Being More Secure About My Fetish

[LRufus]

I'm not as shy now when it comes to talking about my tickling fetish on here. Heck, everyone has their own kinks, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. I am now comfortable in admitting that I am, in fact, a pervert. A lonely pervert with a fuck buddy (my ex) who doesn't even share my fetish. Hell, I'm only an autistic 19 year old so I have a lot of growing up to do, so why not enjoy new discoveries about myself instead of being paranoid of what other people think? I just wish I became more comfortable sooner. How long did it take you guys to be secure about your kinks?

 

[milagros317]

Not until my 30's, unfortunately. But there was no internet then so I never knew that many thousands of people shared my erotic interests.

 

[DeaconMye]

My foot fetish... right away! My high school sweet heart knew, she was the first I told. As for the rest not until the last year or so.

 

[Blue Soda]

I've been secure with my foot fetish since I was a teenager, though I've grown even more comfortable with it lately. My tickling fetish is a by-product of my foot and bondage fetish. Plus, my boyfriend really "turned me on" to how fun tickling can be.

 

[OscarTheMonkey]

I've also been OK with what I enjoy for many years. Ultimately, what we enjoy kink wise is pretty mundane. I've seen lost of folks who are really wrestling with their love of feet and/or tickling to the point they won't even tell their significant other - I got over that mindset many years ago, and feel bad that anyone feels they are into something "horrible" or perverted". We're not into something that bizarre.

While I don't want to be judgmental of what anyone enjoys sexually , and is done consensual with another person.... since the onset of the internet I have become aware of many (IMO) sick ,twisted, vile and just plain gross fetishes. You know- the kind of stuff .....{where for all the porn one may enjoy..and odd things we have glanced at ( as we love kink)}- has content you absolutely won't watch because you don't want that image in your mind when see a video posted of it. Think about the people who like these sorts of things ....... How fucking difficult must it be to approach a significant other and explain what gets you off. I feel far more empathy for people in that position than any of us.

 

[chicago]

It took years to be secure about lots of shit besides kinks. Just part of getting older, growing up, maturing. When you're young, the dumbest shit seems like the biggest deal because you have no life experience to provide perspective on what's important, so little things do seem way bigger than they really are. Some people never get there, but for me, it didn't start to really happen until recently; mid 20s. And even now, I have my good and bad days, like everyone else, I'm sure.

 

[Myriads]

I was fairly lucky. For someone who was 15 in 1980, way before the web linked us all together I was cool with myself and my likes.

I'd had a super comprehensive sex ed from my parents around age 10 (which if I look at it in the light of today, it was horridly inappropriate in so many many ways for a 10 yea old, but so it goes) and one of the things that they instilled was that "Everyone likes different things, and just because they are different doesn't make them wrong." And they were speaking directly to fetish behavior when they said that.

So I was lucky that as I grew into my teens I was cool with myself, and was pretty open about what I wanted with my partners and so forth. Did I get rejections and "Wow you are fucked ups?" yes, but I had a lot of fun too, and never questioned myself once.

Myriads

 

[CassandraMarie]

I grew up in a family where sex is something dirty and just looking at a boy will get me pregnant. So naturally any fetish reference meant the person must have something wrong with them.
Even raised in this environment I knew there was something more, that the close-minded opinion was just ludicrous. Exploring was still hard and I always knew something was missing.
But then I hit the lottery, I found my fiancé DeaconMye. when he told me about his foot fetish, I thought it was awesome! As we explored together I discovered my deep seeded need for tickle torture. In that sense I got extremely lucky, I may have known something was missing but I never had to go through the stress of bringing it up in a new relationship. He noticed and simply asked if I had a fetish, I didn't need to think about it was the simplest yes I've ever said.
Everyone has a kink, the world would be a happier place if we just let go of this illusion of "proper" and lived.

 

[helplessandhappy]

You're indeed lucky Myriads. My parents explained sex as "penis goes into vagina and baby is created" and that's it. They never explained sexuality or any of its nuances at all. Life was quite confusing until I discovered the Internet, and then it was still confusing but at least I knew I wasn't the only weirdo out there.

 

[shiftdown]

Welcome to the most fun group of "weirdos" out here

 

[maniactickler]

I will never tell friends or family and be labeled as creepy or weird.

 

[piyr]

It depends how you define secure. I never felt bad or wrong about my desire for tickling but I knew I was different. I was insecure about what other people would think so I never shared it in any relationship. I was more concerned about the girlfriend breaking confidences and getting outed. Maybe I had trust issues? Now, I share my feelings with my wife but still don't discuss it with others because its personal and none of their business. If someone did find out and judged me negatively, intellectually I know that it's their problem not mine, but honestly I'd still feel some embarrassment. I guess because I'm a product of this society. So maybe I'm not 100% secure but I'll give myself a B+ or A-. I don't see that as insecure. To answer your question, I just recently got there so it took to my mid 40's.

 

[duderino84]

I'm not as shy now when it comes to talking about my tickling fetish on here. Heck, everyone has their own kinks, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. I am now comfortable in admitting that I am, in fact, a pervert. A lonely pervert with a fuck buddy (my ex) who doesn't even share my fetish. Hell, I'm only an autistic 19 year old so I have a lot of growing up to do, so why not enjoy new discoveries about myself instead of being paranoid of what other people think? I just wish I became more comfortable sooner. How long did it take you guys to be secure about your kinks?

I became the most comfortable when I accepted most girls I meet would not go past the first date and that the only way to truly enjoy life would be to accept it and not care. I finally realized my kinks and eccentricities were what made me interesting. Low and behold last year I ended up in a 7 month relationship.

Tickling isn't for everyone. Some softies are too soft. But willingness to endure shows some commitment; it's a message that despite all of it she likes you. So go with that.

 

[brad677]

I don't think I will ever feel comfortable in telling my friends or family, as maniactickler said that label of being creepy or weird is too off putting! However, I do think it is great that people have told their partners or girlfriends/wives/husbands/boyfriends, but I still don't think I would feel comfortable doing that. It's scary!! lol

 

[helplessandhappy]

Date someone from here and you won't have to.

 

[brad677]

Date someone from here and you won't have to.

It sounds so easy when it's put like that!

 

[helplessandhappy]

I don't deny how God damn incredibly lucky I've gotten lately.

 

[brad677]

Haha well share the luck around!?

 

[TTT for joy]

I am generally very shy when it comes to discussing anything related to sexuality, so the fact that I have this kink is just a minor setback to all this. When I get comfortable enough to discuss sex related stuff with someone, then I have absolutely no trouble of telling him, that I have tickling fetish.