Is it bad that I no longer care too much about 'investing' into the forum?

[Excess]

Yeah, over the years I've become increasingly jaded and cynical. I still am friendly and such but it's harder for me to really give much a crap about things anymore. I mean I used to be a lot more friendly in the way of trying to make new friends. But now I just no longer care that much. I'm not sure why that is, and no it's not cuz I'm in school now and thus surrounded by others.

I get the feeling that it's because I feel that there's no point. That most people are either too shallow, too self-interested or whatever, that they feel "Eh I've got enough friends, I don't need any more", that they've already made enough judgments on me that they've decided I'm not 'their type' (not in terms of relationship status of course ), or that I'm just not 'interesting'. Of course it could be any number of things and I can't be assed to think about it too hard cuz I've got more important things to think about. Like reasons why I hate infomercials. XD

I've thought about being more active again, but then I just go 'eh'. Granted I do procrastinate a bit but I guess I'm at a period in life where I'm looking at things and their long-term consequences a bit. What's the point? Where will it take things? What will it do for myself and those around me? Am I too dissatisfied with certain status of the forum or is there something deeper? The hell if I know but that's why I'm making this thread (well that and boredom).

Anyone else ever feel this way or similar? Or have anything to say about this kind of thinking? Or just that you think I'm a prick? XD

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

Ummmmm....

Peace?

 

[MrMacphisto]

Alcohol is a great social anxiety drug.

 

[Cy/MiG]

Yeah, over the years I've become increasingly jaded and cynical. I still am friendly and such but it's harder for me to really give much a crap about things anymore.

...

Anyone else ever feel this way or similar? Or have anything to say about this kind of thinking? Or just that you think I'm a prick? XD

And cue the music:

"And I'm proud to be an American---where at least I know I'm free!"

But more seriously:

Welcome to the party. Take a seat next to all the Gen-X'ers and your waitress will be right with you.

To answer your questions by the numbers:

Anyone else ever feel this way or similar?

All the time, brother. Years ago and ever since.

I have a sneaking suspicion that almost everyone else feels like this, but masks it with materialism and escapism. But who knows?

Or have anything to say about this kind of thinking?

While the 'golden rule' applies, I say fuck it (meaning thinking about it). See more below, but my thought is if you can't be happy with yourself, not much else matters. And screw others if they can't accept you.

You are what you are, I am what I am, people are who they are (or, at least, should be). If we can't accept each other or have no desire to, perhaps that's the way it should be.

Or just that you think I'm a prick?

I don't know you, but I'd say no. And even if you were, so what?

Admission is a great thing. Better to be a self-proclaimed prick than an ignorant douche, right?

First off---relax. Again, I have a feeling we all get 'burnt out', so take a minute to shut off your brain and try and forget the jaded-ness.

As per things to do to possibly feel less jaded:

1. Try to 'please yourself' or do something that makes you feel accomplished, meaning do something that you've always wanted to do but couldn't (not other type of pleasing yourself ), like take a trip to Europe or something existential like.

If that fails then,

2. Try to help others. Genuinely. If you 'can't get no satisfaction' helping yourself, serve the servants.

If that doesn't work, move to Casablanca and open up a casino-bar named 'Ricks'.

That seems to have worked for a guy I know.

 

[Excess]

Ummmmm....

Peace?

I don't follow.

Alcohol is a great social anxiety drug.

Been there, I stopped drinking so much though since it got out of hand.

I have a sneaking suspicion that almost everyone else feels like this, but masks it with materialism and escapism. But who knows?

Yeah, I get that idea too, hence why I mentioned that part. And yet people are often unwilling to admit such even when faced with someone else who does. But then it's easier for some people for whatever reason.

While the 'golden rule' applies, I say fuck it (meaning thinking about it). See more below, but my thought is if you can't be happy with yourself, not much else matters. And screw others if they can't accept you.

You are what you are, I am what I am, people are who they are (or, at least, should be). If we can't accept each other or have no desire to, perhaps that's the way it should be.

I'm pretty happy with myself. No I'm not entirely happy by any means, as I still feel there's a lot more I can do in life, but I accept myself and am perfectly willing to accept others with no strings attached.

