How to improve the personals?

[billylee]

While this is not meant as a gripe column, it seems that the TMF personals simply don't work.

 

[badreligion]

honestly i think alot of it has to do with the way girls get treated here by guys , the reason girls dont respond is because half the time they get bombarded with PMs on the forums or unwanted PCs in the chat room asking the same questions " so r u ticklish on your feet?" " can i see your feet?" "wanna cyber tickle me while i play with myself?". Then there are some people on this site who are just plain creepy the way they go about talking to girls so of course they arnt gonna get the responses they want cause *and im not sayin every guy * but a majority of guys on here are rude and creepy , im not gonna name names but i know a few off the top of my head who have driven a girl off this site , now he will claim that he didnt cause he " talks " to her but hes lying threw his teeth .

so to answer your question , theres nothing wrong with the personals , theres something wrong with the way guys go about talking to girls on the site . Granted it is a fetish site , but its still real life , you wouldnt go up to a girl in the mall and ask her all those questions if you didnt know her, would you ?

So im sure there are guys on here who post in the personal section who are just normal guys looking to meet someone but if your a girl and you experience this from otheres what would make you think this guy would be any different ?

 

[Coda]

I await the day when users can be more-or-less sure that the people they encounter on the TMF represent their identities genuinely, inasmuch as they're comfortable doing so.

In the meantime, I'd remind us just to be aware that not everybody prioritizes in this way. The best thing at this point is probably a reasonable amount of skepticism and willingness to get to know the people you interact with. Surely anyone would think this valuable who was planning to meet, regardless.

 

[Artoo]

Yep. The personals improve when guys stop thinking with their dicks the whole time, and stop dragging the decent guys down with them.

Not to be blunt or anything

 

[badreligion]

Yep. The personals improve when guys stop thinking with their dicks the whole time, and stop dragging the decent guys down with them.

Not to be blunt or anything

i agree 100%

 

[billylee]

Okay, now that we have that out of our systems...

 

[badreligion]

Okay, now that we have that out of our systems... Perhaps one of our women can share her thoughts, or someone can share an instance in which the personals did work. Let's not shrug our shoulders and say nothing can be done. There must be some way of building a network of munches, or a separate link for those who have posted a certain number of times, over a certain period of time ...

get what out of our systems ? we are telling you the reasons why the section doesnt work , you just dont wanna hear it

 

[commander]

get what out of our systems ? we are telling you the reasons why the section doesnt work , you just dont wanna hear it

Exactly. He doesn't want to here why the personals don't work, he wants to improve them so they do work. His very first sentence was, "This is not a gripe..." He's got a good idea started. A network of munches across the country could work.

 

[TKL_M28_LI_NY]

Search parameters

Make it so we can SEARCH by LOCATION. Zip, area code, whatever.

 

[CrystalLight]

You get the idea.
The point is, is there a better method for those who genuinely want to meet? Not meet [and immediately tie you down for an hour], but a process to weed out the lurkers and poseurs. A process in which those who are interested but wary, can go step by step into the result which cannot happen in one meeting, and a process in which we can show that we are not one of the many knuckleheads who post on the existing personals site.
I hereby open the floor to discussion.

You're basically asking for an easier way to meet people?

Friend, I don't know how much easier then the Personal's section it gets..

There is no way to 'weed' out posers or fakes. You have to go about it the same way you would IRL. You correspond back and forth, gather information about the person of intrigue..and use your best common sense/perception to figure if this is someone worth persuing further (If the other party is OK with that)

OR If they are just not checking out ok with you.

YES, there ARE going to be people in there who aren't going to be who they say they are. It's the internet. It's bound to happen. But it's kinda hard to make it any easier then what it is now. And if the interaction get's cut off even if you feel your making head way? Take it with a grain of salt..They're plenty more fish in the sea.

 

[Wolf]

There ARE plenty of fish in the sea...

...but using the personals here is limiting yourself to a small bay, isn't it?

