Friends Online

[jugner]

In the past couple of weeks, I've looked at a couple of profiles, and the ones with a messenger ID's I have wrote to just saying hi, and where I got the ID from, and asking a few if they wanted to become friends, not even talk very much about tickling, just be friends. A couple wrote back saying they didn't want to, I'm fine with that. But most ignore you. My question, why would you put your messenger ID on here if you were gonna ignore when peple contact you?

Is it the fact that so many guys are jerks online and disrespectful? Is it so hard to beliee a man can be a gentleman online?

 

[Avenger314]

heh.... whenever a situation like this occurs, 90% of the people involved assume that guys are the root cause. Myself, I tend to wonder if maybe the girl in question is rather snobby or likes yanking people's chains. It happens.

What also might be likely is that the message is so old, they might've switched screennames or something.

 

[jugner]

A couple of times I've PM'd them on here and said I had tried their messenger, but didn't get anything back. Of course I undertand if they don't want to start a friendship, but taking 15 seconds to say that is much more polite. No rule against being rude, but it's surprising how people can seem to be so nice in their posts on here, and then be like that.

 

[jugner]

Seriously, I know it sounds like I'm whining, but I'm really not mad. It's just what I've noticed and I was wanting some other people's observations.

 

[silkynsoft]

I think a lot of the problem is that SOME guys are very thoughtless. They are here only to satisfy their needs. If only they knew how much more fun they could have by being a little more subtle.

 

[jugner]

I agree, some guys are like that. I'm not even lookin for 'a good time', just wanna talk (my life has other stuff beside tickling), and I know I won't be judged if I mention that I like tickling.

 

[Haqim]

I have that with messenger a lot of people might be busy, either playing a game or might not be at their pc at all (at work etc). But leave their pc on anyway.

msn messenger tends not to say if your away and if your playing a game fullscreen, downloading while sleeping etc then messenger will say your online. By the time the message is read your offline.

I do also agree that a lot of people tend to be rude but that’s online for you

I would recommend sending them more than one message (don't spam) but the reason I am suggesting this is. I have been typing when messenger pops-up with a message but because I am typing the keys I press cause the message to close. Normally not a problem as I can see the name before the window closes so can message them back but if someone I haven't added was to message me then I couldn't message back, unless another message was sent.

But I wouldn't let it get you down if they don't want to talk it’s their choice and theirs plenty of friendly people in this community.

 

[stampstock]

I tend to agree with jugner on this one, however...

I've PMed a few people, saying that I saw them in the TMF and found their profile interesting. No response. I did it again at the risk of seeming like I can't take a hint. No response. I got the hint. But there are several others who were cool enough to respond, and we've been having a nice time PMing or e-mailing. They're here in the forum, as well as those who would rather log in and do they're thing only with those they know. That's cool too and has to be respected. If I can use a screwy analogy: not everybody likes to stand on a line and have a conversation with the person behind them. In all fairness, yeah, I feel we all should take a 'positive' PM from a fellow member, after all, we're all like-minded enthusiasts, and it's our forum. And what can ever be wrong with an on-line friend?
Any feedback welcome...

 

[Mimi]

I'm afraid I am one of them that does this from time to time. It has become a habit of mine not because I do not wish to interract with anyone online, but rather because 95% of the time, the person IMing me is either a Spam bot, looking to talk about something I'm completely not interested in, only want to cyber, or their spelling and vocabulary is so bad I can only assume they are either 10 years old, or a neanderthal...either way I'll pass.

I'd hate to think anyone would get the impression I'm a bitch. I'm truly not and I love chatting with folks on the topic of tickling, as well as many other sunjects. But I don't like being summoned for cyber purposes or to be used as masturbatory material.

My best advice is when you're PMing someone for the first time, especially someone from the TMF, select someone you see actively involved on the forum. If you choose someone who never posts, they are likely a lurker, and won't respond to anyone for that reason. Once you do select someone active to contact, try telling them upfront that you are a member of the TMF, what your screen name is here, and that you've seen some of their posts and would like to correspond with them about tickling if they are interested. That should get you some better results. I know that would likely work in my case.

Good luck.

Mimi

 

[jugner]

Here's what I say, "Hi, I saw you on the TMF, I'm a member there, wanna chat?" I see your point about those with no posts are more likely to not respond, but I've tried many with several posts, and I get ignored still. My thing is it's optional to put up a Messenger ID, why put it up if you're gonna not respond?

