Girlfriend knows about my fetish but doesnt know about the TMF

[summit]

Let me start out by saying that she lets me indulge in my kinks which i appreciate. A quick tickle here, a footworship there but usually this all occurs durring foreplay. Believe me I know i have a good thing going now and she was quite surprised that she enjoyed me sucking her toes as much as she did. I think she perceives me as "kinky" probably considering that I'm probably the only guy who has put this much emphasis on tickling and feet. Ideally, i'd like for us to experience more of the lifestyle (ie prolonged tickling, bondage, and roleplay)

The thing is, I tell her that I have fetish BUT i havent told her about just how expansive the world is. I have this fear that she will be freaked out if I share this part of my life with her. The TMF and all tickle related sites might come off as too extreme for a vanilla to deal with. Given we have been dating for almost a year now, so it might be an easy transition.

My question for those of you have been in this situation before and have successfully converted their bf/gf's into the fetish, what is the best way to transition your significant other into the tickle world.

 

[herts tickler]

im the exact same mate. guess i think this would be a bit overwhelming for her. i think this is just for us y'know? i dont think people who dont have the fetish would find anything for them here.

thing is because there so many different kinds of people here and so many variations of the fetish she might see something that freaks her out. for example i dont get the whole furry tickling thing..you know where the lers and lees are like squirrells or something, and i wouldnt want her to come on here and think i was into all that when really i enjoy the fetish as a more waterd down man and woman sexual tickling kinda thing...

for that reason id say keep the 2 worlds seperate.

 

[Fat Bastard]

Believe me friend when I tell you there is no need to force this into the relationship. Keep focus on her and how things progress just between the two of you.

Avoid bringing anything related to this community up in conversation unless she starts to show some interest in the how & whatfores of your obsession.

As long as the two of you continue to enjoy each other’s special intimate interests, time is on your side.

 

[mustang]

If you have taken her that far into accomodating your fetish, I would recommend leaving it there. Why risk blowing her mind by introducing her into a world that only we fully understand and appreciate? My lady accepts my kink. She lets me 'get off' on her feet. I have no plans to throw the doors of the foot/tickle fetish world open to her, though. That might freak her out and it is not worth the risk...one man's opinion.

 

[PQfingers]

I do feel you, Summit. I'm in the same boat. I won't push it, for fear I will loose a go thing.

 

[GQguy]

I think it's ok to save a bit of yourself for yourself. She has no business here. If she does I highly doubt showing her the sight will give you angst. Hell, you can even mention to her that such a sight exist...and if she truly cares to see it...she'll take the initiative to ask you to show her. A woman will get the information she needs if she truly desires it.

GQ

 

[Coda]

Whenever I'm in a relationship, I know I value honesty and candor from my partner, and the more they're willing to share with me, the better I feel like our relationship has become. I can't imagine that would be different if my sex were.

 

[Libertine]

Many a man has underestimated a woman's kinkiness, or her capacity to enjoy the unusual. Tell her. You'll win either way. If she's receptive, your relationship will deepen. If she's neutral, she may wish to indulge you out of love, so as not to throw out a year's relationship. If not, then you'll be free to seek someone who even now is looking for someone like you, and you will not be yet another of the sad individuals on here, both male and female, whose partners are not into it, and who feel trapped and frustrated.

 

[ndj101982]

Many a man has underestimated a woman's kinkiness, or her capacity to enjoy the unusual. Tell her. You'll win either way. If she's receptive, your relationship will deepen. If she's neutral, she may wish to indulge you out of love, so as not to throw out a year's relationship. If not, then you'll be free to seek someone who even now is looking for someone like you, and you will not be yet another of the sad individuals on here, both male and female, whose partners are not into it, and who feel trapped and frustrated.

Agreed. Who knows, you tell her you're into tickling, she may tell you something kinky that turns her on. Could turn out she likes being tied up,......maybe she even likes being tickled . My ex knew I got turned on when I tickled her, which actually worked out to my advantage because when she was in the mood she would start a tickle fight with me knowing how hot it got me. She also knew that outfits turned me on so she used to dress up like a naughty secretary, sometimes she'd throw on her french maid halloween outfit for good measure.

 

[LD_Tickler]

Why does she need to know about the TMF? She knows about your fetish, you practice it in your sex life... why is it important that she knows about/participates on your favourite message boards?