It seems to me that using the TMF personals to find a partner, when one is young, single, and relatively presentable, is limiting your options needlessly, for the sake of not having to "out" yourself to someone who may not be into This Thing of Ours.

It's far easier to find so-called "vanilla" partners (frankly, I think around here, it;s become a derisive term for normal) who not only don't mind tickling, but enjoy it quite a bit. For crying out loud, it's laughing, giggling, squirming, heavy breathing, and all that... you think that's the weirdest thing the average person has encountered on the dating scene?

Do you really want to base a relationship on one aspect of your personality?
And is it that important, that you'd give up the possibility of someone fantastic, someone compatible, who just happens to be (cue scary music) vanilla?

 

[nylonsnfeet]

I agree with the others.
The TMF is no different than "dating" IRL. As guys we need to take time to get to know the ladies, & let them know us.
As an "older" guy, being a GENTLEMAN is always the right choice.
With all the goof balls running around today I don't blame the ladies for being extra cautious.
If I find someone that interests me, I will PM them & ask if they would be interested in getting to know each other, & you go from there. Have met a few dynamite ladies, I might add!!
Be "patient" & most of all be REAL!

 

[Musicroxmysox]

If I remember correctly I'm sure this subject has come up before. Here is my general feelings on all of this hazarih (to use some yiddish.) Personals are mysterious things full of vague what not. You can not rely on two sentences that basically say "I want to tickle you, allow me, etc..." to find a friend. For those of you who want responses trying actually making a whole paragraph or something (goodness you need to say what you want for people to understand, since when.) Also don't get your hopes up, while this is a big site not everyone likes to respond and chat.

Oh and for those that have already said it, men, you are scaring off women when you pm them with stupid can I just tickle you blah blah blah. Anyway yea....good luck.

 

[GEORGIATKLER]

Cyber Here, Cyber There, Cyber Tickle Everywhere

My Parole Officer Gets All His Tickle Dates Through The Tmf Personals...... As Has Been Said, The Tmf Personals Are No Worse Than Any Other Cyber Pool Of People And Do At Least Target A Group That Likes Tickling. Of Course The Phrase "likes Tickling" Can Mean A Variety Of Things To Different People. The Rules Of Safety First And Last, Luck Of The Draw, And Somtimes It Is A Numbers Thing Apply. Let People At Least Somewhat Get To Know You By Your Posts. If Someone Finds You Interesting, They Will Let You Know. If They Don't Find You Interesting They Will Realllly Let You Know!!!

 

[GarreleFeet]

This is my suggestion (it may just reflect my opinion on how everything should be; take it for what it's worth):

We should make the personals just that: personal. Rather than simply making it a place to state locations and requests, make it a place (divided into regional sections) to talk as people with no limitations or criteria.

The Peanut Gallery has spoken.

 

[Tiger.Lily]

I definitely agree with badreligion. The way some of the men on here treat us gals is appalling. I've already been PM molested ... no joke. Complete with the feeling of my breasts and biting my lip.

Creepy, much?

 

[The Sean Man]

I definitely agree with badreligion. The way some of the men on here treat us gals is appalling. I've already been PM molested ... no joke. Complete with the feeling of my breasts and biting my lip.

Creepy, much?

I can imagine it's frustrating not being able to use that laserbeam coconut bra against an unseen assailant...how the hell do ya target them?

 

[lilyisticklish]

The way guys can be.. Not all mind you... here on this forum gets really old. I go into the chatroom to talk to people about tickling and whatever else comes to mind and I get literally 10 wanna cyber messages right off the bat. Almost everyone that I talk to there ask me to cyber during the FIRST time we chat. When I tell them that I do not cyber they stop talking to me. Is it any wonder that girls are hesitant to respond? Come on guys be GENTLEMEN and be HONEST. Those two qualities really get you a lot farther than being RUDE and ABRASIVE.

If you are interested in meeting a girl to tickle- get to know her. Find out what she likes. Ask her how her day was. In many ways meeting a girl to tickle is a lot like dating her. Many of the same rules and things that make dating successful make trying to meet a girl to tickle successful. If a girl is going to meet with someone she is going to want to feel comfortable, safe, and able to trust the person she is meeting.

