.

I don't see what you see. I see people who...

-Own their own businesses - vid production and otherwise
-Have amazing families and beautiful children
-Are honest, loyal, and sincere
-Are in process of getting a college education - some while working full-time to support themselves
-Have made, and continue to make, some of the best friends of their lives from this site
-Offer sincere advice to one another in times of confusion
-Have banded together to help members negatively affected by natural disasters
-Support members who open up about personal issues (i.e. sexual abuse, eating disorders)

and I could go on.

Everyone in the world, here and elsewhere, are afflicted by some of the issues you mentioned. Avoiding it is impossible. What matters is how you deal with it, and it's my opinion that the folks here deal with negative issues well, especially when we have eachother to lean on.

Skip
You are my HERO!

You need to seek professional help. If you are a winner enough to have medical coverage, you should make an appointment to see a therapist. In my personal opinion, you sound depressed.

 

[-Hari-]

We all fit most of these catagories at some stage.

I wouldnt say that we`r a pathetic bunch, even if we fell into all of those cataogories at once, its more about how we handle it than the situation we are sat in.

 

[Carsomyr]

This is perhaps a little blunt, but in no way meant as hostile: Welcome out of fairy-land, ruled by the color blue; a land where everyone has a job, no one is lonely, and people judge you by your personality and not the way you look. You have just arrived in the real world, please put on your seatbelt before we land, because chances are the pilot is a douche who'd just love to crash the plane into the ground because he thinks it's funny. I hope you have had a healthy dose of love recently, because in this world people don't give a damn about you unless you have a shitload of cash. Don't stop to help beggars, never look a stranger in the eyes, and don't beat kids - no, seriously, they have guns now.

*takes a deep breath* Sorry about that, but anyway, it looks like you're focusing on the downsides in life. The fact that some people are open with their rough times doesn't mean that they are losers. EVERYONE goes through a tough time at least ONCE in their life, that's simply the world we live in, and if it stops at that one tough time then you can consider yourself extremely lucky. But just because someone is without a job, without a family or are generally depressed, that doesn't mean that said person is a loser. Try looking at their positive qualities instead, and, if they feel bad, try cheering them up instead of calling them things they are not.

This is an international forum that represents the world as a whole. It's not just on here that people have problems like unemployment or whatever. Like I said, welcome to the real world. If going on this forum makes you a loser, then that's ok, because by that logic you already ARE a loser for even living on this planet.

So, yeah... drop the terms like "pathetic" and "loser". No one gave you the right to judge other people without even knowing them first. And if you're still going to, then at least judge their character rather than their social status. But either way it's pretty rude to say things like that openly, although you are entitled to your opinion. I don't take offense, but I bet some people will.

 

[Babyshambles]

I'm no psychologist.

But it seems like you want me to be wrong a little bit too much?

I only asked a question. I never called you a loser, I never called us a loser.

But you've got to admit that everyone on here seems to have enough issues to keep the shrinks in Crystal champagne and Saville Row suits all the way through the recession.

... What?
You think that proclaiming and asking "does coming on this site make me a loser?" is NOT going to get negative responses??

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
I'm sorry, k ... well no I am NOT sorry ... I've seen some of your other posts like the whole "Am I being Ignored" post .. saying that Americans are cruel because no one said anything to your previous post ... yeah, wow.

You wanna know what I think makes YOU a loser ???
Coming on this site and making blunt statements like that. It's completely uncalled for and rude. Ugh.



Skip
You are my HERO!

 

[Babyshambles]

Look at it this way.

Let's say I manged to get myself onto the Multimillionaires with Hot Blond Mistresses Anonymous Forum and asked the question...

"Does coming on to this site make me a loser?"

What do you think the response would be?

It certainly wouldn't be: -

"You need help pal!!!"

and

"I'm not a loser - screw you!!"

etc.

So do the overly-sensitive responses bear out my suspicions - that we are actually a pathetic bunch?

... What?
You think that proclaiming and asking "does coming on this site make me a loser?" is NOT going to get negative responses??

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
I'm sorry, k ... well no I am NOT sorry ... I've seen some of your other posts like the whole "Am I being Ignored" post .. saying that Americans are cruel because no one said anything to your previous post ... yeah, wow.

You wanna know what I think makes YOU a loser ???
Coming on this site and making blunt statements like that. It's completely uncalled for and rude. Ugh.



Skip
You are my HERO!

