CapturedDoll
Verified
- Joined
- Jul 27, 2014
- Messages
- 4,924
- Points
- 48
“Tickling Skills”
Now- to the person who wrote me this question. I’m NOT naming you. This is about the question itself.
Towards the end of his mail, he asked:
“Next question…. are your Ler skills up to par???? I don’t know… :/ “
To give some context here… I’ve only heard from this person as of last week. I don’t know who he is. I don’t know anything about him. But even if I DID: That’s a bit of an offputting way to approach the topic of “skills”. With only 3 mails sent to me, with my 3 responses back. Nice enough person don’t misunderstand me. He’s new here, etc. And I wrote that I was fine with answering questions. But, I could see maybe if he had asked. “How much experience have you had?” THAT is far more appropriate. But that’s not why I’m bringing this up.
The point of this post is... You can sit here and have 30 years of experience/ skills… That doesn't mean a lee is going to enjoy the Ler and session. Everyone (Both Ler and lee) has different expectations. (And I’m not including Professional Dominants and Switches for this post.)
Lees: Different moods.. different levels of ticklishness… different headspace expectations… different fantasies - different touch- light/ medium/ deep/ a mix. Playful /sadistic/ Romantic etc. Restraints/ no restraints.
There could be a person who has ZERO experience… and if I and that person tickled the same lee: There is not one ounce of evidence that would suggest, that I would be the prefered Ler. Or rather, have the best set of skills. Not one. Idc who you are. (And btw- some of you Lers who don’t have any experiences yet- are underestimating yourselves for absolutely no reason. Or to think you’re “bad” at it, based on 1 or 2 experiences.) Every lee is different. You may have things to learn about technique… but labeling yourself before you acquire the knowledge you want… “bad” isn’t correct. How bout just say… ‘I’m at level one". Whatever you wish. But bad? That’s really undercutting yourself, before you meet someone. Or go to an event. Don’t do it. Just a suggestion.
There is no way ANYONE can judge someone’s skills based on anything resembling a resume so to speak, beforehand. You will know if you had a good experience, once the session is over. And even then.. maybe it won’t be good the first time. People are nervous when letting a new person touch them/ tickle them. Or maybe they just aren’t ticklish that day. Or maybe you might have pressed on them too hard. (Maybe the lee is more fragile, and the Ler too strong.) There are so many factors… chemistry as well.
I learned this by not having ONE experience yet, with anyone here. I learned it by reading and chatting with people. This is the conclusion I came to after the last 4 years of constant interractions. And wondering what NEST and other events will be like. And seeing how different everyone is. Just sitting back and watching people talk about their experiences. Quite frankly, I'm intimidated. Not by "skills". But by expectations. All valid of course. But... so many aren't leaving themselves open to whatever the experience will be. No one can draw out an acute roadmap on this for someone. Basic wants, points and boundaries, absolutely.
I don't want to let anyone down when I'm in Ler mode! Or lee. But I know I'm going to. That was a sad realization I had. It's true. But I can't blame myself too much if that is what ultimately happens. Unless I accidentally hurt someone. Press too hard, etc. That can be part of it too. Everything with a grain of salt.
So, to end this post… gauging someone before hand… "skills" is pointless. Being on the same page with what you want to do is a different story and expected to be discussed. I think the only thing a person could judge someone else on upfront is their personaility and bondage skills. Rope tying skills. Taking someone on a head trip.. Although that is going to vary on reviews from one lee to another as well. And their RP skills lol.
As far as I am concerned… I don’t want to judge someone based on experience. Or lack of. I will judge the session and how the experience overall was. And if the Ler was a good match for me in our time together. If not, that's life. And it's not the end of the world. I plan on experiencing, hopefully, hundreds of people. Lers and lees. (crosses fingers) If I sat here and judged people beforehand on their previous experience/ “skills” (or lees and their ticklish levels…) I would risk missing out on some fun experiences. Guaranteed.
I love being put on a pedestal where people think I’m awesome. Or will be with them. But… skills? I think that’s all in the eye of the lee. And no 2 experiences are ever the same. That’s part of the beauty of Tickling and Tickle Torture. And the lees we play with. "Like a box of chocolates..."
