finding your soulmate in the community

[tickleteasing]

I have tried in the past few months to start looking for miss Right and to do this I figured its important that I make sure the person is compatible on a lot of levels. One of them is sexually, I am not a pervert but I just feel that people who get in to romantic relationships should be sexually compatible. I have heard fo women who have sex with men left and right, while being married to a husband who has no idea whats going on. The thing is she never once tried to find a person who was compatible with her sexually. There are certain things other than tickling that I look for in a woman I wont list them here because those things are easy to find., Do you think its possible to find your soulmate in the community, someone who likes tickling too and the same things you do? This is hard for me because its a personal thing so bare with me if i feel a little embarrassed.

 

[SugarSoaker]

I don’t believe in soulmates but for sake of conversation, Yes, it’s possible. I have and I know many others who have as well. Sexual compatibility is important, but unless you connect on other ways it doesn’t really matter.
I’m not really sure what else this message is supposed to mean, though. It just sounds like a frustrated rant.

 

[tickleteasing]

I am sorry if it seems like a rant but I really appreciate your advice

 

[Candygirl]

...I'm confused. The other day you posted a thread entitled something along the lines of "do you know anyone who met their spouse on this site" and now asking a similar, albeit only just, question about soulmates...

I'm curious to know how you differentiate between the two. It sounds like, at least on some level, you are assuming that those that have met another on here and did in fact get or will soon/someday be married, that they are settling for someone less compatible, therefore not a "soulmate" if one believes in such, in lieu of the other person satisfying their need for the shared tickle fetish??

Because the "spouse" question was already asked and answered thoroughly in my opinion, so I'm just curious how this post is different, from your perspective.

 

[tickleteasing]

Maybe because I am asking for more myself, I am not married so thats why I used the word soulmate instead of spouse, your right ideally they are the same

 

[TallTampaTklDom]

Soul mates aren’t real. It’s a myth. If they were real, children wouldn’t die. They’d grow and find their soulmate. Young men would always return home from war. Mentally challenged people would become independent to have and enjoy their own soul mate. Why do you or I deserve a soul mate and they don’t?

The reality is that some people are more compatible with most people….while a lot of people are compatible with a few people. Some people posses the traits that everyone wants, so they have lots of options. While others don’t have the traits that people want, making it harder to find a partner. The tall handsome guy that has a 6 pack, makes 6 figures and is good with dogs and people is far more compatible with most women than a guy who is short, overweight and lives with his parents and has a dark temperament. Guy 1 has hundreds of soulmates in his town…Guy 2 has zero.

With women out earning men, and social media…women’s standards are higher than ever, and few men meet those standards. The men that do meet those standards have their pick, and date multiple women at once…while the men below that standard go without. Many women(not all) would rather share a man that meets their standard than to date below that standard.

I think there are more kink friendly women out there today than in the past, but the pickings are still slim. You’re still competing against a lot of men. And still, kink being the only thing y’all have in common at the start. I personally think it’s FAR easier to find a woman you like, that likes you and is open to tickling to please you. That way you’re not sacrificing other compatibility attributes because of your fetish(location, looks, hobbies, lifestyle, career etc).

 

[Candygirl]

Wow! There's several things to correct here, but let me just point out the ones that are GLARINGLY obvious to me...first of all:

The tall handsome guy that has a 6 pack, makes 6 figures and is good with dogs and people is far more compatible with most women than a guy who is short, overweight and lives with his parents and has a dark temperament. Guy 1 has hundreds of soulmates in his town…Guy 2 has zero.

Hundreds of soulmates? Even if you believed in that idea, which you already claimed you didn't, that's not how the concept works. Hundreds of compatible matches, maybe, but 'soulmates, no. Though I do agree with you that they don't exist and the notion of anything otherwise is laughable. However ...guy 2 having a "dark temperament" I'm not sure if that's the term you meant, but to ANY self respecting woman of any age or background, that should be a red flag regardless. Because that term would imply that the guy is prone to things like jealously, spitefulness narcissism, greed, machiavellianism, and even anger. So of COURSE any woman would naturally shy away from this type of guy, even if he were handsome with a great job.

Secondly...

With women out earning men, and social media…women’s standards are higher than ever, and few men meet those standards.

Women outearning men, I can ASSURE you, is definitely not happening as women STILL are only making 75-80% as much as men do working in the same fields. That's fact. Not opinion. More women are becoming successful I think is what you mean. More women-owned business. More women investing and networking as they aren't just trophy wife stay at home moms anymore. (Not that there's anything wrong with those types of women who are) More women making a name for themselves and standing up for their gender maybe. But earning more? Definitely not. Not even equal yet.

Additionally, if few men meet these imaginary standards you say most women have now, that would mean, by the opposite, that most men don't and therefore most women remain single and that's also not happening.


