Is the TMF chatroom 95% males and M/M?

[Lee Ishler]

I was just wondering, is the TMF chatroom 95% males who are into M/M? That is my impression from being in there. I'm not saying that's bad, just that maybe it's not the best place for males like me looking for females into m/f or f/m. And it does seem like the few females who are in there are just into f/f. I do know that when I go in there, I get bombarded by PM's from other males right away, and they don't seem to stop. It has been suggested to me that the best place to find someone is a site like Fetlife, and I agree, if my goal would be to meet someone in person. But from what I've seen, I think the TMF chatroom is likely not the best place for straight guys to find cyber tickling. What do others think?

 

[kucheeku]

Interesting you get that impression. I'm a gay male ler into M/M tickling. If I lurk unannounced for a length of time in the chatroom, I will get PM'd by guys who think I'm f and get ghosted when they learn the truth.

 

[Lee Ishler]

Interesting you get that impression. I'm a gay male ler into M/M tickling. If I lurk unannounced for a length of time in the chatroom, I will get PM'd by guys who think I'm f and get ghosted when they learn the truth.

I understand. Like I said, it happens to me as soon as I go in there, I don't have to lurk very long, and I always say a few things on the main board, even though it seems there is not a whole lot of activity there, it seems most of what goes on must be PM'ing. I did try to PM a few females there, but they were either unresponsive, or replied that they are only into f/f. I think it's something that would take time, if there are even any females there interested in males to begin with. I think there are, but you probably need to go in there at the right time. That is my impression anyway.

 

[Toesheldback]

I haven’t been in there in many years, but when I used to pop in there, I had a feeling that most of the “women” in there looking for f/f were actually men.

 

[Lee Ishler]

I haven’t been in there in many years, but when I used to pop in there, I had a feeling that most of the “women” in there looking for f/f were actually men.

Exactly. It's not too hard to figure out, if you know what women are like. Men have a particular writing style that I can sense right away. And women are not usually as aggressive as men are. As I was told by another TMF member recently, many women probably prefer another female, as the men (though not all) can be creepy. So maybe the chatroom is not the best thing for me. Thanks for your reply, it seems you agree.

 

[Footntklfetish]

Most of the chats I receive are from straight men who are into all types of tickling whether it’s m/m, m/f, f/f, or f/m. Every now and then I get a few dms from women but its mostly men. I am straight and I can enjoy m/m tickling from time to time

 

[Lee Ishler]

Most of the chats I receive are from straight men who are into all types of tickling whether it’s m/m, m/f, f/f, or f/m. Every now and then I get a few dms from women but its mostly men. I am straight and I can enjoy m/m tickling from time to time

I've heard that some straight men can get into m/m tickling. I have nothing against it but it's not my thing. But yes, if I decide to go in the chatroom, I have to expect to get a lot of dm's from guys. I did meet a girl in there years ago who I chatted with a lot, but she seems to be inactive now. So I guess there's always a chance of that, but I think it would take a lot of patience.

 

[Nedward]

I have seen women there but men are the PM snipers

 

[ticklemepls]

As a female in the chat room - I don’t necessarily think that’s accurate. Many females are simply quiet because our PMs explode instantly with (many times) cringe worthy openings before even saying “hello”. I’ve been here since 2008 and it still happens (I’m anything but quiet in chat, but poking still remains).

 

[Tickaler]

Perhaps it's like the dating apps, 3:1 men to women, where a lot of dudes spam DM the few women in chat, making it difficult for the few gentlemen in chat to message the ladies

 

[4Pawz]

Historically, with out chatrooms, males pm quickly when someone enters. Sometimes female, but almost always male. There are plenty of m/f and f/m women in there, but they are cautious for that reason.

The chatroom does have a lovely feature that allows you to set your pm’s to friends only. If you don’t like random and frequent pm’s, I highly suggest it. It’s made going in there quite pleasant there is also an ignore feature if someone is being unpleasant.

 

[Lee Ishler]

As a female in the chat room - I don’t necessarily think that’s accurate. Many females are simply quiet because our PMs explode instantly with (many times) cringe worthy openings before even saying “hello”. I’ve been here since 2008 and it still happens (I’m anything but quiet in chat, but poking still remains).

Maybe 95% is a stretch, so I probably shouldn't have said that, but there's definitely many more males. I think I have seen your name in the chat room, but I admit it is not always easy opening another tab to look at someone's profile to check on their gender...I know years ago you could do that right from the chat but not now. As for the "poking", I completely understand, having been poked a lot myself! I prefer to get to know someone out on the main board first before I PM, but that's not always easy because there is often very little to no activity there, which makes PM'ing the only choice, and that takes confidence, which I definitely need more of.

