My favorite joke

[Double T]

*For those with a strict religious up-brinnging, you might want to skip this one*
Jesus and St. Peter were chatting one day when St. Peter said;
"Look, Jesus, I got to go talk to Bill Shakespere, I've been ducking him all week, would you mind taking over here for a while?"
Jesus says, "Sure.".
St. Peter says, "Just get the usuall info, name, occupation, fanily, yadda, yadda, yadda!".
"No problem!" Jesus says.
Things go smoothly for a while, then a little old man reaches the Gates of Heaven.
"Name?", Jesus says.
"I don't know!" the man replied. "Before I died, I had amnesia!"
"Hmmmmmmm?" said Jesus, "well, can you remember what you did for a livng?"
The man thought, then said, "I seem to remember working with wood."
Jesus said, "A Carpenter?"
Brightening, the man said, "Yes, I was a carpenter! That's it!"
O.K." Jesus said, "How about family?"
The man thought, but said nothing.
"Did you have a wife?" Jesus prompted.
Yes!" said the man, "I remember a woman, She was a very special woman, she seemed to have a kind of glow about her!"
"I see, Said Jesus, "and did you have any children?"
Again the man thought, but said nothing.
"A daughter, or son. perhaps?" asked Jesus.
"Yes!" the man said, "I seem to remember a boy. He left when he was very young, but he must have been important, because I kept hearing about all the marvelous things he did!"
Jesus, now openly weeping, throws his arms open, saying "Father!"
The man opens his arms and rushes forward saying, "Pinnoccio!"

 

[venray]

RoFlmao

very good one DT....

 

[Alex Warfield]

My favorite joke:

One day a gentleman named Alex Warfield was walking down the street. As he was going along, he spotted a cute little kitten sitting on the sidewalk. He said to the kitty, "Hey, c'mere ya little varmint, let me smell yer brains."

 

[njjen3953]

> A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from
her
> nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So, he says,
"Ms. Whack,
> I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation.
>
> Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to
borrow.
> The frog says "$30,000." The teller asks his name, and the frog
says that
> his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's
O.K. - he
> knows the bank manager.
>
> Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money, and
that he
> will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if
he has
> anything that he can use as collateral. The frog says, "Sure, I
have this,"
> and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall
- bright
> pink and perfectly formed.
>
> Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the
manager
> and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says:
"There's a
> frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants
to
> borrow $30,000. wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the
tiny
> pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
>
>
>
> ARE YOU READY???
>
>
>
> The bank manager looks back at her and says:
>
> "IT'S A KNICK KNACK, PATTI WHACK, GIVE THE FROG A LOAN. HIS OLD
MAN'S A
> ROLLING STONE."

 

[Double T]

Jen:
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

 

[Dave2112]

Jen, Jen, Jen.....

 

[strtbottomjim]

OK, what did the leper say to the hooker afterwards?







































"Keep the tip"

 

[njjen3953]

Jen, Jen, Jen.....

Yes, Dave?

Jen

 

[Dave2112]

It was a funny joke, I'm just pissed at myself for not seeing that coming....

 

[venray]

My favorite joke:

One day a gentleman named Alex Warfield was walking down the street. As he was going along, he spotted a cute little kitten sitting on the sidewalk. He said to the kitty, "Hey, c'mere ya little varmint, let me smell yer brains."