Are we all really swtiches?

[BellaRisa]

Hi All,

Over the weekend I was with a few friends, and some insist that we're all switches, at least to some degree-that no one wants to be in control or be controlled all the time. I can see that point of view, but I've met Tops/'Lers who have no desire to bottom, and absolutely no need to sub-and the other way 'round. Or so they said, and I believed them. What's your take on this, folks? Are there 100% Tops/bottoms, or all we all switches to some degree? Thanks!

 

[AffectionateDan]

As with SOOOOO many other things, Bella dear...

...people's need to Top/Bottom/Ler/Lee/Whatever is going to run the spectrum, from one absolute to the furthest extreme opposite. I can call myself a %100 Top without fear of contradiction, and yet, even so, I've been known to bottom for the right person or occasion, not out of some need or desire, but just to play well with others. There are SO many grey areas here, but bottom line is, to answer your question, no. We're not all switches. Just my $.02

 

[Novus]

We are all switchers

I ask how can someone enjoy tickling if they don't know what it feels like to be tickled or conversely enjoy being tickled and not know the joys of tickling others? I really enjoy tickling others because I know what the ticklees are going through and that enhances the experiance. As a ticklee I know how much joy I can bring the tickler by giving myself to them. Tickling is a two way street and there has to be empathy and trust for tickling to work at an emotional level. However, this is the paradox of tickling; like the chicken and the egg what came first the tickler or the ticklee. Just something to ponder.

 

[milagros317]

Re: As with SOOOOO many other things, Bella dear...

Originally posted by AffectionateDan (most deleted)
... for the right person ...

I believe that that is the key phrase. The vast majority of us would be willing to assume the opposite to our usual role for the right person.

But all? All is too strong a statement.

 

[ericr]

I tend to agree with Novus that switching is the way to fully appreciate the tickling experience as either a ler or a lee. Furthermore, it seems to happen naturally in playful tickle fights, etc. But then, I am very ticklish, mostly a ler and have done some switching, so I have experienced what Novus says. The hitch is that there seem to be some avid lers who are just not ticklish at all; there is no way they can switch. Perhaps they are intigued by by the mystery of what it feels like to be ticklish and by the reactions us ticklish folks have to being tickled.

 

[drew70]

I guess it depends...

...on how you define tickler and ticklee. For me, I've always defined them in terms of desire or compulsion. A Ler is compelled to tickle. A Lee desires to be tickled. But that doesn't mean that either will not assume the opposite role from time to time to accomodate others. Dan's a good example. He's a Ler, through and through. But being the cool guy he is, he sometimes lays that compulsion aside and asumes the opposite role, so that some of the ladies can dish it out. Does that make him a switch? Not by this definition.

However, if you define tickler or ticklee strictly in terms of their actions, past or present, then yes we're all probably switches. I'm strictly 100% Lee myself. Yet at the few gatherings in which I've participated, I've tried my hand at tickling. One thing I found is that being one tickler out of several tickling the same woman, I found it nearly impossible to gauge what affect (if any) I was having. On another occasion, I tickled a woman one on one while she was restrained and it was kind of fun, mostly because I knew she was enjoying it. But after a while I found myself tiring of it, because I lacked that compulsion that drives a true Ler to keep going.

 

[BellaRisa]

I tend to agree with Novus that switching is the way to fully appreciate the tickling experience as either a ler or a lee.

Hmmm...I'm not sure I posed the issue properly. I'm not asking whether people 'should' switch, but whether we're all switches. There's a difference between switching and *being* a switch. A switch, by the definition we were using (yours may vary and that's cool) enjoys both topping and bottoming, to some degree. My friends were saying that all of us like both at least a little, even if some don't like to admit it for whatever reason. While not disagreeing I wonder about that, because I know people who genuinely dislike one or the other, and they don't appear to have some 'magic button' that the right person can press to change that. They may switch to see what it's like or to please someone, but they don't enjoy it nearly as much as a true bottom or top and would gladly keep to just one role given the choice. I was told that these folks just weren't admitting it...

More thoughts?

Bella

 

[qjakal]

Re: I guess it depends...

But after a while I found myself tiring of it, because I lacked that compulsion that drives a true Ler to keep going.

Yup. Well put Drew. The intensity that a 'ler feels is a fearsome emotion, and most true blue ones actually feed on the tickling and get stronger and more ravenous as time passes. I consider myself about as 100% 'ler as they come, but I have also "switched" in name only for long time associates if desired. Just common courtesy really.. Q

 

[edv]

Hmmmmm. For years I considered myself strcitly a ler. Although I've always enjoyed all aspects of tickling, I was never really compelled to explore that side of my fetish however, until a gathering a few years ago. I think Bella knows what I'm talking about. Anyway, the SITUATION just seemed right. I'm not really comfortable just giving all my power away like that. But I am REALLY ticklish, and I enjoy that intense rush that comes from a brutal all out tickle torture session, but I don't enjoy being dominated...that feeling of not being able to get away. Does that make sense?


Peace

Ed

Ps. Hi Bella

 

[TickledToDeath]

I can only speak for myself. I am a true switch although there are times when I am in more of a mood to be one or the other.

I have however come to know people who are definatly LER or LEE and not a switch.

TTD

 

[JoBelle]

I've always heard friends joke about so&so who is a closet Sub or Top-Wanna-Be. I've given a littlebit of thought to it. I guess I'm a true switch in that I CRAVE both sides. Im greedy like that.