 

[TMF Jeff]

to kind of get ahead of things here, let's keep this from getting out of hand please, and keep it at the level of a reasonably civilized discourse

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

Look at it this way.

Let's say I manged to get myself onto the Multimillionaires with Hot Blond Mistresses Anonymous Forum and asked the question...

"Does coming on to this site make me a loser?"

What do you think the response would be?

It certainly wouldn't be: -

"You need help pal!!!"

and

"I'm not a loser - screw you!!"

etc.

So do the overly-sensitive responses bear out my suspicions - that we are actually a pathetic bunch?

Is being a hot blonde multimillionaire how you view being a non-loser? If so - then you're right. We are 80,000 people worth of big fat loser.

But personally - I think that's a piss-poor definition of a "non-loser."

 

[Babyshambles]

No skip.

But....

Millionaires with hot blond mistresses would probably view themselves as winners.

Does your response indicate that people on this board VIEW THEMSELVES as losers, even if it's not actually true.

I haven't had a single response which is like - "hell no! I love tickling and have met so many great people here. This place is awesome. Trust me dude, this place is full of winners"

I have had responses along the lines of "we all suffer at some times"

and

"Just because I have no job, no home, no friends, no family and a house full of starving cats does NOT make me a loser!! Get help pal"

Is being a hot blonde multimillionaire how you view being a non-loser? If so - then you're right. We are 80,000 people worth of big fat loser.

But personally - I think that's a piss-poor definition of a "non-loser."

 

[Knot Amewzed]

Look at it this way.

Let's say I manged to get myself onto the Multimillionaires with Hot Blond Mistresses Anonymous Forum and asked the question...

"Does coming on to this site make me a loser?"

What do you think the response would be?

It certainly wouldn't be: -

"You need help pal!!!"

and

"I'm not a loser - screw you!!"

etc.

So do the overly-sensitive responses bear out my suspicions - that we are actually a pathetic bunch?

Your response is too vague to even see where you are going with this. It appears that you are suggesting that if one is not a millionaire and does not have a hot blonde as a mistress, that individual may be perceived as a loser. Perhaps you are suggesting that people who are sensitive to criticism are losers.

I feel like I am having a one sided conversation with a below average 4th grader; I apologize that I cannot see the validity of your argument.

 

[-Hari-]

No matter what situation your in, if you can still be happy and you do your best, you are still a winner.

Ide wager there are plenty of rich and famous people who fee like losers, we all do sometimes.

 

[Babyshambles]

Too vague?

Again, if I was a psychologist, I would perhaps interpret your hostile reaction in an interesting way.

My point is that someone with a million pounds and a hot blonde mistress would be happy with his lot and consider himself a winner in lifes rich pageant.

Would someone on the TMF feel likewise?

Would they suggest I seek medical help and suggest that I have the intelligence of a child?

No. No they would not. Winners would not behave like that.

Your response is too vague to even see where you are going with this. It appears that you are suggesting that if one is not a millionaire and does not have a hot blonde as a mistress, that individual may be perceived as a loser. Perhaps you are suggesting that people who are sensitive to criticism are losers.

I feel like I am having a one sided conversation with a below average 4th grader; I apologize that I cannot see the validity of your argument.

 

[Babyshambles]

No matter what situation your in, if you can still be happy and you do your best, you are still a winner.

Ide wager there are plenty of rich and famous people who fee like losers, we all do sometimes.

I agree entirely. You have a positive outlook on life and would definitely not fall into the category that I was talking about.

Perhaps I do fall into the category - as my good pal knot amazed thinks?

 

[TMF Jeff]

I feel like I am having a one sided conversation with a below average 4th grader;

In all seriousness, reign this in please.

 

[Carsomyr]

My point is that someone with a million pounds and a hot blonde mistress would be happy with his lot and consider himself a winner in lifes rich pageant.

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't. While I wouldn't mind a million pounds, or even mickey mouse monies for that matter, there are things in life I treasure more than bling. Do I even like that blonde mistress of mine, or is it just that she's smoking hot? (I wouldn't care for that if I didn't even like her) Does she like me back, or does she just hang around becaue of my wealth? I would say I'd be more of a loser in such a scenario, since I wouldn't know myself, or who truly loved me.

