Introducing tickling in a new relationship

[CS22]

Hey all,

Can anyone give advice on how to get a new partner to tickle you? I’m a bit shy and am embarrassed to bring it up or talk about it. I just couldn’t do it. Of course I have that fear of being thought of as weird, although I wish I didn’t feel that way. I’m not sure I want to date someone who doesn’t like to tickle as I’ve done that before and I feel that something is missing for me as I love to be tickled so much. I would like to find out earlier on if this person enjoys it or would indulge me. Anyone have any helpful stories or tips?

 

[natscott6282]

I have the same worry about bringing up my fixation with tickling ppl ��

 

[Jmw]

I'd say you would have to mention it eventually. If they say yes or are curious about it then cool! Everyone has needs in a relationship and if tickling is something you need (and they can't provide it) then it's probably best to find another person that accepts you for who you are. I mean you don't want to live the rest of your life with someone in fear that they might not accept you. But yeah mentioning tickling to someone can be scary.

 

[Wrestledom]

Lead to it step by step. See if you can get talking about kinks first. Establish that they're open and not the kink-shaming kind. Is bondage and/or domination/submission a part of your tickling kink too? you could go there as well, they're borderline mainstream now. Or honestly, you could go straight with the tickling.

It's a very harmless kink, especially since you're a woman, and a lee. So honestly most guys are just going to find it cute even if they're not into it.

I've been nervous about it in the past and honestly, once you cross that barrier, things are so much more fun.

 

[Lee Ishler]

I've found it depends on the person. I was with a girl that seemed to like doing it to me, even though she wasn't into tickling per se. I think once the relationship is going in a positive direction, it's OK to mention it, I don't think it's all that weird. If it's someone who really likes you, they should be glad to do it, if they know it pleases you.

I did get someone to like being tickled, by doing it to her while stimulating erogenous zones at the same time. But I don't know if that will work with everyone.

 

[Myriads]

To be frank, life is short, and time is the only thing you'll never get more of.

If you are in a relationship with a person that you like and seems to like you, and you are close enough to be fucking, then both of you should be telling each other what you want as part of that fucking. "Tee Tee I hope he guesses that I like X" and "I bet if I drop enough clues she'll figure it out!" Just waste a lot of time that you can't get back with your partner, and you have a bunch of experiences that while good could be a heck a lot better if you partner had the instruction manual.

I fully realize that opening up to people this way is scary as all hell. And when you are just starting out in your 20's it seems a horrible hurdle to leap. But as the decades roll by and you add on the years, you reach a point where you start to think "Fuck I wasted so much time and opportunities back when I was 'X' years old, I wish I could redo that now knowing what I know."

Fear is harsh to deal with. But too often the solution to fear today is regret in the future.

Myriads

 

[Fat Bastard]

Well after the relationship is comfortably intimate, tell her you have a secret, and has to promise to never reveal it to anyone, ever. After she agrees and understands the importance of keeping it strictly confidential, instead of saying it, show her something related to the subject and let her realize it on her own.

This is how I approached it with my wife when we started dating over thirty-five years ago. I showed her my collection of "Variations" magazines. Each had tickling listed on the cover as one of several topics for a respective issue. It took her a minute to put it together, but when she did, her face lite up and she enthusiastically blurted out "Tickling!".

We discussed further and she was happy to try it out. I don't think there's been a day since, if we're physically together, that she isn't tickled in one fashion or another.

 

[jayson752003]

Always remember, just because she may "like" to indulge you now, doesn't mean she will like it on down the road either.

 

[Nedward]

Waiting will only prolong your frustration and misery. Allow yourself what you want by expressing what you want. Don't waste your time growing to care for someone that won't be satisfying.

 

[CS22]

I am into bondage yes, someone had asked that. Also, I am getting older now and maybe you are right, it’s best to just be myself. I heard this podcast last week where a lee had pointed out to introduce the kink as a positive and fun part of the relationship. I do like this and she is probably right.

Thank you all for your comments and advice. Everyone who has commented so far has valid, excellent points. Definitely need to think about some things but I want to do what is best for myself. I’m getting too old to just skirt around the topic.

 

[pool234]

Being open about it is important. It may not be to the same level of what you might want, but if the person you want to be with is unwilling to entertain what makes you happy, then you are going to feel like you are missing out on something in the relationship and that's not a recipe for a good relationship.

I had a first experience with bringing it up in a vanilla relationship. It came up a little organically as we became comfortable with touch and it is easy to exaggerate a little to make the point and see if your partner picks up with it when you discuss being ticklish. She amuses me and has started growing into it more with me and we find our own way to make it fun with ourselves. She may not ever be comfortable enough to go to a gathering like I have before, but what we have between us has been wonderful and I wouldn't trade it.

Best of luck!