HOWEVER---asking if all people are like that? I'd have to say no. There is a very simple reason I say this. I think that for certain activities in our lives, we hold a role. Sexually, or activity oriented, you may find a man is a complete and total Dom. There's no way around it. He's all business and that's a good thing. Then take him into another one of his environments. He could be more subdued....less aggressive. He may be ...*GASP*... somewhat of a submissive personality.

I think our different roles in life give us the opportunity to play different characters, thusly teaching us different things that we need to learn to feel whole. So, without a doubt, I feel some of them are going to be 100% for a certain space of time.

*shrug* Don't know if it makes sense to anyone but me.

Jo, ticklish Tickler, at your service.

 

[Haltickling]

Times are changing...

I used to be an avid switch until a few years ago. Then I became less and less ticklish myself (as a result of health problems), and I'm almost unticklish now. So I turned from a pure switch (if there is something like that at all) to a pure 'ler. I still don't mind to be tied down and enjoy the handing over of control, because there is so much more to achieve by bondage than a mere tickling... :dream:

 

[Phineas]

I switched once, but it held no interest for me. I'm a tickler, 100% of the way. No switching for me.

 

[AffectionateDan]

Re: I guess it depends...

...on how you define tickler and ticklee. For me, I've always defined them in terms of desire or compulsion. A Ler is compelled to tickle. A Lee desires to be tickled. But that doesn't mean that either will not assume the opposite role from time to time to accomodate others. Dan's a good example. He's a Ler, through and through. But being the cool guy he is, he sometimes lays that compulsion aside and asumes the opposite role, so that some of the ladies can dish it out. Does that make him a switch? Not by this definition.

However, if you define tickler or ticklee strictly in terms of their actions, past or present, then yes we're all probably switches. I'm strictly 100% Lee myself. Yet at the few gatherings in which I've participated, I've tried my hand at tickling. One thing I found is that being one tickler out of several tickling the same woman, I found it nearly impossible to gauge what affect (if any) I was having. On another occasion, I tickled a woman one on one while she was restrained and it was kind of fun, mostly because I knew she was enjoying it. But after a while I found myself tiring of it, because I lacked that compulsion that drives a true Ler to keep going.

See, now this is one of the things I so love about this forum... everyone gets their say, and more often than not, it's well thought-out, rational responses to interesting topics. Excellent points, Drew.

 

[AffectionateDan]

LMFAO!

I've always heard friends joke about so&so who is a closet Sub or Top-Wanna-Be. I've given a littlebit of thought to it. I guess I'm a true switch in that I CRAVE both sides. Im greedy like that.

Jobelle, you crack me the hell UP!

 

[njjen3953]

Re: I guess it depends...

But after a while I found myself tiring of it, because I lacked that compulsion that drives a true Ler to keep going.

It is the same for me, Drew. That is why I was happy to have bella and lite join in at NEST. I don't know if I would have lasted the whole 22 minutes. LOL

But, I think that if I knew my victim had intense revenge on his mind, I would force myself to stick it out.

 

[JPie1]

I am a definite switch, although I really do feel more of my ler side coming out at times...as I get more experience I feel the need to be a lee is depending on company.

Oh I love to watch people wiggle...I really get into it..


JPie

 

[Ayla ny]

drew, you summed it up so well. I have felt that tickling compulsion too. sometimes very intensely. sometimes very VERY intensely. but when it comes right down to it, and I get to tickle... that need fades and I find myself thinking, “my turn!”

 

[TickledToDeath]

drew, you summed it up so well. I have felt that tickling compulsion too. sometimes very intensely. sometimes very VERY intensely. but when it comes right down to it, and I get to tickle... that need fades and I find myself thinking, “my turn!”

Goooooood to know Ayla_NY....gooooood to know.
See ya at SBG!!!!



TTD

 

[Ayla ny]

Goooooood to know Ayla_NY....gooooood to know.
See ya at SBG!!!!

I’ll be the one in the snowmobile suit.

 

[kurchatovium]

I guess I'm a kinda of switch but I am a little bit more of a 'ler than a 'lee. However I think variety spices things up very nicely in the bedroom so if things become very one sided it might get a bit boring. For that reason I think I would almost definitely switch.

 

[BellaRisa]

Thanks, but, um...

Um, guys? A lot of you are just telling us whether or not youswitch, which is cool but not what I asked . My question was wheter you think we're all actually switches, and why or why not.

Personally, I don't think we are-I am, as many of you know , but I've met many people who swear they're only a top or bottom, and the idea of going the other way does nothing for them. I have friends who insist that everyone can enjoy the opposite role under the right circumstances, but I really think some of us just aren't wired to enjoy both sides. I liken it to my being left-handed; I HATE using my right hand to try writing, even holding things feels kinda oogy-my whole body feels wrong and off-kilter. Thoughts?

Bella

 

[areenactor]

Hi All,

Over the weekend I was with a few friends, and some insist that we're all switches, at least to some degree-that no one wants to be in control or be controlled all the time. I can see that point of view, but I've met Tops/'Lers who have no desire to bottom, and absolutely no need to sub-and the other way 'round. Or so they said, and I believed them. What's your take on this, folks? Are there 100% Tops/bottoms, or all we all switches to some degree? Thanks!

i personaly like to switch. i believe most folks are the same. but i also believe it depends on whom one is playing with.
there are a few folks that are strictly one way, but then i'd never play with them, it's their lost, they are the ones missing out.
steve

 

[Haltickling]

Bella, I think nobody can answer that for another person, let alone for the whole community of ticklefans. So people tell you about their own preferrence, and you may form your own statistics.

Ask a question that nobody can answer and you'll receive a million answers...

 

[TickledToDeath]

I thought I answered it as close as one could answer it.
No Not everyone is a switch and each for his or her own personal reason.

TTD