Thoughts?
Now- to the person who wrote me this question. I’m NOT naming you. This is about the question itself.
Towards the end of his mail, he asked:
“Next question…. are your Ler skills up to par???? I don’t know… :/ “
To give some context here… I’ve only heard from this person as of last week. I don’t know who he is. I don’t know anything about him. But even if I DID: That’s a bit of an offputting way to approach the topic of “skills”. With only 3 mails sent to me, with my 3 responses back. Nice enough person don’t misunderstand me. He’s new here, etc. And I wrote that I was fine with answering questions. But, I could see maybe if he had asked. “How much experience have you had?” THAT is far more appropriate. But that’s not why I’m bringing this up.
The point of this post is... You can sit here and have 30 years of experience/ skills… That doesn't mean a lee is going to enjoy the Ler and session. Everyone (Both Ler and lee) has different expectations. (And I’m not including Professional Dominants and Switches for this post.)
Lees: Different moods.. different levels of ticklishness… different headspace expectations… different fantasies - different touch- light/ medium/ deep/ a mix. Playful /sadistic/ Romantic etc. Restraints/ no restraints.
There could be a person who has ZERO experience… and if I and that person tickled the same lee: There is not one ounce of evidence that would suggest, that I would be the prefered Ler. Or rather, have the best set of skills. Not one. Idc who you are. (And btw- some of you Lers who don’t have any experiences yet- are underestimating yourselves for absolutely no reason. Or to think you’re “bad” at it, based on 1 or 2 experiences.) Every lee is different. You may have things to learn about technique… but labeling yourself before you acquire the knowledge you want… “bad” isn’t correct. How bout just say… ‘I’m at level one". Whatever you wish. But bad? That’s really undercutting yourself, before you meet someone. Or go to an event. Don’t do it. Just a suggestion.
There is no way ANYONE can judge someone’s skills based on anything resembling a resume so to speak, beforehand. You will know if you had a good experience, once the session is over. And even then.. maybe it won’t be good the first time. People are nervous when letting a new person touch them/ tickle them. Or maybe they just aren’t ticklish that day. Or maybe you might have pressed on them too hard. (Maybe the lee is more fragile, and the Ler too strong.) There are so many factors… chemistry as well.
I learned this by not having ONE experience yet, with anyone here. I learned it by reading and chatting with people. This is the conclusion I came to after the last 4 years of constant interractions. And wondering what NEST and other events will be like. And seeing how different everyone is. Just sitting back and watching people talk about their experiences. Quite frankly, I'm intimidated. Not by "skills". But by expectations. All valid of course. But... so many aren't leaving themselves open to whatever the experience will be. No one can draw out an acute roadmap on this for someone. Basic wants, points and boundaries, absolutely.
I don't want to let anyone down when I'm in Ler mode! Or lee. But I know I'm going to. That was a sad realization I had. It's true. But I can't blame myself too much if that is what ultimately happens. Unless I accidentally hurt someone. Press too hard, etc. That can be part of it too. Everything with a grain of salt.
So, to end this post… gauging someone before hand… "skills" is pointless. Being on the same page with what you want to do is a different story and expected to be discussed. I think the only thing a person could judge someone else on upfront is their personaility and bondage skills. Rope tying skills. Taking someone on a head trip.. Although that is going to vary on reviews from one lee to another as well. And their RP skills lol.
As far as I am concerned… I don’t want to judge someone based on experience. Or lack of. I will judge the session and how the experience overall was. And if the Ler was a good match for me in our time together. If not, that's life. And it's not the end of the world. I plan on experiencing, hopefully, hundreds of people. Lers and lees. (crosses fingers) If I sat here and judged people beforehand on their previous experience/ “skills” (or lees and their ticklish levels…) I would risk missing out on some fun experiences. Guaranteed.
I love being put on a pedestal where people think I’m awesome. Or will be with them. But… skills? I think that’s all in the eye of the lee. And no 2 experiences are ever the same. That’s part of the beauty of Tickling and Tickle Torture. And the lees we play with. "Like a box of chocolates..."
Thoughts?
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