Impromptu Date Turns Awkward

[ticklehound]

Hey everyone...

Soooo, I had an interesting day yesterday. What started out as a seemingly innocent happy hour meet after work turned into something awkward. Now, most of us realize that bringing up tickling to a 'vanilla' can be tricky, and I used that as a way to deter her advances.

Let me explain: I'm not used to actively being pursued by women, but this one associate at work definitely has me in her sights. She's cute and funny but pretty aggressive. However, due to the inherent stickiness of getting intimately involved with someone where I work, I tried my best to politely reject her. I love my job and the last thing I want is for someone to fuck it up.

So, I kept my distance, ignored her texts, and acted aloof when she was flirting with me at work. But yesterday, she knew where I'd like to go after work, and wanted to hang out. And I thought if I hung out with her ONCE & set my boundaries, I could defuse the tension.

I was among fellow bar patrons I've become acquainted with, so it would be as casual as possible. We talked and drank & in all, had a pretty good time. But I knew, despite my efforts, to her, this was a fuckin' date. Hell, even the bartender told me when she left for the bathroom, "Dude, she's soo into you!"

At some point, the conversation got to "Things We Do for Excitement." She mentioned sky-diving, and in my ale-pickled brain, something clicked. I countered with TICKLING! I didn't do Full TMF disclosure, but opened up a little about being tied & tickled. Before I knew it, I was making a full-blown sales pitch for our team.

I figured: If she's recoiled by it, she'll run away... and if she doesn't, well worst-case scenario, I might have found a tickle playmate. And let me tell you; she got quiet pretty quick. She said she's crazy ticklish & wouldn't be able to handle it. It was surreal how awkward things got. In the end, I may have succeeded.

I'm not entirely proud of the way things went, and I could definitely have handled this better, but what's done is done. Anyway, I thought I'd share.

 

[Darkknight]

Well played TKHound, I would have approached that situation the same way. Win, win for you.

DK

 

[mabus]

Well, you got rid of her!

Unless she ponders and thinks about it, and decides you're hot enough to tickle her anyway!

(Boy, that would be a win.)

Good luck whatever happens.

(I wonder how guys react to girls telling them they love tickling, we always seem to get the guys telling girls perspective.....)

 

[okdremur]

Sounds like problem solved, however, sounds like she may have been a good one to tickle like crazy!!

 

[peter]

hahaha DUDE you rock
How did she react after this "date" does she leave you alone or does she want to know more about your tickling fetish?

 

[laughaholic89]

I couldn't imagine having this conversation I would be really nervous

 

[C.A.B.]

Actually, even with a brain steeped in ale; I think it was all very apropos and well handled. Excellent gambit, by the by.

 

[FLBowler]

Hopefully things have worked out, you're smart about not wanting to screw up work. At least you were as close to a gentleman as you could. So it'll be interesting to see how things are the next time she sees you.

 

[ElFewja]

Hah. Interesting turn of events.

Wouldn't be surprised if a few days pass and she starts asking about it in more detail. Maybe she'll want to try? That'll suck because it's exactly what you don't want. Well, you know what I mean.

On a related note I watched a friend discussing relationships with his bros lately and he -- my friend -- complained that any time he/a guy in general pursues a relationship it seems to not work, whereas people who aren't or are otherwise jerks to girls somehow pull it off. There was a bit of discussion as to why (I just wrote it off as trying too hard to convince someone who isn't interested to be interested and how that sort of alienates the girl, because you can't really control whether or not she 'likes' you) but this thread reminded me of it. It made me think, if that's true, the staying aloof thing drawing women closer, then your actions may have been all for naught anyway =/.

I find in similar situations that just telling the truth up front or coming up with some small lie has a more decent chance of ending said followings. Well, hope everything works out in a way that you want it to, at least.

 

[jetergirl5]

I agree! Well played. She will be back!

 

[marcusb]

You have not disposed of her. If she's that in to you she's going to come back with tickling-related "something" cuz now she knows what you like.

 

[Candygirl]

...(I wonder how guys react to girls telling them they love tickling, we always seem to get the guys telling girls perspective.....)

I've done it more than a few times. It's not so very different actually. It can still be awkward or lead to an awesome time for later, depending on how it is approached and handled on both sides of it and the connection already established.

More to the point of the OP though, either way sounds like you win. She goes away, or you make a new friend. So good job with that and thank you for sharing

 

[ticklehound]

Thanks for the positive feedback... Interesting takes I must say...