 

[socktickler86]

I think this is all horrible advice. Why keep it from her? If she indulges you with your fetish and you don't say "I hook up with people on TMF behind your back", what's the problem? Ask yourself this, is she the type to be naive and believe that your fetish exists in a vacuum? You're not asking her to participate on the forum, you're not saying that you attend gatherings, you're not saying you go around the forum jerking it to members photos, you're just saying "Hey, this is a site for like-minded people to discuss the things they like". At the worst she'll say she doesn't like you being on the website. Then it's bye bye TMF.

What would happen if 3 years down the line you plan on getting married and one day she accidentally pulls up a TMF page on your computer. Are you going to say "Oh, yah, I've been on this site for the past 3 years all the time"? At some point it has to come up, why let it come up 3 years from now?

On the other hand, if you're just in the relationship for funsies, then I don't see a problem keeping it from her.

Personally, I see a tremendous amount of shame in a lot of members responses. You are who you are and the last person you should be keeping who you are from is someone you love.

 

[sealdan]

In my experience, and a lot of my friends' experiences, the healthiest and most rewarding relationships are those in which both parties are free to express their FULL selves, even the parts that they believe their partners may not like.

You can't control her experience and how she reacts to you, so the question is, "Do YOU want to tell her?"

 

[c7_assassin]

This:

What would happen if 3 years down the line you plan on getting married and one day she accidentally pulls up a TMF page on your computer. Are you going to say "Oh, yah, I've been on this site for the past 3 years all the time"? At some point it has to come up, why let it come up 3 years from now?

On the other hand, if you're just in the relationship for funsies, then I don't see a problem keeping it from her.

And this.

In my experience, and a lot of my friends' experiences, the healthiest and most rewarding relationships are those in which both parties are free to express their FULL selves, even the parts that they believe their partners may not like.

You can't control her experience and how she reacts to you, so the question is, "Do YOU want to tell her?"

It's up to you, but I can't see any real downside in telling her. Either she gets it or she doesn't; better she find out now than later.

 

[Comfort Eagle]

My new thing is once I get a girlfriend I actually make her join TMF with me.

 

[BostonTickling]

My new thing is once I get a girlfriend I actually make her join TMF with me.

How's that working out for ya?

 

[obama666]

The less she knows the better off you are!

 

[proud2tickle]

omg BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BOSTON your one of the few people who have made me laugh out loud for real...... How is that working for you BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

No i would say if yall get to that whole MArrrrrrrrrr......... (i cant say it), but you know that union between two people where she gets the white dress and you get the black tux then maybe at that point bring up your a member of a tickling site and explain the vast differences of people and likes on here. right now leave it as it is......

As far as that whole finding it on ur computer thing there are ways around that ya know.


and still laughing boston

 

[Comfort Eagle]

How's that working out for ya?

Pretty good, she's into the porn.

 

[summit]

much appreciation on the advice folks. Great arguments on both sides of the spectrum. Part of me want to share it with her but like some of you said, it might be too overwhelming all at once. As much as I hate to admit it, i too find that there is a sense of embarrassment at the thought of explaining our fetish to vanillas. From one perspective we have to admit that its a little strange but on the other hand there are a crapload of weirder ones out there.

I think i eventually want to ease her into this part of my life (not that this fetish defines me as a person). She is completely oblivious to the concept of people being turned on by ticking in such an organized manner like we have it here on the TMF. She like many others in her position, is not aware just how big this fetish actually is.

Maybe I could be cute/naughty one day and search for "sexy tickling" with her and act all surprised as we look at some clips together online? Though I hate to lie to her about never knowing about clips like that.

I guess i just really want to further explore my own fetish and live out some of my fantasy tickle scenarios with her. Like i said before, she lets me indulge a little bit (a couple minutes at a time) but i cant help but want more. and by "more" i mean longer tickle sessions with tame elements of bondage and some roleplay.

 

[blktk75]

Well, I was in your situation ten years ago: a girl I really like, but after we became more intimate, I just said to me: if she's the right one, then I will not have to hide me or remember to delete history and cookie of the browser, if she really loves me, she will accept me as I am.
So, one evening, we were together on the bed and I simply told her: I want you to know all about me, I like feet, nylons and tickling; it may be strange for you but this is me.
She smiled and said "don't worry, it's not harmful at all and tickling is fun"; so I told her everything and I show her some tickling sites. She's still with me, it's 11 years now; we do tickling sessions and she always tease me with her nyloned feet.
When you show this site, tell her there's many different way to practise tickling, from playful to torture, but you don't like it all the type.
So my advice is: if she don't accept ALL of you, you will not be happy for real... just surviving.
Tell her.