Homosexuality: to varying degrees

[EcEu]

I am a raging heterosexual, and i think the idea you bring up here is formed up through experiences. I have plenty of guy and girl friends, though my closest friends happen to be women, i still got my homies close as well.

The lifestyle choice of being gay/straight/bi is just a lifestyle choice, and i do not think it is related to how a person feels about either sex.

I think the person you described has just had many experiences in his path that have formed this distaste toward women, just because one sexually prefers the same sex doesn't mean they automatically hate the opposite.

 

[Dussicar]

I am a raging heterosexual

This totally needs to be put on a birthday cake.

 

[bondagebabe]

As a lesbian, i know plenty of lesbians. I personally, just have trouble relating to men and would not trust them in a situation where i am vulnerable like bondage. Most of the lesbians that fear men have been raped as a child (less then 8 years old) and have never had proper counseling to get them through it. Many have abusive fathers. Most of it has to do with how they were raised, and if they have been sitting on bad feeling about men for 10 or 20 years. I was raped as a child, and i know it took time for me to feel comfortable around men. I still have dought what they say is true and would more likely trust a woman. Obviously all men are different and some can be trusted, but when a dramatic event like that has happened in your life it hard to think about men rationally instead of emotionally. I got proper counseling as a child and was able to get over my rape. Others don't receive the mental counseling needed and truly do hate men for that reason. It is important that you don't assume these poor girls are hateful people, or guys pretending to be girls (happens all the time on the forums). They may be very nice people if you give them a chance. yea probably most "girls who hate guys" are pretenders, but is it worth letting the one true emotionally disturbed girl go? Many of these girls have never found true love and have nightmares every night about there experiences. It is important to try and support them and not hurt them more by calling them something they are not. I partially got through my problems with therapy when i was 10 years old. If I let it go until now and didn't have that opportunity I would feel that way to. So yes, there are some girls that hate guys and they almost always have a reason for it. Being raped 10 or 15 years ago may not seem like it should make a difference now, but to many girls it does.

 

[bondagebabe]

I ask questions because I do not know. The reason I associated the two is because the person whom I crossed paths with who hates and fears the other sex is strongly and undeniably homosexual.

In many cases a bad sexual experience when young can cause a change in sexual attraction. A girl is not going to like a gender she hates and therefor may become lesbian because she hates men, not because she was born liking girls.

 

[bondagebabe]

I know one female who, while she doesn't hate men completely, won't let a guy anywhere near her because she was raped. Personally, I think that's bullshit. Sorry, I know, she was raped, it's traumatic, but I'm not gonna tell her that it makes her justified. It doesn't.

But eh, hatred of the opposite sex goes both ways, you just hear more about men being sexist/abusing women/etc. because women are generally smarter, and don't ever feel any need for such due to already having control. And that IS what it often comes down to, control.

Gay or straight or whatever, all people are assholes.

I for one think it is very disrespectful to say what you said. Many woman including myself at times would rather die then be raped. It does not justify a women to be mean and rude to men, but it does justify her to not get anywhere near her. Its her choice. If she doesn't want to get involved with you leave er alone. That's why we don't like men sometimes. You act as if it is your privilege to get near a women. Its not, a women decides who she interacts with and as long as she is not hurting or being rude to you, she is totally justified. You basically saying to all woman who have been raped "get over it". Try and understand instead of judging.

 

[ViperGTS]

A girl is not going to like a gender she hates and therefor may become lesbian because she hates men.

Interesting point of view. To each their own I guess, but lesbianism and just being a hateful sexist are two very different things.

 

[bondagebabe]

I'm les because of my distrust of men. 35% of lesbians have had some sort of sexual abuse from men in their past. The point is, ignoring men and being bitchy to them are to totally different things.

 

[SapphireRose]

I thought I had nothing to contribute

But after thinking on it, I do have something to say.

I used to be bi...but not so much anymore (it's kinda confusing). Due to circumstances that won't be brought up here, I actually have a really hard time trusting and be-friending women. Growing up, I've always gotten along better with guys than girls anyway. Mostly due to my weight (I've never in my life been one of the popular, thin girls), the girlfriends that I had used me for emotional support for something, or my smarts, then left me in the dark as soon as they had no more use for me.

Do I trust men completely though either? No. It's hard to trust much of anyone in this day and age.

Call me negative if you want, but those are my thoughts on things, taking into consideration on how I grew up.

 

[LD_Tickler]

Guys, use your heads. Are the heterosexuals among us hetero because we hate our own gender? It's about whom you are attracted to, not whom you dislike.

I'll entertain the notion that, for example, a young girl's terrible experience with a male can alter/negate her attraction to males. Now think. Does her homosexuality make her hate men? Does that causal chain make sense? No, it's backwards. Her terrible experience makes her hate men. Perhaps that experience also made her a lesbian. It does not follow that her lesbianism causes hate.

Hate of the opposite gender is not an extent of homosexuality. It is a separate thing, arising out of gender relations. Just because sexual orientation also may arise out of gender relations doesn't make it the former's cause.

 

[bondagebabe]

The experience caused the hate, not the being a lesbian but in many cases the experience causes them to become a lesbian so the experience causes the hate and the lesbianism. I have yet to find a lesbian with no negative sexual experience hate men. Lesbians that are lesbian not because of a traumatic event generally don't hate men. Those of us that dislike or hate men are the ones with a traumatic experience. But your right, the experience causes the hate, not the being les

 

[KittenToes]

Don't flame me for this...

First of all- I am in no way, shape, or form a female misogynist. Nor am I a lesbian, btw!

However- because of many bad experiences I've had with women being unkind to me in the past, I tend to find it much easier to make friends with and talk to men.

I think one of the reasons I've had difficulty connecting with my own gender is because I've not really been affected by most "women's issues", at least on the surface. I can't commiserate about, for instance, guys not calling, because in my case guys have never NOT called. Or I can't say I too would love to lose 5 pounds, because I'm just naturally tiny. I can't help that- my whole family is tiny. I've also been accused many times of boyfriend-stealing, when all I did was respond to a hello! I could go on...

Of course I've got loads of issues- just not the normal ones!

I do have female friends, but generally my very close female friends are people I've known since early childhood, or for at least 5-10 years. I probably have about 4 male friends for every female one.

I guess I tend to trust men more because I've found them less likely to have hidden agendas. With the straight ones, all one really has to figure out about them is if they are trying to get in your pants or not. And even if they are trying to do just that, they generally carry on being friends with you after you say no. The only thing that DOES make some fellows stop being friends with you is actually getting married! That's what REALLY sorts out the ones who are truly friendly towards you, because the act of tying the knot, no pun intended, is what causes all the ones who were hoping for some nookie to finally give up. But still, that's only one agenda, and it's not exactly hidden.

I'm not AFRAID of women, but it takes me much longer to trust them. However, when I get to know people (as several TMFers can attest) I'm extremely open and friendly. Just- if you are female and meet me for the first time, say at NEST, please don't be put off if I seem a bit reticent- it's just a question of many times bitten, twice shy!

Actually, at NEST, it's more likely that I'll talk a lot and very quickly, because when I meet many new folks at once, I overcompensate!

How is all this relevant to the OP? To sum up- I do not hate my own gender, but experiences have made me much more wary of it than I am of the opposite sex.

 

[bondagebabe]

Would it have made u strait if u grew up les?