 

[Lee Ishler]

Historically, with out chatrooms, males pm quickly when someone enters. Sometimes female, but almost always male. There are plenty of m/f and f/m women in there, but they are cautious for that reason.

The chatroom does have a lovely feature that allows you to set your pm’s to friends only. If you don’t like random and frequent pm’s, I highly suggest it. It’s made going in there quite pleasant there is also an ignore feature if someone is being unpleasant.

Thanks for letting me know. I admit I'm terrible when it comes to settings on sites like this, but I'll definitely look into it. As for PM's from friends only, I better not do that one just yet, not until I have a lot more friends!

 

[Elyos]

Completely agree with you on this one.

The other day during this week, it was quite good activity in the main chat. But, I am new here so I don't know how active the main chat usually is or isn't.

 

[Lee Ishler]

Completely agree with you on this one.

The other day during this week, it was quite good activity in the main chat. But, I am new here so I don't know how active the main chat usually is or isn't.

The main chat can be active or totally inactive depending on when you go in there. If it's inactive I'll type something there to see if I can get a conversation going, sometimes that works. But while I'm doing this is when I get unwanted PM's which can make it difficult, so I've learned to ignore those. This morning it was very good on the main board, lots of people chatting there. I prefer this to PM'ing, at least until I get to know everyone, which I'm still trying to do.

 

[Secretlee]

I dont think it is quite that extreme. Women usually get bombarded with DM's, so they are much less likely to DM you first, or respond if you DM them. Thats usually not true for men, so they are much quicker to DM, and more likely to respond to DM's.

 

[Lee Ishler]

I dont think it is quite that extreme. Women usually get bombarded with DM's, so they are much less likely to DM you first, or respond if you DM them. Thats usually not true for men, so they are much quicker to DM, and more likely to respond to DM's.

Yes, I did figure that out, and others here who replied told me pretty much the same. Maybe it isn't quite 95%, it just seems that way at times. I have been checking out the chat room a lot lately and learned to ignore the heavy bombardment of unwanted PM's. There are some females in there but I realize the whole thing takes a lot of patience. I try to meet someone out in the main room first before DM'ing. One women there recently DM'd me, then got pretty nasty when she found out I was a guy. It's not like I DM'd her first, and I'd think my name would be an obvious indication of my gender. But I guess there will always be a few idiots. Everyone else there has been pretty nice.

 

[Lee Ishler]

Perhaps it's like the dating apps, 3:1 men to women, where a lot of dudes spam DM the few women in chat, making it difficult for the few gentlemen in chat to message the ladies

Yeah that makes sense. But I did just have a great conversation in there with several ladies, and guys, and there wasn't even any PM'ing, it happened right out in the open, which is what I like. As for dating sites, I have very little experience, but when I did go in one, everyone seemed rude, so forget that. I didn't DM anyone there, but I did with one girl, because the site told me she was interested. Turns out she wasn't, it was the site doing that. BOO! How humiliating. She accused me of being there to see how many girls I could find...oh really? I was just looking for ONE. I got the hell outta THAT place. Good riddance!

 

[Elyos]

Yeah, it's a wise strategy you have there.

The worst are those who accuse one of not wanting to talk to them, just because you simply didn't have time to answer them as fast as they would like it.

 

[Lee Ishler]

Yeah, it's a wise strategy you have there.

The worst are those who accuse one of not wanting to talk to them, just because you simply didn't have time to answer them as fast as they would like it.

Well I wouldn't say THAT. As it stands, I don't DM anyone in the chat room here unless I already know them pretty well. So if they don't answer, at least I know it's nothing personal. I'll touch base with them eventually. And no one has accused me of that. I'm sure the ones who constantly DM are used to getting ignored.

 

[MatureTickler]

Most of the chats I receive are from straight men who are into all types of tickling whether it’s m/m, m/f, f/f, or f/m. Every now and then I get a few dms from women but its mostly men. I am straight and I can enjoy m/m tickling from time to time

I'm in the same boat lol

 

[Artemuse]

You might change your name. "Lee" can be taken for a woman's name; I've had some guys bother me when they see "Artemus", thinking I'm a woman... but it's not that often

 

[Lee Ishler]

You might change your name. "Lee" can be taken for a woman's name; I've had some guys bother me when they see "Artemus", thinking I'm a woman... but it's not that often

You're right, I found that out! A girl DM'd me in chat, and when she found out I was a guy she got real nasty. But now I have a pic of me on my chat avatar, so hopefully they know now. I didn't even realize Lee is a girl's name. I think it's more commonly a guy's. And I just DID change my name, I was fmguy22 before. But I didn't want everyone to think I was just a lee, I'm a ler too, I just tend to be more leeish. A leeish ler. So Lee Ishler is a pun, I guess not many get it! I found out most women here are lees, so I better wanna ler a bit, or I'm gonna be alone!