Male Comebacks

[Maurizio]

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there thinks you're a fat skank.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Probably because you'd be on your knees greeting my crotch.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: That's cool, 'cause after I get done nailing you in the back of my car... I don't give a crap where you go.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: No problem, I can always withdraw onto your face

Man: Do you want to dance?
Woman: No!
Man: I think you misheard me. I said you look fat in those pants.

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: That works for me... as long as you're still warm when I do you.

 

[amk714]

Back atcha, baby!

I need to print out this list and memorize it

 

[Marauder]

Sounds like A.D. Clay humor... Never liked him much...

Be careful not to step over the fine line between humor and misogynism there...

I liked the other posts better. This one lacks criticism to be funny, but that's just my opinion. But then again, I'm a man, so what do I know...

 

[Krokus]

heh.

Funny as hell. Im gonna use a few of these. (If the situation ever arises)

 

[areenactor]

thank you

those were hilaious!

steve

 

[kurchatovium]

How about this one courtesy of the comedian Emo Phillips:

Woman: I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last man on Earth.

Man: If I were the last man on Earth you wouldn't even be in the line.

 

[amk714]

Emo Phillips--funny name, funny joke!

 

[BigJim]

Nice to know there is such a thing as a male comeback!