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I'm going on a trip to Moscow in a few weeks and I'm wondering: Does anybody here know of any sensual massage parlors in Moscow where I can try finding a masseuse who will tickle me? Thanks. M

The following appeared today on Modern Drummer Magazine's website: To our drummer, percussionist, and drum-industry friends around the world: It is with great sadness that we report the passing of Ronald Spagnardi, founder and publisher of Modern Drummer Publications. Ron died Monday...

You Know You're Italian When... 1- Your backyard consists of 1/8 grass and 7/8 tomatoes and radicchio. 2- You have more pictures of Jesus' Mother Mary on your walls than family members. 3- Baptisms and engagement parties are twice or three times as big as American weddings. 4- You shave your...

You Know You're Italian When... 1- You have more aunts than you can count out on your two hands. 2- Your brother can have 3 girlfriends all sleep over at the same time, but your sister, who is 19, has to be in bed by 7. 3- You are currently in therapy over bad dreams about leather belts and...

1- Two words... "Ally McNaked". 2- When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in: Cop: "You know how fast you were going?" You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place." Cop : "Nice one, That's $10.00 off"...

1- Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the butt and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it. 2- Birth control would come in ale or lager. 3- Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in every leap year. 4- On Groundhog Day, if...

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there thinks you're a fat skank. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Probably because you'd be on your knees...

Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 25 years with only suitably shaped holes in trees for sex. Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure. One day, deep in the wild, she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting into a jungle oak...

There was a guy named John, who was the most positive guy in the world. Every time someone said something negative, John would always say, "it could have been worse." One day, John's co-workers all got together and decided to come up with a scenario so bad that John wouldn't be able to say that...

Level 1: It's 11pm on a weeknight and you've had a few beers. You get up to leave because you have to work the next day, but one of your friends buys you another round. One of your unemployed friends. You think to yourself, Oh come on, this is silly, as long as I get seven hours of sleep, I'm...

There were three explorers, hiking through what is now known as Canada. "You know," said one of the explorers, "we should name this place we're hiking through." "I know," said the second explorer. "We'll each pick a letter and then make a name out of that." "Okay," said the third, "I'll go...

1- You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me. 2- The new girl in my office is a real beauty, and a stripper too! I invited her over for dinner on Friday. 3- Honey, did you leave that skid in the toilet bowl? Good one! 4- While you were in the bathroom...

Maria was a good Catholic girl, as was her fiancé Guido. So the two of them never had sex until the night of their wedding. Now Guido and Maria didn't have enough money to go on a honeymoon and their apartment wouldn't be ready for another couple of days, so Maria's mother told them to use the...

10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. They have breasts.

A young journalism student at the University of Tennessee was assigned to write a human interest story. He went into the mountains to do some research. There, he found an old farmer sitting on his porch, introduced himself, and explained his mission. The young man asked, "Has anything ever...

After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office. "Mr. James, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home...

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, who's tired just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the...

25- Boldly going nowhere. 24- Heart Attacks... God's revenge for eating his animal friends. 23- How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost? 22- CATS -- The other white meat. 21- Don't be sexist -- broads hate that. 20- I'm an imbecile and I vote. 19- Money Isn't...

"You get this one, next round is on me." (We won't be here long enough to get another round.) "I'll get this one, next round is on you." (Happy hour is about to end...beers are now a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop, sucker.) "Hey, where is that friend of yours?" (I have no...