I don't condone it; BUT I DO UNDERSTAND

[lojak]

what is it that you don't condone but you have an understanding why people do it?

I now understand why men decided to run away from their responsibilities; I don’t condone it but I do understand.

 

[DannyMc]

True love is steadfast , it will embrace the responsibility ...........

 

[TicklishLurker]

I'm sure I'll have my butt flamed both here and in PM for this - but my answer is - abortion.

There's times I can understand it - rape, medical problems, situtations like coming from a small town and finding out your dad's the town whore and your boyfriend is also your half-brother. But those people who are too lazy to use birthcontrol and get abortions more then once.... those ones I don't understand. (Or like that lady someone mention who's fetish was terminating pregnancies. Someone like that should have her uterus removed.)

There's so many people who want to be parents and can't who'd love to adopt an unwanted child. Give them love and a home.

And there's so many different forms of birth control. Lubes with spermicide, vaginal spermicidal inserts, condoms, the pill, etc, that people can get - sometimes even for free.

Yeah, I can understand doing it maybe once. Like if you have a boyfriend you realize is a jerk you don't want to be tied to forever. I don't condone it because I believe from the moment of conception it's a baby and has a soul. But if God can understand and forgive, so can I.

But the ones that do it repeatedly, them I don't get.

 

[Sultrybrunette]

Life is not easy no matter how you look at it. Trust me, woman have the same urge to just get up and disappear. I know because there have been many times I have felt that very way. There is so much more stress now days and it seems the mentality is just to turn around and leave instead of facing up to the responsibilities you have created. I believe alot of people have been in that situation and thats the reason they understand it, even if they don't condone it. Some people are stronger than others and can handle it better. And Danny, even if there is love, sometimes outside forces factor in to still want to up and leave.

 

[DannyMc]

I can understand ......circumstances beyond our control...... I can't understand nor condone the easy way out .........it takes two to tango .........

 

[lojak]

Life is not easy no matter how you look at it. Trust me, woman have the same urge to just get up and disappear. I know because there have been many times I have felt that very way. There is so much more stress now days and it seems the mentality is just to turn around and leave instead of facing up to the responsibilities you have created. I believe alot of people have been in that situation and thats the reason they understand it, even if they don't condone it. Some people are stronger than others and can handle it better. And Danny, even if there is love, sometimes outside forces factor in to still want to up and leave.

i agree with everything execpt the part of about being stronger, sometimes the strong is broken, think of it like a tree, when katrina hit the biggest stronges trees broke under pressure, but the smaller more flexible trees just bend

 

[kis123]

I will NEVER condone or understand a man who walks away from his children to leave the woman to raise them (and vice-versa)! My son was 18 months old when he watched his deadbeat father walk away. He told me that I had my mother and sisters to help me but he had no one to help him. That would've been great if my mother and sisters laid in bed with me to conceive this child, but they didn't and shouldn't be saddled with the responsibility.

Why would you open the door for another man to raise your seed? Why would you want another man to place his value system on your flesh and blood? I will NEVER understand the mentality of a person who walks away. They are spineless cowards who would be better off not alive than to do this to anyone! It cheats and cheapens the child's viewpoint of life in general. It makes a child untrusting of people and relationships. It devalues a child's self-esteem and self-worth; "If I'm not good enough for my own dad, who am I good enough for?" It takes years to get that crap out of a child's system so they can live a normal productive life. All could've been avoided if the man (or woman) would've stayed and worked things through. Once the kids come into a marriage, it's not about "you" anymore-it's about them for the next eighteen years! You're (you being hypothetic) are responsible for that life and how that life turns out. Think long and hard before "you" leave those children-you don't know who you're exposing them to.

 

[kis123]

I'm sure I'll have my butt flamed both here and in PM for this - but my answer is - abortion.