1. Try to 'please yourself' or do something that makes you feel accomplished, meaning do something that you've always wanted to do but couldn't (not other type of pleasing yourself ), like take a trip to Europe or something existential like.

Done that. I've done something recently which makes me feel quite accomplished. But then I'm always wanting to accomplish more so eh.

2. Try to help others. Genuinely. If you 'can't get no satisfaction' helping yourself, serve the servants.

The problem I've had with helping others is that they only want you to help them, to a point that you no longer matter as a person as much as an object to help them. And that's when I tell them to piss off. XD

If that doesn't work, move to Casablanca and open up a casino-bar named 'Ricks'.

That seems to have worked for a guy I know.

Sounds good to me.

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

I don't follow.

I wasn't sure what to advise. But, I still wanted to wish you peace. It sounds like you need some.

 

[Excess]

I wasn't sure what to advise. But, I still wanted to wish you peace. It sounds like you need some.

Eh, thanks, although my mind is almost never at peace. XD

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

The heart has to be at peace first. At least that's my own experience. I think we all go through times in our lives when we say "Who the hell am I and what am I doing here?" It tends to make one dissatisfied with everything. Find those things that give you joy and they will help you discover who you are. We're only unhappy and lack peace when we try to be someone else. Again, my experience. Hang in there.

 

[Cy/MiG]

The problem I've had with helping others is that they only want you to help them, to a point that you no longer matter as a person as much as an object to help them. And that's when I tell them to piss off. XD

I get you, but... so?

Haven't you heard of killing people with kindness? Screw them if they're SOB's. So long as you're doing the right thing, nothing---and I mean NOTHING---else matters.

And if you only help others so that they return the favor, you're in it for the wrong reasons anyways.

A good deed should be it's own thing (reward, fill in the cliche)... it's true. If you let other people's opinions/perceptions of you bother you, that's unfortunate.

Do your thing and so long as it's right, the rest is all background noise.

The heart has to be at peace first. At least that's my own experience. I think we all go through times in our lives when we say "Who the hell am I and what am I doing here?" It tends to make one dissatisfied with everything. Find those things that give you joy and they will help you discover who you are. We're only unhappy and lack peace when we try to be someone else. Again, my experience. Hang in there.

Mos def.

 

[Capnmad]

Sometimes you reach out and folks don't reach back... That's the way it is with me anyway. I just don't have the interest to engage full bore in all the digital media that people use to connect these days. I don't do chat, skype, facebook, I haven't IMed in about 2 months... I just browse and post and blog here and there, 'cause mostly, I don't have the time to do otherwise, and even if I did, I'd question myself with "Isn't there something more useful to do with my time?" until I found said something. I'm lucky enough that I get to events to meet actual people from here, and in the meantime, my roommate (also a forum member) likes doing all the online social networking stuff I generally steer clear of, so she keeps me in the loop as needed.

I really can't expect people to invest in me as a friend if they've never met me or I just drop a line out of the blue -- especially when I don't do all those little trendy chatty things, or even answer messages on time in most cases -- so I don't get my feathers in a ruffle when they don't. Doesn't mean I stop reaching, but I don't really invest much at all until I get some sort of consistent response, really good vibe and build a rapport with someone over time. Perhaps I'll grow concerned about others lack of response when I have nothing else to worry about, but as it is, 'plate's full. *shrug*

 

[poopies]

No I don't think it's bad. You've already invested an "excess" amount of time. Waka waka waka?

 

[Angel77]

Nah it's not bad. It's life. I think here (or anywhere really) is what you make of it. I've reached out to folks and have had that feeling of not really quite fitting in before. But then I just figure that maybe it's THEM, they don't fit in with ME. I'm ok with that too. Both in r/l and here. Hell, I've had people here that I thought were going to be terrific friends and poof, they just disappear. It's just life. I don't take it personally because the friends that I do have here (and in r/l) rock. It's definitely quality, not quantity. Best of luck to you!