I also accept the idea they may have just not got it which I can understand. I contacted a woman last week, and she said, "I dont like to talk about tickling online". I said, "OK, have a nice day." That's it. Oh well. I guess I just wanted to know if I was doing anything wrong.

 

[Mitchell]

This happens to me all the time. Of course, I'm probably partially to blame for it also, because I will sometimes introduce myself, and then talk tickling, and ask a couple of tickle questions, which some may not like. I've learned that as a fact of life here, things are hit and miss. I have had a couple of experiences with women who I thought were close friends and that I had a rapport with, (I wont mention their names of course, because that would be rude, against rules, and I dont want to embarrass anyone) who have seemingly left TMF and who I've not heard from again. Beyond being a regular chatter in the room, I have learned to take this place day by day, and with a grain of salt. Taking any one girl or member too seriously can result in being hurt. I'm here, go with the flow, and just wing it. It may sound a bit aloof, but after 2 years and some of the experiences I've had, I've found that taking anyone too seriously is bad news.
Just my two cents, for whatever it's worth.

Mitch

 

[featherfingers]

Sometimes when I meet someone online, the last thing I want to talk about is tickling. I do enough of that on these threads and posts. I don't want to be burned out. So, I'll ask the person about themselves and get a glimpse of the real person behind the screen name. I recently met a lady here at TMF...we IM and PM all of the time, but we both breathed a sigh of relief when we found out neither of us really wanted to talk tickling 24/7. A little flirting is fun, but I've got a lot more interests besides tickling.

 

[AquaFeline]

I'll admit I'm priviledged because I live in such a densely populated area, but I prefer to mostly talk to those who are within visitation distance. I already spend too much time online and would prefer to spend more time with people offline, whether it's play or not.

 

[cloudgazer2k]

i know that when i'm online, i enjoy chatting. there are times i get oddballs, but there are some pretty cool people on here. i for one am always willing to chat with anyone about virtually everything.

yahoo: lord_tatsu or tickler_supreme22
aim: lordtatsu18
icq: 276271546

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

I agree with featherfingers. While I do enjoy tickling and I like talking about it, it can get old if all someone wants to talk about is tickling this and tickling that. We all have other interests that are bound to match up somewhere. Try getting to know THEM first. And I don't just mean a*s*l. I talk to a few people I met here or on tklovers.com on yahoo messenger and we spend more time just talking about work or school or whatever than we spend talking about tickling. Try broadening your discussion topics and maybe you'll have a bit more luck

xoxo take care and good luck!
<3 Liz

 

[jugner]

The thing I'm wondering is why women don't explain why they don't wanna talk, they just ignore you with no explanation at all.

 

[Tklelicious]

sometimes you are all chatted out

just to broaden your horizons a little....tickling talk is a blast, however when it becomes a fill in the blanks conversation, it gets old. nice to talk of tickling as well as other topics. now, to reveal the best spot and how do you like it etc. is best when the conversation about it tickles you too. i want my intellect tickled as well....makes it more fun. i answer 99%of PMs. i won't always answer someone who goes directly to IM. need to stand out from the rest.....chatting is time consuming but a blast!

 

[jugner]

I don't understand, I said I don't want to talk about tickling, that I have plenty of other stuff to talk about. And yet the last couple of posts have reccomended expanding what I talk about. I guess you didn't read it.

 

[steph]

Maybe they're just rude hon and not worth your effort...

I've not changed my screen names over the years but I know a lot of people that have. Perhaps they're not ignoring you, but the account has long been disabled?

I know for me (and I'm guilty of the same) my IM screen name is different than "Steph." Being kind of a public personna, people usually come to me knowing in advance who I am, but if I don't know them or recognize the name, I know I can be hesitant to engage in conversation, not because I'm a jerk but because I'm usually talking with someone else or sometimes multiple somone else's (something I kind of have come to hate, I just find it too distracting.)

If I get a msg from "Mr X" and I don't know who that is, I may put them on buddy list to be polite, but I'm usually on IM in shadow anyway, I get nuked by waaaaay too many people otherwise, like most girls do. It gets overwhelming for me. Whereas, if Mr X shoots me a msg that says, "Hey, it's me Todd, I really liked your response to my question about Angela," I immediately have a point of reference, and am more likely to engage in a conversation...