There's times I can understand it - rape, medical problems, situtations like coming from a small town and finding out your dad's the town whore and your boyfriend is also your half-brother. But those people who are too lazy to use birthcontrol and get abortions more then once.... those ones I don't understand. (Or like that lady someone mention who's fetish was terminating pregnancies. Someone like that should have her uterus removed.)

There's so many people who want to be parents and can't who'd love to adopt an unwanted child. Give them love and a home.

And there's so many different forms of birth control. Lubes with spermicide, vaginal spermicidal inserts, condoms, the pill, etc, that people can get - sometimes even for free.

Yeah, I can understand doing it maybe once. Like if you have a boyfriend you realize is a jerk you don't want to be tied to forever. I don't condone it because I believe from the moment of conception it's a baby and has a soul. But if God can understand and forgive, so can I.

But the ones that do it repeatedly, them I don't get.

I couldn't agree more! I don't believe in abortion under any circumstances-that's my personal belief. There are too many women who won't take the precautions, won't listen to advice, are lazy with birth control and will eventually get themselves knocked up. These women tend to be with partners that aren't "ready" to become parents (although they're ready for sex). There are people who are raped and end up pregnant-they shouldn't be forced to raise a child from such a violent act.

But I agree, that girl with the abortion fetish is sick and in need of professional help! And serial-abortionists are no more than murderers to me. Everyone can make one mistake or error in judgement, after that it's just sloppy irresponsibility.

So I don't condone it, but I do understand.

 

[lojak]

Many people that leave are not cowards or spineless they are people that been beaten down or just broken. As you stated that you have your mother and sister for support, but he have no one; I can feel his pain where do he turn when he is overwhelm? Who do he talk to, who is going to support him? Many just are too stress out, depress or overwhelm and need to get away if just a couple of months. When you don’t have anyway to escape they will run.

But again I don’t condone it.

 

[kis123]

Many people that leave are not cowards or spineless they are people that been beaten down or just broken. As you stated that you have your mother and sister for support, but he have no one; I can feel his pain where do he turn when he is overwhelm? Who do he talk to, who is going to support him? Many just are too stress out, depress or overwhelm and need to get away if just a couple of months. When you don’t have anyway to escape they will run.

But again I don’t condone it.

He had me and an 18 month old son-that should've been enough!!

You know what he has now-a bunch of daughters who barely speak to him and a 21year old son (mine), his only son, who doesn't know him and has no desire to get to know him. He has my ex who raised him and calls him "daddy." He doesn't deserve to be his father if the spineless deabeat coward walked away from his responsibilities.

My son is autistic and mentally handicapped-what if I would've walked away from my responsibilities to him because I was stressed out and broken? Who would he have then to rely upon? He'd have the foster care system to care for him, right? When my son spent three years of adolescence running away and having violent fits that included destruction of property (mine and others), you didn't think I wanted to bail out on him? Hell yes I did; I even had thought of moving away while he was at school and he'd come home to an empty house. So don't give me that crap about being broken-I was fired from three jobs and didn't work for over a year because of my son's behavior! I know what broken is! I lost my daughter to his antics-she went to live with her father because she was broken and couldn't take it anymore. I lost 5 years with my daughter over it-did I leave my responsibilities to my children?? Hell no and I went through far more than the average family.

No one, man or woman, is condoned or understood when they walk away from their kids. If I can hang in there, so can they, IMO!

 

[lojak]

He had me and an 18 month old son-that should've been enough!!

You know what he has now-a bunch of daughters who barely speak to him and a 21year old son (mine), his only son, who doesn't know him and has no desire to get to know him. He has my ex who raised him and calls him "daddy." He doesn't deserve to be his father if the spineless deabeat coward walked away from his responsibilities.

My son is autistic and mentally handicapped-what if I would've walked away from my responsibilities to him because I was stressed out and broken? Who would he have then to rely upon? He'd have the foster care system to care for him, right? When my son spent three years of adolescence running away and having violent fits that included destruction of property (mine and others), you didn't think I wanted to bail out on him? Hell yes I did; I even had thought of moving away while he was at school and he'd come home to an empty house. So don't give me that crap about being broken-I was fired from three jobs and didn't work for over a year because of my son's behavior! I know what broken is! I lost my daughter to his antics-she went to live with her father because she was broken and couldn't take it anymore. I lost 5 years with my daughter over it-did I leave my responsibilities to my children?? Hell no and I went through far more than the average family.

