I pose to you a moral tickling dilemma

[ISUmark]

Hello friends. A situation has arisen in my life I was hopin I could get some advice on:

Backstory: There was a girl from high school that came to visit me in college back in the day. Solely with the intention of being tied up and fooling around. Of course, tickling occurred. She knows about my fetish and is very receptive, but after our encounter I didn't see her at all.

Fast Forward to now. Found each other on facebook and started talking again. She is open to having another session with me, same as before. bondage, tickling, and whatever happens after. She is a very attractive girl who is quite ticklish. Now heres the kicker. Shes married.

Now before everyone jumps down my throat hear me out. Normally in this situation I would back off immediately as my moral compass started goin haywire when I found out. BUT the difference in this situation is as follows:
Shes been married for 8 years, happy for 3. They still live together but he sleeps in the living room. They are getting divorced in the next year. She has been dating people off and on, and he is currently dating someone.

So now you see the dilemma. On one hand, marriage is marriage, but on the other hand...is this really a marriage? Sounds like it is over to me and they are just going to go ahead and get a divorce, plus they date people now..So im torn. Any advice on this one friends?

 

[Comfort Eagle]

They're openly dating other people, and thus are not "married"-married. Go for it. For all you know they're already fucking other people.

 

[ticklesndimes]

If the situation is really bothering you, then you shouldn't do it. You said it yourself, "marriage is marriage" which is how you feel whether or not they're dating other people. Don't let wanting to indulge in your fetish make you compromise your morality.You know yourself better than anyone and I feel like you shouldn't do what is obviously making you uncomfortable because at the end of the day you don't want to feel like you did something wrong.

 

[rhiannon]

Chapeau to your moral compass going off, but seriously - it is not your problem! It's not you who's married, it's her. Unless you know her husband, that's a different story.

 

[milagros317]

I would say that, since they have already decided to divorce and she is dating other people with her husband's knowledge, you are free to go ahead and meet her.

 

[c7_assassin]

I say if she's willing to do it, you're off the hook. It's her (failed) marriage, not yours.

 

[marcusb]

Kudos to you being concerned.

Follow her lead... but I'm always wary when things are in flux. Tread lightly.

 

[Myriads]

There is only one morality at play here; yours.

You are the only person that has to live with your choice.

In your moral framework you clearly place a value on marriage, in that you feel that violating someone else's marriage bond is 'wrong'.

So the question becomes do YOU see as what she is still involved in as a marriage?

If yes, then you are probably violating your morality. If no, then you can probably act without any long term moral questions.

Myriads

 

[Libertine]

A woman offering herself never forgives a man for refusing, or hesitating.

 

[Cosmo_ac]

If they are seeing other people openly, then I would say go for it. At this point, they are essentially separated and trying to move on with their lives. That being said, as Myriads pointed out, if it violates your sense of morality, and you do not think you should do it, then don't. In the end, you have to live with your own choices.

 

[Coda]

If the open-type relationship that they've agreed on permits it, then yes. If there's any doubt about that, ask for her to clarify whether it does.

 

[BrightEyes1082]

The divorce isn't final until the divorce is final. I learned the hard way that people say they
are going to leave their spouse but then don't. Now I won't even date someone who is separated
and living apart from their spouse.

 

[The Listening]

A lot of good responses to your post but depends on how you look at it.

If you're not looking for anything other than a good time, go for it. Otherwise, wait until she finalizes the divorce.

 

[chicago]

I've always found it's better not to enter into a sticky situation and rather wait it out until the coast is clear. Also, could just be her side of the story and who knows if it's entirely accurate.

 

[MrPeanut]

Like Rhiannon says, it's not your problem. Even if she were still happily married. Her marriage, her responsibility. Your responsibility is to make the most out of any opportunity for a play session.

 

[Mitchell]

If they date other people, it's highly possible/probable that a lot more intimate encounters than just tickling (Sex) occur for one, or both of them.

I once knew a couple who were getting divorced, and the husband began living with another woman before the divorce was even final. This man's wife's attorney told the wife, that, technically, the guy was committing adultery, because the divorce wasn't final, even though they were living separately, so whose to say?

The real question is how you feel about it. If you can accept her situation as it is, then I say go for it. If you have reservations about it, then maybe its best you not. I've always found that one has to follow their own heart, and no advice anyone gives can really influence them either way.

Good Luck with whatever decision you make.

 

[Emishticklish]

I suggest you go for it.

 

[ISUmark]

Thanks for the advice everyone. Im taking it all into consideration on both sides of the argument. Ill definitely keep you updated and let you know if anything materializes out of it. That's why I come here cuz you guys are awesome!

 

[Bohemianne]

Given the opportunity, complicated but smooth track and your mature age, I think you can handle it already. Maybe you can focus more on friendship first. Take it slow and plunge straight after the divorce.

 

[Darkknight]

She told you her side of it but I was in a similar situation many years ago, you just never really know what is going on with her home situation but her side of it.

She is an adult and totally get your moral side of it, it often jumped on me but I think you have your head screwed on better than I ever did and will make the right choice for yourself. If it feels right or ok, go for it... if it doesn't, wait a little bit.

DK

 

[Flatfoot]

Just some food for thought, since you're in the service. I don't know how burn-happy the Army is compared to the Marine Corps--I also don't know your individual circumstances, but I can only speak from personal experience. I was in a similar situation to you. I had a green light from the husband to pursue. However, he grew resentful and complained. The long and short is that I ended up getting NJP'd under Article 134 for harboring an inappropriate relationship with another Marine's wife.

 

[fecil]

You waited this long, wait until she's completely out of the marriage. You don't know for certain what the truth is between them, and from a karmic standpoint you need to wait it out.

 

[TripleH1]

Do it up man, no reason to miss a great session because of others hang ups.

 

[Destro]

When in doubt, don't. There is an alarm going off in your head for a reason. If that marriage is over, why is she waiting so long to start the divorce? Personally, I don't think she is giving you the whole story. It's your decision, but don't be surprised to ultimately find yourself in a situation that you didn't want to be in. That is why you have such doubts now.

 

[-Hari-]

Marriage is marriage

Marriage is Paper

From what you've said, the marriage was over a long time ago and they are waiting on other paper to make it official.

Green light as far as morals.

However, depending on what you do there could be other bits of paper that say she committed adultery if she doesn't wait... although I could be wrong, O'm not overly savvy on that sort of thing.

Either way, that's the only risk I can see and that's her risk, not yours.