I'm sorry to say it but it seems like your views are somewhat elitist. At any rate life is not a competition with your fellow humans, and as long as you are happy with your lot in life then I don't see how wealth should be an issue. If it's what makes YOU happy then congrats, I hope you win the lottery. I know I am spouting a lot of clichés here, but it's the way I actually feel about it.

Tl;Dr: I don't see the point in labeling people "winners and losers", especially since they are such relative terms

 

[Knot Amewzed]

Too vague?

Again, if I was a psychologist, I would perhaps interpret your hostile reaction in an interesting way.

My point is that someone with a million pounds and a hot blonde mistress would be happy with his lot and consider himself a winner in lifes rich pageant.

Would someone on the TMF feel likewise?

Would they suggest I seek medical help and suggest that I have the intelligence of a child?

No. No they would not. Winners would not behave like that.

Please do not misinterpret direct reactions for hostility. As your OP was blunt, my counter was equally as honest.

As Haribish suggests, the representation of being a winner does not necessarily mean physical possessions and other materialistic aspects of life.

I was not questioning your intelligence just the mere ambiguity of your statement. For you to say that a winner would not question your intelligence or suggest that you seek medical help is an exaggerated comment or a hyperbole (hi-per-boo-lee...right Liz...lol). There is no way that you could evaluate the true meaning of a winner let alone assess that a winner would not behave like that.

Would they (winners) suggest I seek medical help and suggest that I have the intelligence of a child?

No. No they would not. Winners would not behave like that.

I believe that I am a winner and earlier I suggested that you see a therapist. Hmm..there goes your theory.

 

[Babyshambles]

Please do not misinterpret direct reactions for hostility. As your OP was blunt, my counter was equally as honest.

As Haribish suggests, the representation of being a winner does not necessarily mean physical possessions and other materialistic aspects of life.

I was not questioning your intelligence just the mere ambiguity of your statement. For you to say that a winner would not question your intelligence or suggest that you seek medical help is an exaggerated comment or a hyperbole (hi-per-boo-lee...right Liz...lol). There is no way that you could evaluate the true meaning of a winner let alone assess that a winner would not behave like that.


I believe that I am a winner and earlier I suggested that you see a therapist. Hmm..there goes your theory.

My OP was too blunt. That might account for the hostile reaction.

You look like a winner if that counts for anything (well, apart from th axe photo

I'll learn to pad out my posts and make them seem less blunt.

 

[BellaRisa]

Shambles, it's up to you to decide whether you choose to see the glass as half empty or half full. Of course there are people here with troubles, just like the rest of society. And it's a wonderful thing that they're not afraid to discuss their issues, because they feel amongst friends here. There's nothing about being honest about your life that makes one 'undesireable', as you so unkindly put it. As people have mentioned, there are just as many folks on this forum who have great careers and loving families and a shiny outlook on life as there are folks with difficult obstacles. Which group you focus on says more about you than the forum members.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

I don't even know where to start.

Well, I guess I'll just start by proving you wrong.

Millionaires with hot blond mistresses would probably view themselves as winners.

Having an excess of money, and a hot blonde mistress, would likely not cause one to view himself as a winner. Case in point - people who win the lottery, or find themselves otherwise in possession of a large sum of money, often suffer from very severe depression, self-harm, and suicide attempts. The responsibilties that come with being in possession of a large sum of money increase the stress on the individual in question, oftentimes proving to be more than the person can handle.

Having a hot blonde mistress implies that the man is cheating on his wife or significant other, which implies that he is, in fact, unhappy at home. He seeks sexual gratification outside of his marriage, which undoubtedly puts a strain on him at home. The time spent with his hot blonde mistress is likely empty, and in general, he probably feels unfulfilled.

Does your response indicate that people on this board VIEW THEMSELVES as losers, even if it's not actually true.

I have no idea what in my response led you to the conclusion that I was stating that the people on this board view themselves as losers. I was criticizing your criteria for what keeps a person from being a loser. My statement about everyone here being a loser was dripping with sarcasm. Sorry if you didn't get that.

I haven't had a single response which is like - "hell no! I love tickling and have met so many great people here. This place is awesome. Trust me dude, this place is full of winners"

Please refer to my first response. It was exactly what you're saying you haven't seen here.

I have had responses along the lines of "we all suffer at some times"

and

"Just because I have no job, no home, no friends, no family and a house full of starving cats does NOT make me a loser!! Get help pal"

I, too, have been keeping up with this thread. I've seen the responses you've received, but thanks anyway for the briefing.