Something I like that yahoo does that I don't think AOL does is it lets you send a msg to the person if they're offline, then they can respond to you when it's convenient for them, hopefully they don't send you 25 msgs a day, "Hello again? Are you there yet? It's ME, STILL waiting here " (too much like stalking, IMHO...)

Anyway I rambled a bit (sorry) but hopefully gave some possible answers...

XOXO

The thing I'm wondering is why women don't explain why they don't wanna talk, they just ignore you with no explanation at all.

 

[Tklelicious]

yikes!

i'm flattered by lots of interest and the confidence people have to approach others on this site, but just because i am on this site and someone approaches me....i want to have a full-out conversation with everyone! i don't talk to everyone at the grocery store because we are all there for the common interest of eating. i'm fully "on board" with steph and flatfoot. maybe i didnt' express it all that well. i hate to be rude, but some situations just call for it. ever hear of stalkers? steph mentioned different names on yahoo and aol. when i am addressed at random, and have no idea of who is writing, it is too bizarre. sometimes i accept a conversation and for the life of me, i still have no idea who i am conversing with and it becomes weird and strained. then i just say to myself, "why do i have to be so nice all the time, maybe i should have just ignored it." thinking i'll need to take yahoo IM name off profile--but that is silly cause some messages i would have missed and been the worse for it. i like when people address something i have written, something beyond, "hey i saw you on and read you profile (maybe)". is that too much to ask? and other times, i have been approached and it just "felt" right. it's a day by day, minute by minute decision. if i offened anyone, i apologize. a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do for her own sanity!

 

[tickleshotel]

I know what Jugner is talking about,I welcome new people to talk on yahoo messenger and I am almost always invisible status to avoid being swamped by Pm;s but I notice sometimes that hardly anyone on my list is online,unless they are invisible themselves..
Sometimes I find I get requests to add people that don;t tell me why they feel I should add them,if people would write in this little invite box " I am from TMF,like to talk " that would give me some idea because sometimes screennames don;t have any reference to tickling..
Jugner,feel free to add me and I'll talk to you

 

[ticklishTraci]

In the past couple of weeks, I've looked at a couple of profiles, and the ones with a messenger ID's I have wrote to just saying hi, and where I got the ID from, and asking a few if they wanted to become friends, not even talk very much about tickling, just be friends. A couple wrote back saying they didn't want to, I'm fine with that. But most ignore you. My question, why would you put your messenger ID on here if you were gonna ignore when peple contact you?

Is it the fact that so many guys are jerks online and disrespectful? Is it so hard to beliee a man can be a gentleman online?

Several posters here have either p.m.d me (before I turned off the p.m. feature) or asked me to email them. I'm not rude, but have made it crystal clear I'm engaged to be married in June (and to a very jealous fiancee).

At first, I thought about answering the p.m's, but some of the questions were very personal; why I turned the feature off before J.C. saw them. I never give out my email to anyone online or visit chatrooms; because of a very frightening incident I experienced several years ago because of doing so. I learned the hard way to be extremely cautious, because my failure to do so resulted in my being assaulted and stalked by a complete jerk (who seemed so nice online and over the phone

 

[jugner]

I've read in other threads your story Tracy, it's bad and I'm sorry it happened.

I have a theory, feel free to disagree, is it possible the reason so many guys are jerks online is because we're going to be treated like it anyway. I'm a nice guy, try to stay respectful always, but I get treated like I'm not. Trust me, it's a lot easier to be a jerk than a nice guy. Since a lot of guys seem to be jerky, we're all treated the same, instead of case by case. I have remained respectful, thmough I have been given plenty of reason not too.

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Unless I know who you are, and that means I've seen your posts here (and I'm sure you've seen mine), I'm not going to talk to you. It seems that 99% of the people who contact me out of the blue have nothing concrete to talk about, anyway.

 

[AquaFeline]

I'm not sure about other people here, but proper etiquette helps to pique my interest. I am much more interested in a person who introduces themselves and asks if I have time to talk instead of just jumping in. Proper spelling, grammar and capitalization also helps.

I do realize I'm not perfect in those regards.

Also, someone said again and I'll say it too that just because someone is online doesn't mean that they're at their computer.
An afterthought, it may be best not to directly jump in with the tickling questions until you get an affirmative that the person you're talking to knows about TMF also because sometimes people forget to turn off their IM programs and their parents or children could be using the computer.