I'm confused lol

[HerLerHisLee]

So I can't believe there isn't a couple, or female ler/Lee on this east coast... that won't respond back to any messages, talk, or willing to meet up lol.... Pretty weird lol we're all here for pretty much the same reason lol So, the offer is still there from us ... Hit us up! Live a little TMF.. geez lol

 

[the tickleshow]

I've been barking up that tree since I got here. I have yet to meet a female 'lee here. I've never gone beyond a PM here and there. It's odd, but I suppose not completely unexpected.

 

[MrTicklee]

For what it's worth, I have met most of my play partners at events/gatherings like SIG or NEST. It's easier to build a relationship that eventually grows into play.

 

[kingofkaboom]

I know what you mean. I posted a few personal ads before and never got a response. One of them I didn't specify that I was looking for a female and I ended up getting quite a few messages from men. I've seen women post personals before but the closest one I saw was 4 hours away from me.

 

[HerLerHisLee]

Yea I hear you.... Most events are basically high school clique parties and if you don't know anyone or have a partner your basically ignored lol I don't know, it's one of those things were you can't relate to a single person in there because they're all extremely anti social people or something ... But I mean lets be real... I'm guessing everyone in the personals or on this site is looking for tickling play, we try to be kind to everyone but it's like when we put an ad up and someone from across the country just wants to fill your inbox with pointless conversation...its dumb.... And you respond to other ads on here with a legit and realistic response to play... It's like a ghost town lol makes it a very upsetting place to try and live out this fetish we have haha

 

[ticklerpilot]

Yeah I know what u mean, I mean a lot of it is due to there being a fair number of creeps but if you put up a post saying female Lee searching for male ler in my area, and I respond or pm you saying I am a male ler in your area let's chat a bit. I don't see how that's creepy or why it never gets a response. I know it's a simple message but to me that seems like a good thing, starting simple and slow and opening it up to conversation to allow things to build towards play.

 

[raynman_27]

Hey mate(s)! I've been around these parts for a bit. I've been into tickling longer. I've been to exactly one real "event", and it was anything but clicquey. People were outgoing and friendly and understanding.

I am dying to go to NEST, but a work conflict always seems to come up for me. Perhaps this year will be my first but work comes above all for me unfortunately.

I hope you find what you are looking for and I'd be happy to chat with you in this thread or offline if you want.

//R

 

[jonny86]

As someone who has met or chatted with multiple female lers/lees, I can give my two cents.

1) Most don't actually post/try to have a huge presence on here because of how your average group of guys will PM flood the girl's box. Hell, the way I met my main 'ler is that she simply PMed me out of the blue because she liked a post I made.

2) A large majority of posts from guys/couples looking for a 'ler/'lee come off as sounding so desperate or not at all caring or implying they're basically requesting a service ("Hi, I'm a 22 m lee, ticklish feet, looking for female ler. PM me" or "I really neeeeeed someone to tickle meeee!").

3) If you're looking for a female ler, you will have a much better time just... dating. Lots of girls would love the idea of tying down the person they're dating, and if tickling is something that'll make them happy, they're pretty happy to do it considering it doesn't exactly take a whole lot of effort on their part.

 

[Rachissahope]

Two words: Fet Life.

I have found that TMF people and FetLife people are two totally different breeds. TMF people like to stand you up, flake out on you, drop off the face of the earth, and lie about who they say they are. Why? No idea. But I have yet to meet someone from TMF.

FetLife is actually where I found my current Ler (FINALLY! After years of searching)
The people on there are more real. They treat fetlife like a kinky Facebook and take pride in what they post. Plus you can join your local kink community or different groups and go to parties and munches, so there are so many options on that site aswell.

 

[Nedstacey2]

Most events are basically high school clique parties and if you don't know anyone or have a partner your basically ignored lol I don't know, it's one of those things were you can't relate to a single person in there because they're all extremely anti social people or something

Though I've been to only one TK event in my life (the '14 NEST), the experience was entirely the opposite. If anything, I was the extremely anti-social one and it deprecated my experience, nevertheless that didn't stop many of the other attendees, particularly the leadership group, from trying to reach out to me in an accepting and non-threatening way. True, the ice breaks more quickly if you're already known even just through your online presence, but I can vouch for what a friendly environment it is for even a first-time complete stranger, as long as you observe some basic standards of decorum and decency. So I'm with raynman_27 and MrTicklee on this:

I've been to exactly one real "event", and it was anything but clicquey. People were outgoing and friendly and understanding. I am dying to go to NEST, but a work conflict always seems to come up for me.

For what it's worth, I have met most of my play partners at events/gatherings like SIG or NEST. It's easier to build a relationship that eventually grows into play.

And I believe MrTicklee's second point is spot on: despite living in this age of Craigslist, Backpage, Tinder, Grindr or whatever, there's no virtual substitute for the chemistry that can truly develop only through in-person contact and interaction (and this from a man who met his now-deceased wife through an early, text-only precursor of AOL).

I also echo Rachissahope's comments about FetLife. It's true that our minority fetish tends to get lost in the sea of kinkery that is FetLife and there are folks unfamiliar with us who tend toward disdain if not outright mockery, but on the whole as Rachissahope noted it's a vibrant general community and a particularly good source for notice of TK and other BDSM events that some of us might have an affinity for.

 

[to_tikle]

AGREE!!!!! I have had WAY more success on FET then through here!

 

[tiklir]

I have actually met several people from here without attending a gathering. The thing is it takes time and patience. Women need to feel safe first and foremost in my experience. I know most guys do not want to hear that, but that has been the secret to success for myself and my lees. The personals have been a lead in on here as has the chat room for beginnings. Once a relationship has formed, trust slowly follows. The tickling happens way down the line for the most part. I have yet to have a woman contact me and go right to being tickled within hours or days. I have had to travel to most as well. Slim pickings locally. So heads up fellas..it can be done!

 

[magic fingers]

Yea I hear you.... Most events are basically high school clique parties and if you don't know anyone or have a partner your basically ignored lol I don't know, it's one of those things were you can't relate to a single person in there because they're all extremely anti social people or something ... But I mean lets be real... I'm guessing everyone in the personals or on this site is looking for tickling play, we try to be kind to everyone but it's like when we put an ad up and someone from across the country just wants to fill your inbox with pointless conversation...its dumb.... And you respond to other ads on here with a legit and realistic response to play... It's like a ghost town lol makes it a very upsetting place to try and live out this fetish we have haha

I hear ya. That kind of "cliquey attitude" was the reason I no longer attend NEST. NEST was a much more open and friendly environment when QB Weaver was in charge