 

[leafstk]

I agree pretty much with everything Angel just said

Not a big deal man and no, I don't think you're being a prick. But your experience here, like anywhere really, is what you make of it. You've always had a good sense of humour around here and that goes a long way Cheers and all the best!

 

[Borg Perfection]

That most people are either too shallow, too self-interested

95% of the active users on this forum.

 

[Knox The Hatter]

This looks like a post I would've put up myself...but I figured absolutely nothing positive would've come from it anyway

You're okay, Excess. You're a good egg.

 

[Mephistopheles]

Welcome aboard!

 

[chicago]

If you don't care, it's kind of surprising that you made a thread about it.

 

[Leo tickles]

You finally realized what I knew all along.


Well done.


Post when you want to type something, when no such urges come up, go do something that actually matters.

(Sleep, jack off, smoke, Xbox)

 

[Red faction]

your just got bored of the forum

 

[Excess]

If you don't care, it's kind of surprising that you made a thread about it.

That's because I care about thinking about it and talking about why I think of it in an observational sense and maybe for some self-resolution. Might not make much sense but I rarely do.

 

[ParanoidChant]

Look, this is a different type of forum than other ones out there: our mutual interest (tickling) generally isn't something we choose to pursue; rather it's just something that's apart of us whether we like it or not.

Ergo, there's very little promise of commonality amongst the membership other than this random aspect of our libido. Kinda hard to bond with people that way, isn't it? Hence why I rarely have insightful conversations with people in the chatroom ("any good tickle action lately? lol") At least on say, a vegetarian forum, you're likely to find a lot of people who are also into animals, cooking, liberal politics, etc ... Here it's a crapshoot.

That means ya gotta go into making a new friend here with hella enthusiasm if you don't immediately connect with them on some random point, like if they too have read all of the Twilight Saga or if they too have Levi Johntson's playgirl pin up on their wall (just ... two random examples ... ) That can be kind of a draining endeavor, and I know sometimes I just don't feel like responding to a VM right away or even feel like posting at all. Again, it's very much a crapshoot. You shoot crap.

I dunno man. I feel your frustration in feeling a disconnect from everyone else. It's like trying to make a friend on a plane ride. It's gonna happen for some folk but there's a high chance that you'll have jack shit in common with the person sitting next to you and conversation will be awkward and forced coz ya might as well talk to them. But I don't think that's a good enough reason not to try.

IMO internet forums retard conversation between people by taking away the immediate pace and non-verbal communication of face to face discussion. I'm gonna be hitting up a gathering here pretty soon, which will be my first IRL interaction with more than one ticklephile. I think I'll make a more final judgement on how well I connect with other TMFers after that.

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Very insightful, PC.

 

[Flatfoot]

You gotta go with what feels right to you. If this place just doesn't cut it for ya anymore, perhaps you could take a temporary leave of absence if there's more interesting things going on elsewhere for ya. One shouldn't feel obligated to stick around and "forcing" themselves to contribute when they don't feel like they're getting anything out of the experience. For what it's worth, I like having ya around, and not just because of your funny signatures and links that you post. Admittedly, outside of this place, I don't know you, but you do post entertaining things that I like reading (I mean YOUR PERSONAL posts, not links to other shit.). Given your jaded feelings, if I was in your shoes, I'd totally take that as just another example of a person who is only interested in my "contributions". However, I'm kinda jaded, myself, in some ways, and getting to the point in my life where I'm not really sure what quantifies a friend outside of my family, especially in the age of the "me" generation, full of "personality masturbation" social networks, people blocking themselves out from the rest of the world with their iPods and Blackberries, and as truthfully as the Onion put it, "People spend 90% of their day staring at lit rectangles," so I can't really throw a positive spin on it.

All tangent rambling aside, I'll just reiterate that it's good to have ya around!

 

[unclebill]

There are weeks when I am busy working overtime hours or have family issues, and I simply don`t have the time to log on here. Interesting threads move at a slow enough pace so I can catch up reading upon my return. Perhaps you are a little burned out by the TMF. Its perfectly understandable. As much as I enjoy tickling, it does get rather mundane at times in this forum. Try taking a break for a couple weeks and see if the interest is still there when you come back.