 

[JohnTK]

What I do is to first playfully tickle her ribs or feet and ask innocently: have you every tried tickling sexually? have you seen those porn videos that combine tickling with a little bondage and then lead to a very wild orgasm? Trust me they are usually curious and that is when I have a video prepared, usually some Czech tickling video. Make sure it is not a video with just tickling because that might weird her / him out, always pick one that has some vibrator and orgasm action as well. Ask questions while watching like : how would you feel if someone did this to you, or "would you prefer to have it done to you or do it to someone?" you will be surprised to see that many times other people are more open to try new stuff than you might expect.

 

[DarylKeith]

I am into bondage yes, someone had asked that. Also, I am getting older now and maybe you are right, it’s best to just be myself. I heard this podcast last week where a lee had pointed out to introduce the kink as a positive and fun part of the relationship. I do like this and she is probably right.

Thank you all for your comments and advice. Everyone who has commented so far has valid, excellent points. Definitely need to think about some things but I want to do what is best for myself. I’m getting too old to just skirt around the topic.

I have read some comments by other women who enjoy being tickled, but can't seem to find a suitable partner (even just a tickle play partner). That always surprises me, since I would think most men would love to indulge that type of physical play with a willing female. Like others have said, if it is so much a part of 'you' being 'you', then the topic/desire must be brought up eventually. Once you are becoming intimate with a person, I would think it would be easy to do some seemingly 'spontaneous' tickling to see how THEY react, and when they 'get you back', you can tell them how the experience of being tickled really turns you on, and maybe open up a discussion that way. Would love to hear how any further experiences work out for you!

 

[duderino84]

I always tried to work it in at the beginning because the more you try to change in the future, your partner can associate that with boredom or goofiness. But I'm the unsuccessful relationship guy, so here's your wildcard.

 

[jayson752003]

To be frank, life is short, and time is the only thing you'll never get more of.

If you are in a relationship with a person that you like and seems to like you, and you are close enough to be fucking, then both of you should be telling each other what you want as part of that fucking. "Tee Tee I hope he guesses that I like X" and "I bet if I drop enough clues she'll figure it out!" Just waste a lot of time that you can't get back with your partner, and you have a bunch of experiences that while good could be a heck a lot better if you partner had the instruction manual.

I fully realize that opening up to people this way is scary as all hell. And when you are just starting out in your 20's it seems a horrible hurdle to leap. But as the decades roll by and you add on the years, you reach a point where you start to think "Fuck I wasted so much time and opportunities back when I was 'X' years old, I wish I could redo that now knowing what I know."

Fear is harsh to deal with. But too often the solution to fear today is regret in the future.

Myriads

Excellent advice right here !

 

[DarylKeith]

I have the same worry about bringing up my fixation with tickling ppl ��

It can be very difficult to broach the subject when you have a great desire or need for ticking or to be tickled. It gets to the core of who you are, and is very intimate. I guess I would say early in a relationship you could try seeing how your person responds to tickle play/tickle 'fights'. By their reactions, you can gauge how quickly to divulge your 'fixation'. Also, I guess it depends on whether the relationship has long term romantic possibilities or just a friend for/with 'tickle benefits'.
.
Before I met my wife, I had some good tickling experiences, some w bondage (always lighter play, nothing really torturous). My wife is not into tickling just for the sake of tickling, or 'harder' intense levels of tickling ( I could be happy either way as Lee or Ler in those situations). But we do enjoy the lighter, sensual side of tickling/tickling foreplay as a way to enhance our lovemaking. And since I find tickling of any kind very arousing, it works for me (and her).

Good luck with your journey, you sound like a nice and thoughtful woman.

 

[AreYouTicklish]

My simple thought. Dont make it weird. Just be casual. Its what you like and you be cool about it. Show it in a fun light. If they are dead set against then that will never change. But if they are open to it you will be fine.

 

[DarylKeith]

My simple thought. Dont make it weird. Just be casual. Its what you like and you be cool about it. Show it in a fun light. If they are dead set against then that will never change. But if they are open to it you will be fine.

You're right about being up front and casual. The times I have convinced people I knew to be tickle play partners, I spoke about it casually and how I thought they would enjoy it if we tried it (and they did). Of course, made it sound fun and without any weirdness at all---Explained how we could play safely (even with bondage in some instances). It worked out nice for everyone involved.

 

[AreYouTicklish]

You're right about being up front and casual. The times I have convinced people I knew to be tickle play partners, I spoke about it casually and how I thought they would enjoy it if we tried it (and they did). Of course, made it sound fun and without any weirdness at all---Explained how we could play safely (even with bondage in some instances). It worked out nice for everyone involved.

Its way less scary for the other person if its revealed in a carefree way. Its no big deal, just a thing ya like. They usually are very open to at least give it a shot. Ive always had great results that way.