Marquis De Sade
1st Level Blue Feather
- Joined
- Nov 21, 2007
- Messages
- 5,175
- Points
- 0
It seems a lot of posts and threads over the past few months have been about coming out about what turns you on, sharing with your partners, etc. and there seems to be so much fear and hesitation about it.
In some cases, the mere mention of the actual word itself, "Tickle".
It's really gotten me wondering WHY it's such a big deal. What're you afraid of? What emotional connotations have you wrapped that word in that make you so hesitant? There are a multitude of fetishes that would, and I'm speculating here, produce much, MUCH more of a negative reception if they were shared with a loved one. Adults who like to be dressed in diapers, people that are turned on when someone defecates or urinates on them, extreme rape fantasies, etc.
Being a member of a forum, almost a secret subculture if you will, is indeed a little different from coming out and letting your partner in on what turns you on, sure. You have friends with funny screen names your partner might not know about it, some close, some you've actually met and talked to. That might be a little harder. Especially if it's been on ongoing thing for years. So those are two separate things - coming out about your fetish and coming out about being a member here.
But why soooo hesitant about coming out? Again, out of all the fetishes, it's most likely one of the most fun, one of the most playful, enjoyable and sensual and harmless kinks. It's bases lies in the sensations of TOUCH and LAUGHTER. Both of which are HOT and are tied into PLEASURE and SENSUALITY and sexuality. Not to mention the primal inherent aspects of control and submission, trust, etc. So...why the big deal? Why the HUGE deal? Is it perhaps out of guilt? You being a member here and keeping it a secret? Or is it because you really, truly fear what the other person will say? Be laughed at? Rejected? Labeled a freak?
Has being on here skewered your perception in any way at all about what's socially acceptable?
Here's my take on it and one of you has heard this before and agreed with me. I'd just like some more opinions. When Hugh Hefner started Playboy he didn't apologize for putting boobs on the cover of his magazines. He wasn't shy about it, he didn't slap the magazines with any label - "BOOB FETISH", "VAGINA FETISH" He came up with a catchy name and BOOM, tits and ass was born. He PUT them right in your face and pretty soon, it was socially acceptable to walk around wearing Ed Hardy crap and jabba on about how much T&A you're getting. The media has TOLD us boobs and ass and even legs are hot. That it's OKAY to say that out loud to your friends and partners and I can't help but feel if Hugh or anyone else has done with tickling what was done with T&A, none of this would be the huge deal that it seems to be.
Next time you're with that special someone, given the right mood, the right settings, set of circumstances, etc. let that person know, somehow, some way, what turns you on. Why feel bad, shy, disgusted, fearful about it? It's what YOU'RE into and who you're with should care enough to explore it with you, or at least give it a shot and see if it does anything for them. It's better than keeping that part of you locked away because you're not being fully present both in the relationship or in bed. There's something missing and that something just might take your relationship or sex life to a whole new level.
And, before anyone asks me about personally, I'm lucky enough to function at a 100% without it. If there's no burning need to, why tell? Vanilla sex works just fine for me, as does vanilla foreplay. If there is that need or urge to take something a little higher, then I'll share, and I learned a long time ago it's HOW you say something not WHAT you say. Given the right set of circumstances, the right mood and setting, and made unique to that person, a positive reaction is usually what gets returned.
Again, one more reminder, I don't mean coming out about being here. That's a whole other issue of privacy.
In some cases, the mere mention of the actual word itself, "Tickle".
It's really gotten me wondering WHY it's such a big deal. What're you afraid of? What emotional connotations have you wrapped that word in that make you so hesitant? There are a multitude of fetishes that would, and I'm speculating here, produce much, MUCH more of a negative reception if they were shared with a loved one. Adults who like to be dressed in diapers, people that are turned on when someone defecates or urinates on them, extreme rape fantasies, etc.
Being a member of a forum, almost a secret subculture if you will, is indeed a little different from coming out and letting your partner in on what turns you on, sure. You have friends with funny screen names your partner might not know about it, some close, some you've actually met and talked to. That might be a little harder. Especially if it's been on ongoing thing for years. So those are two separate things - coming out about your fetish and coming out about being a member here.
But why soooo hesitant about coming out? Again, out of all the fetishes, it's most likely one of the most fun, one of the most playful, enjoyable and sensual and harmless kinks. It's bases lies in the sensations of TOUCH and LAUGHTER. Both of which are HOT and are tied into PLEASURE and SENSUALITY and sexuality. Not to mention the primal inherent aspects of control and submission, trust, etc. So...why the big deal? Why the HUGE deal? Is it perhaps out of guilt? You being a member here and keeping it a secret? Or is it because you really, truly fear what the other person will say? Be laughed at? Rejected? Labeled a freak?
Has being on here skewered your perception in any way at all about what's socially acceptable?
Here's my take on it and one of you has heard this before and agreed with me. I'd just like some more opinions. When Hugh Hefner started Playboy he didn't apologize for putting boobs on the cover of his magazines. He wasn't shy about it, he didn't slap the magazines with any label - "BOOB FETISH", "VAGINA FETISH" He came up with a catchy name and BOOM, tits and ass was born. He PUT them right in your face and pretty soon, it was socially acceptable to walk around wearing Ed Hardy crap and jabba on about how much T&A you're getting. The media has TOLD us boobs and ass and even legs are hot. That it's OKAY to say that out loud to your friends and partners and I can't help but feel if Hugh or anyone else has done with tickling what was done with T&A, none of this would be the huge deal that it seems to be.
Next time you're with that special someone, given the right mood, the right settings, set of circumstances, etc. let that person know, somehow, some way, what turns you on. Why feel bad, shy, disgusted, fearful about it? It's what YOU'RE into and who you're with should care enough to explore it with you, or at least give it a shot and see if it does anything for them. It's better than keeping that part of you locked away because you're not being fully present both in the relationship or in bed. There's something missing and that something just might take your relationship or sex life to a whole new level.
And, before anyone asks me about personally, I'm lucky enough to function at a 100% without it. If there's no burning need to, why tell? Vanilla sex works just fine for me, as does vanilla foreplay. If there is that need or urge to take something a little higher, then I'll share, and I learned a long time ago it's HOW you say something not WHAT you say. Given the right set of circumstances, the right mood and setting, and made unique to that person, a positive reaction is usually what gets returned.
Again, one more reminder, I don't mean coming out about being here. That's a whole other issue of privacy.