No one, man or woman, is condoned or understood when they walk away from their kids. If I can hang in there, so can they, IMO!

i notice most of your replies surround you and your problems. i speaking in general. I don't know about anyone problems but mines, i can't say why your ex left i wasn't there. but, what i can say is this. people has many reason for leaving, it's not my place to judge if those reason was valid or not.

We had a woman leave her 2 kids 13 & 7 in a grocery store because she couldn't feed them. Is she a coward or spineless? Or was so overwhelm and depress that she did what she thought was right?

To blankly statement that your a coward or spineless because you left your family without knowing the reason why it wrong specially when you don’t have all the facts.

 

[drew70]

It's interesting that you put it that way. Because many people defend actions and lifestyles by attempting to descredit any question or criticism as being born out of a lack of understanding or education. To such people disapproval equals ignorance, and anybody doesn't condone, does so because they don't understand.

BDSM Masters/Sadists. They get off on controlling and hurting women. Unless it's self defense, its's wrong for a man to deliberately hurt a woman, and wronger tenfold to actually take pleasure in it.

Easy to understand. Difficult to condone.

 

[kis123]

i notice most of your replies surround you and your problems. i speaking in general. I don't know about anyone problems but mines, i can't say why your ex left i wasn't there. but, what i can say is this. people has many reason for leaving, it's not my place to judge if those reason was valid or not.

We had a woman leave her 2 kids 13 & 7 in a grocery store because she couldn't feed them. Is she a coward or spineless? Or was so overwhelm and depress that she did what she thought was right?

To blankly statement that your a coward or spineless because you left your family without knowing the reason why it wrong specially when you don’t have all the facts.

When people marry, it's supposed to be for life! You know the vows, it's until death, remember? It's not if you're stressed, broken, or whatever excuse a person uses. If someone leaves their kids to be raised by someone other than them, they're spineless cowards in my book!

The woman who walked away from her kids is SPINELESS-there's welfare, soup kitchens, and food banks that can help feed her children. I know how it is to have two kids to raise with no help-I never walked away from them. You NEVER walk away from your kids---no excuses....NEVER!! You made them, you raise them, plain and simple!! If you don't want the responsibilities, don't make them!!

I don't need the facts-you make the vow (you being hypothetical) you should keep the vows. Now, if it's a life-threatening situation, do whatever is necessary to save yourself and take the kids with you. Why would a person leave kids in a life-threatening (drugs, alcohol, abuse) situation? If you leave and don't take the kids with you, then you're simply looking out for yourself which makes you (hypothetical) a spineless coward regardless of excuse.

My opinions come from life experiences, plain and simple. At least I have life experience to support my opinions. And they're my opinions, no one has to agree with me! You create thread after thread based on your problems, so what's with the comment anyway? Just another attempt to water down my comments right?

The bottom line is you don't condone it but understand. There are things in my life that I don't condone yet understand. Walking away from your flesh and blood is NOT one of them!

 

[lojak]

personally i'm tire of this, i will no longer respond to any of your post or replies and i request that you do the same for me.

thank you

 

[kis123]

personally i'm tire of this, i will no longer respond to any of your post or replies and i request that you do the same for me.

thank you

Sometimes, when you start mess, you'll get some back. Maybe you should think about that before you start your "thread-making."

If you post in public and I find it response-worthy, I will respond-thank you very much.

 

[lojak]

Sometimes, when you start mess, you'll get some back. Maybe you should think about that before you start your "thread-making."

If you post in public and I find it response-worthy, I will respond-thank you very much.

I will respond via pm and send a copy to mimi so there will not be any misundersandings.