A little update. I've only gotten 2 texts from her last night after I left (and none today): the first saying she had a "great time" and the other apologizing for seeming too "uptight." I kinda got the sense that maybe it dawned on her that if she pursued me further, she might find herself in a very compromising situation. She clearly ain't ready for that.

For me, I'm just not that into her. Also, technically, while I'm not her boss, I'm still in a position above her. Work is hard enough already without this kinda office romance drama. I've seen people quit, marriages broken and faces smashed.

That said, if she wants to try this tickling thing.......

 

[Oddjob0226]

And you were honest and up front about it, whihc is what so many of us - very well meaning, but ashamed/afraid - have trouble doing. So really, despite what your intentions were, the ball is in her court. The only other thing to do would be to hurt or embarrass her by telling her flat out you are not interested and she needs to stop. A tough situation all around.

 

[milagros317]

You have not disposed of her. If she's that in to you she's going to come back with tickling-related "something" cuz now she knows what you like.

I think this will likely happen. Be ready for it.

 

[Oddjob0226]

Or, she now has a somewhat embarrassing fact to spread around at work....

 

[ialwayseatsalmo]

I think this will likely happen. Be ready for it.

Yeah, I was sort of going to say this. I imagine a follow-up post in about 2 weeks saying 'vanilla I told I like tickling gave in and is letting me tickle her'.

Definitely a win-win for you. You played the whole situation about as perfectly as possible. You introduced the fetish as something that seemed normal to you and others, and didn't make it seem as it was something you obsess over (which is something I feel some of us struggle with). Cheers to you for playing it really well, and hopefully you get a good tickle relationship out of this. Some girls are inherently kinky and into things that seem abnormal to them, and this girl sort of sounds like the type. You may have struck gold here. Best of luck to you!

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

I'm impressed. You took a potentially awkward problem and turned it into a win-win situation. Way to go.

 

[rhiannon]

Or, she now has a somewhat embarrassing fact to spread around at work....

That's what my first thought was.

 

[ticklehound]

I most definitely will keep y'all posted. Haha, what's funny is that telling her I liked tickling wasn't the awkward part; it was being in the highly unique situation (for me) of being crushed upon that made me uncomfortable. It's so unique that I'd been totally cluless she was into me until it was fuckin' obvious.

I mean, I was actually telling her about tickling, hoping it would put her off - like it's done before. It may have... but y'all may be right, it may not have. And if so, take notes .

 

[Lttg]

Why exactly could you not just deal with it like an adult and tell her straight up that you're flattered by the attention but don't think it's a good idea to get involved with a work colleague?

Edit: sorry forgot what site I was on for a moment. Of course we have to shoehorn our fetish into all of our personal and professional relationships. Otherwise we're just not trying hard enough!

 

[FLBowler]

Or, she now has a somewhat embarrassing fact to spread around at work....

Idk since she has made it so clear that she wants him and he has shown no interest. Going back to the drama thing. It would pretty easy to use her "rumors" against her. Plus im figuring she doesn't want to show unprofessionalism in the workplace.

 

[ticklehound]

Boy, LTTG, way to change the discourse. First of all, I concede, I definitely could've handled this differently, but I'm not disappointed by the way it went down. Second, people often "shoehorn" their hobbies, their politics, their religion, & yes, their sexual lives into general conversation. I see no reason why that's a problem. And lastly, c'mooon, we're just having fun here!

 

[Lttg]

Well the world needs differing opinions. Especially this place, otherwise it just becomes an echochamber for justifying all sorts of inappropriate and creepy behaviour.

 

[ElFewja]

Lttg: Like I mentioned in my post, that isn't always effective. From my experience, it's rarely effective even if you're harsh. Does that mean it's not effective at all? No.

I understand the creepy statement behavior but I think this is a situation where it's acceptable. Look at it from her point: she's interested in this guy and they go on a sort of date/hang out. He, up front, discusses what interests him and she's potentially not interested in partaking in his hobbies/what turns him on, so she stops pursuing. It's a much better scenario than ultimately hooking up, finding out he's into things that she can't handle and then she feels like she has to bail or else avoid the subject.

He was up front and honest about his sexual life with someone who was, I think, interested in him sexually. I don't see that as a problem. It might not have been the best time assuming that this was a budding relationship but as stated by the op, he didn't want that.