Fetlife Advice

[Stocks22]

Hello,

I am trying to meet someone on FetLife. I am trying to build my profile and wanted to see if anyone had advice on gaining friendships and meeting others. I am not asking for someone to put a profile on here of someone they met, but if you had success, what do you think did it? I am a male looking for a female ler or lee. Thank you for any responses.

 

[pool234]

Hey,
My biggest advice would be to try to make it to munches in your area. The best way to demonstrate to others that you're not a creeper is to get out there and be a normal human. Women tend to get bombarded on sites like that by creepy dudes in their inbox and your message may be overlooked, or the people you are messaging may just decide not to reply to you. When you do send a message, it always helps to show that you've read their profile and have interests in common.

It may take time for people to warm up to you at a munch (since people in general can be hesitant to immediately start talking to other people), but as long as you interact and have some good, genuine conversation, people will start to seek you out more in conversation. Remember: people are looking to meet other people too! And those who make the effort to go out to events are more likely to be seriously looking for new friends anyhow.

 

[Iluvkietelen]

I think the most common mistake people make is to think FL is a dating website. You shouldn't regard it as such.
Its considered a community and the best way to meet new people is to get involved.
Attent munches would be the best step.
And don't expect too much too quick... It'll take time and patience.

 

[duderino84]

Hey,
My biggest advice would be to try to make it to munches in your area. The best way to demonstrate to others that you're not a creeper is to get out there and be a normal human. Women tend to get bombarded on sites like that by creepy dudes in their inbox and your message may be overlooked, or the people you are messaging may just decide not to reply to you. When you do send a message, it always helps to show that you've read their profile and have interests in common.

Unfortunately, this. Fetlife as a community emphasizes people having manners and protocol in interactions, hence the titles. People's sexuality can creep them out more than other topics. Interaction on it can be fulfilling, and the lack of it can be emptying.

If it doesn't really ring truer than one time on POF I met a girl who actually got into a discussion with me where fetlife came about. I stuck to being polite as possible but she managed to find my profile and while it was a nice in the moment surprise it felt odd, to say the least.

My recommendation? Go outside and try to talk to people. Better yet, find groups for fun. I don't see any fetlife glory munches or whatever crap in my area and hey, if I decided to go out on a trek, what would I get but a trek pretty much every time I wanted to meet to basically just be myself?

Good luck, keep working on yourself, just don't try to live in a fantasy.