Low_Roads
4th Level Black Feather
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2004
- Messages
- 8,921
- Points
- 38
My wife claims she's a better shopper than I am. She says she knows where to buy a whole carton of baby powder for only 10 bucks. Well I say talc is cheap.
Joseph was a master carpenter and could build furniture without guidance, but Mary carried Emmanuel.
My brother's working of a speculative novel in which Roger McGuinn, David Crosby and Mick Jagger all die in a plane crash. He plans to kill two Byrds with one Stone.
Q: What's the first thing you know?
A: Old Jed's a millionaire.
One of the guys at work is of Mexican/Japanese parentage. He greets me each morning with a hardy "Konnichihuahua!"
When using this medication, you may experience an increased sense of irritation, along with soreness in your arms and fingers. Damn these child-proof caps!
In my off hours, I help blind children. So please excuse me... it's time to go sharpen the spikes.
The camp cook always makes the colonel's favorite: boysenberry pie. He's the unit's most wanted desserter.
Joseph Stalin was buried in a grave 30 feet beneath the surface of the earth. It's funny... deep down he's not such a bad guy.
You may have noticed that when geese migrate in a "V" formation, one side is always longer than the other. Scientists have been trying to discover the reason for that, and really there's a very simple answer: there happen to be more geese on that side.
The coronavirus has caused suicide rates to skyrocket: serial killers are now being forced to work at home.
Henhouses are such bureaucracies... there are so many layers.
Are you suffering from the delusion that you are being stalked... that assassins may even be hiding inside your very bedroom? Well I'm here to tell you that you're not alone.
Q: What's twice as bad as breaking a mirror?
A: Breaking a condom. That brings 18 years of bad luck.
My wife devastated me by accusing me of infidelity. Thank god I had my girlfriend for emotional support.
In the realm of world commerce, it's foolish to bet on the man from New York with his Yankee dollar. You should have chosen the guy from Seoul... the South Korean won!
Ever since Helium was discovered, it's use has been ballooning.
No wonder stores are running out of toilet paper... one person sneezes, and everyone shits themselves.
Wild colts run great risk by frolicking in a wilderness filled with hungry bears and wolves, but they'll always take the chance. They're the most reckless gambolers in the animal kingdom.
Toilet paper is such a hot commodity lately, I've amassed a tidy sum by charging 10 cents for a single a square. Congratulate me... I've been on a roll for days!
If you ever take too much Viagra, here's a simple cure. Just smack your ankle with a hammer... it's sure to make you limp.
The recommended diet for coronavirus patients is pizza and flatjacks. Not that these foods are particularly nutritious, but they're the easiest to slide under locked doors.
* * *
Joseph was a master carpenter and could build furniture without guidance, but Mary carried Emmanuel.
* * *
My brother's working of a speculative novel in which Roger McGuinn, David Crosby and Mick Jagger all die in a plane crash. He plans to kill two Byrds with one Stone.
* * *
Q: What's the first thing you know?
A: Old Jed's a millionaire.
* * *
One of the guys at work is of Mexican/Japanese parentage. He greets me each morning with a hardy "Konnichihuahua!"
* * *
When using this medication, you may experience an increased sense of irritation, along with soreness in your arms and fingers. Damn these child-proof caps!
* * *
In my off hours, I help blind children. So please excuse me... it's time to go sharpen the spikes.
* * *
The camp cook always makes the colonel's favorite: boysenberry pie. He's the unit's most wanted desserter.
* * *
Joseph Stalin was buried in a grave 30 feet beneath the surface of the earth. It's funny... deep down he's not such a bad guy.
* * *
You may have noticed that when geese migrate in a "V" formation, one side is always longer than the other. Scientists have been trying to discover the reason for that, and really there's a very simple answer: there happen to be more geese on that side.
* * *
The coronavirus has caused suicide rates to skyrocket: serial killers are now being forced to work at home.
* * *
Henhouses are such bureaucracies... there are so many layers.
* * *
Are you suffering from the delusion that you are being stalked... that assassins may even be hiding inside your very bedroom? Well I'm here to tell you that you're not alone.
* * *
Q: What's twice as bad as breaking a mirror?
A: Breaking a condom. That brings 18 years of bad luck.
* * *
My wife devastated me by accusing me of infidelity. Thank god I had my girlfriend for emotional support.
* * *
In the realm of world commerce, it's foolish to bet on the man from New York with his Yankee dollar. You should have chosen the guy from Seoul... the South Korean won!
* * *
Ever since Helium was discovered, it's use has been ballooning.
* * *
No wonder stores are running out of toilet paper... one person sneezes, and everyone shits themselves.
* * *
Wild colts run great risk by frolicking in a wilderness filled with hungry bears and wolves, but they'll always take the chance. They're the most reckless gambolers in the animal kingdom.
* * *
Toilet paper is such a hot commodity lately, I've amassed a tidy sum by charging 10 cents for a single a square. Congratulate me... I've been on a roll for days!
* * *
If you ever take too much Viagra, here's a simple cure. Just smack your ankle with a hammer... it's sure to make you limp.
* * *
The recommended diet for coronavirus patients is pizza and flatjacks. Not that these foods are particularly nutritious, but they're the easiest to slide under locked doors.