It sounds to me like you're projecting. "Most women" don't have obnoxiously high standards. That's the myth.


The truth is, the answer is no, you won't find a soulmate here. Or anywhere else for that matter. The term implies a man/woman who is "exactly what you're looking for". Checks off ALL your boxes, so to speak. Your completely opposite equal, if that makes sense.

It's a myth because nobody, no man nor woman, is perfect, therefore no relationship/couple is perfect. Relationships are a two way street that takes effort and patience and compromise from both parties willing to make things worth.

The trick is to find someone who you're comfortable being yourself around and who loves you for being you in spite of your oddities and flaws. Or maybe because of them, no judgement lol

But the point is, you'll never find someone who's perfect. But finding someone who is perfect for you can happen anywhere at any time. You just have to keep your heart and eyes open.

 

[Wolf]

Soul mates aren’t real. It’s a myth. If they were real, children wouldn’t die. They’d grow and find their soulmate. Young men would always return home from war. Mentally challenged people would become independent to have and enjoy their own soul mate. Why do you or I deserve a soul mate and they don’t?

The reality is that some people are more compatible with most people….while a lot of people are compatible with a few people. Some people posses the traits that everyone wants, so they have lots of options. While others don’t have the traits that people want, making it harder to find a partner. The tall handsome guy that has a 6 pack, makes 6 figures and is good with dogs and people is far more compatible with most women than a guy who is short, overweight and lives with his parents and has a dark temperament. Guy 1 has hundreds of soulmates in his town…Guy 2 has zero.

With women out earning men, and social media…women’s standards are higher than ever, and few men meet those standards. The men that do meet those standards have their pick, and date multiple women at once…while the men below that standard go without. Many women(not all) would rather share a man that meets their standard than to date below that standard.

I think there are more kink friendly women out there today than in the past, but the pickings are still slim. You’re still competing against a lot of men. And still, kink being the only thing y’all have in common at the start. I personally think it’s FAR easier to find a woman you like, that likes you and is open to tickling to please you. That way you’re not sacrificing other compatibility attributes because of your fetish(location, looks, hobbies, lifestyle, career etc).

Wow. That there's a red pill the size of a dinner plate.

 

[lostphilosopher]

Ok *cracks knuckles*

It depends on what you define as "soulmate" and a lot of it boils down to determinism vs free will.

First scenario:Is everything we do, everyone we meet, everything that happens predetermined? If so, someone may define a soulmate as a person they were destined to be with as though it were a physical law of the Universe. Like a prearranged marriage, the decision was made beforehand.

Second scenario: Is it possible in all the vastness and improbability of the Universe 2 people may meet who feel they are kindred spirits? A special connection that appears to overrule simple biological reproduction? From this standpoint "soulmates" can still exist, it's just more a matter of mathematical probability.

For this thread, I'm not advocating one stance over the other. But, as with many other beliefs, individual definitions can vary.

 

[Iishieboo]

I think that a lot of people are getting hung up on the wording of this post. Is it possible to meet someone you can spend the rest of your life with who shares the same sexual special interests as you? Most certainly. Every person I've ever dated has been someone I met online and who shared at least a few of my sexual special interests (tickling, most commonly). I have had a number of long term relationships which began on this site and each of those people were and are wonderful.

Now, there are even more places where people can share their erotic interests and meet others like themselves! So you're not limited to the TMF.

Long term companionship is a desire held by many and being a kind, open-minded person who is willing to explore and share goes a long way.

Some people advocate for finding a partner in "the real world" and going from there, introducing your special interests as you do. That's a fine approach, I assume, for many, but it has never been for me as I am deeply passionate about sexuality and eroticism and it is a large part of my daily thoughts and private imaginings and I want to share those with someone. So, clearing that up pretty quickly just seems right. If sexuality and eroticism is less important to a person's everyday life, then I imagine putting that forefront in your search may not be necessary. (Some people even find it distasteful.)

It depends on what is important to you. Looks mean practically nothing to me. Nor does how much my partner makes as long as they're self-sufficient. Intelligence matters. Kindness matters. Disposition matters. So, it's much like dating anywhere. What do you want? What's most important? Since you're writing this, I assume sexuality is close to the top. In that case, I can't say I agree with the above commenter who suggests finding a girl who is simply willing to tolerate it to please you. I completely understand wanting someone who is just as enraptured by it as you are, and with whom you can share those deep, vulnerable, wonderful feelings.

So, can you find someone to be your long-term companion who shares your sexual interests on this site or others? Absolutely. Is that the best approach? Perhaps.

Just relax and enjoy the possibilities. Be honest, make connections, have no expectations until you and whomever can clearly communicate them to one another. It's good. ^_^