I apologize for ranting but it seemed like an appropriate place to put this.

 

[lilyisticklish]

One other thing. Please do not feel like I am talking about everyone on the forum. I have made some wonderful friends here including many of the guys.

Hugs to all the decent guys here!

 

[The Sean Man]

The way guys can be.. Not all mind you... here on this forum gets really old. I go into the chatroom to talk to people about tickling and whatever else comes to mind and I get literally 10 wanna cyber messages right off the bat. Almost everyone that I talk to there ask me to cyber during the FIRST time we chat. When I tell them that I do not cyber they stop talking to me. Is it any wonder that girls are hesitant to respond? Come on guys be GENTLEMEN and be HONEST. Those two qualities really get you a lot farther than being RUDE and ABRASIVE.

If you are interested in meeting a girl to tickle- get to know her. Find out what she likes. Ask her how her day was. In many ways meeting a girl to tickle is a lot like dating her. Many of the same rules and things that make dating successful make trying to meet a girl to tickle successful. If a girl is going to meet with someone she is going to want to feel comfortable, safe, and able to trust the person she is meeting.

I apologize for ranting but it seemed like an appropriate place to put this.

Well put. Some people seem to think that the anonymity of the 'net gives them the right to do or say anything they want

 

[lilyisticklish]

Well put. Some people seem to think that the anonymity of the 'net gives them the right to do or say anything they want

Just because a person can do something does not mean they should lol. We have a right to free speech but an obligation to use that right appropriately.

 

[The Sean Man]

The way I look at it is this....if you wouldn't say it to someone's face, you shouldn't be saying it in a chatroom.

 

[phfttklr]

I can imagine it's frustrating not being able to use that laserbeam coconut bra against an unseen assailant...how the hell do ya target them?

It sights in on anything staring at them for more than 2 seconds.

 

[law900]

Improvement

Dear Friends,

If you want to improve the personals, it would be prudent to decide on what people are really looking for. It has been my observation that there is quite a strata here. First off, ask what it is it you would like to see before one contacts another personals participant. Second, what sort of categories should be built into the system. Third, what sort of searching will be required. Forth, it would be nice to sub divide the personals into men -looking-for-men, women-looking-for-women, women-looking-for-men, and men-looking-for-women. Also, a more granular drill-down would be to identify those looking to tickle and those wanting to be tickled. Also, bondage should be addressed, as well as other lighter interest such as looking-for-relationship, just-looking-for-tickle-friend, and/or some others.

Of course the central theme is tickling, if there were a way for more granularity and control for the searcher, the personals would be a better tool. None-the-less, it has served a great purpose thus far - to let those of us in the community to see what the strata of ticklers are like out there - so girls and guys, be careful out there - play responsibly - and don't every meet someone without letting someone else know who and where you will be!

Just my two cents.

Regards,
Faithfully yours Law900

 

[Helena]

I have read through the personals section from time to time. I've noticed a few things.
If a man posts a personal ad, many times it lacks...well...personal info about himself that is beyond the very basic. There is almost always an IM or email addy, and his age, and where he is from. Usually he will designate ler, or lee, or switch. It usually ends with what he is seeking...the type of partner(s) he wishes to meet.
If a man wants to meet a partner for tickling, elaborating on you likes and dislikes would help eliminate potential partners you are not compatable with.
It is also kind of a turn off to feel like a poster of an ad is not selective...like ANYONE WILL DO.
I understand reluctance in giving out personal information besides the very basics in an ad. But, you are trying to meet someone on a fetish forum who you would be compatable with, so you might want to include some of your likes and dislikes outside of tickling so responders can get an idea of who you are.
One other thing I've noticed is that men will respond to each others ads, to either harass posters playfully, or completely dash their hopes. There are a few people who do this continually...and to the posters, I say, it can't be stopped, so expect it.