It kind of makes sense why you haven't met quality people when you're talking about it like it's an inconvenience to your life because your needs aren't met.
Well, to me that would be appear to be the very definition of an inconvenience: God or Nature or whoever/whatever implanted in me this desire to tickle women and there exist women who want to be tickled by a man (and some just by other females; it's all good), and thus it would be hard to term the difficulty in connecting in order to fulfill our perfectly compatible needs in real life as anything other than "inconvenient." I mean, I could be a total self-centered asshole and just attempt to get my own jollies by tickling nonconsensually any ladies who could stand to be with me otherwise, but not only would that be morally wrong but also a tragic waste considering that I know there
are women out there who crave exactly that.
Maybe it's because I actually put myself out there and go to events and create friendships first.
Despite my innate extreme aversion to any kind of socializing, I've actually forced myself to attend NEST, WALLAMP and UNY gatherings precisely because of my lack of success in meeting a partner online, and even though I came away from those events with a few lasting acquaintances, I just was unable to break through the social wall much less establish any relationship with a lady 'lee. I never got the sense that I was being purposefully excluded, but it's just the normal human impulse is to lavish attention on and hang out with people one already knows, and though well-intentioned I don't think most "normal" outgoing folks have much of an idea how to be more inclusive of socially handicapped types like me (which is not to say either that I feel they have any particular duty to). This is in fact a frequent topic at the FetLife groups for the shy and introverted that I peruse.
Usually starting with messaging or emails, then calls and eventually meeting in a public place.
Sure, but very often even those initial efforts lead to absolutely nowhere. Case in point: just a few weeks ago in this very subforum, a woman from "New York" in her 50s like me posted in search of male 'ler play partners, and I sent her a respectful PM but never received a peep in response. Now, in spite of her age I recognize she still may have gotten a ton of other replies she had to grapple with--several indeed responded to her right in
the thread--but I think this points up how a lot of people, especially ones from my generation, are just not responsible, conscientious and considerate when it comes to electronic communication, easily overlooking or deliberately disregarding any obligation to take the time to respond to every single message if even with a simple "Sorry, not interested" (at whatever risk of hurting the recepient's feelings). Again, I think it's in large part due to the fact that we as a species are wired to be preoccupied with here-and-now, in-the-flesh personal relations with family, friends, co-workers etc. and these novel, more ethereal online interactions take a natural back seat. Just the way of the world.
. . . to me making a friendship and creating that kind of connection is what makes the play itself more enjoyable. That trust is needed first.
Well said. All of my lees over the years have been or still are my friends. Trust is essential and it works both ways.
Couldn't agree more. But just finding that potential friend is the stage I've long been stuck at.